


Garnet

by lowkeyamen



Series: Solitaire [3]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Pet Play, Polyamory, Slow Build, Smut, very very slow build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:53:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 65,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeyamen/pseuds/lowkeyamen
Summary: Byungjoo saves Jiho from a manipulative relationship and learns a thing or two about himself in the process.





	1. Golddigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is the third part of solitaire!!!  
> it takes place about a year before opal and spans all the way to after turquoise so there's gonna be a lot going on in this fic!!!
> 
> this is going to be a VERY slow build and a lot of u wanting to scream @ byungjoo for being so dumb and clueless tbh
> 
> this chapter is only short but the entire work as a whole is the longest in the series (so far) - i'll try and update sooner to make up for this being so tiny, it just made sense to stop this chapter here oooop

_garnet; january_

_a healing stone; said to promote honesty and help one deal with_   _injustice and heartbreak_

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Is that a new phone?"

"Yeah, Jiho just got it for me." Sanggyun smirked to himself, holding the phone up to take a picture of himself, probably to send to his boyfriend. 

"Seriously? It's only been a few months, why does he buy you so much shit?" Byungjoo asked, mixing his cup noodles. 

"Because he loves me. It's kinda pathetic really; he literally buys me anything I want." Sanggyun grinned to himself smugly. "He bought me a brand new MacBook last week, just cause I said I needed one for school. Aaaand..." He drew out the word as he delved into his pocket, flashing a rectangle of black plastic. "He gave me his card cause I said I needed some books. He's so fucking gullible it's almost cute."

Byungjoo's mouth hung open. "So you're just using him for his money? I thought you really liked him."

Sanggyun scoffed, checking over the notifications on his new phone. "He's sweet and all, but he's about the  _'forever'_ thing. I'm eighteen, I'm not exactly thinking about who I want to spend the rest of my life with like he is. So yeah, I'm mainly with him for the money, like, 80%."

"What's the other twenty?" Byungjoo hoped that Sanggyun actually felt something for Jiho. He wasn't expecting his friend to marry the guy but he at least hoped he  _liked_  Jiho. It couldn't just be about the money. 

"His dick. It's  _amazing_ , Byungjoo. Seriously. He deserves an award for that thing." 

Byungjoo groaned inwardly. Sometimes he questioned his friendship with Sanggyun. The younger had always been high maintenance, but he never thought his friend would be a golddigger. He hadn't even met this Jiho and he felt sorry for him. 

"Don't you feel bad? You're basically stealing his money. Does he think you love him back?"

Sanggyun rolled his eyes. "I'm not  _stealing_  anything, Byungjoo. He gives me all this stuff. It works out great, he gets to date someone as amazing as yours truly," Sanggyun flipped some of his long, wavy hair as he spoke, "and I get all this free shit. I mean, it's the perfect relationship. I don't have to worry about all that gross, sentimental, lovey-dovey bullshit because he already has two boyfriends that genuinely seem to love him. I just get lots of presents and a good fuck every night. You're missing out, Byungjoo; you should really find yourself a model sugardaddy too."

"I'm good, thanks." Byungjoo slurped his noodles. Sure, he was a poor student, he could barely make it through the month on his loan and his minimum wage job, but there was no way he could use someone like that. Plus, he wasn't gay. 

"Fine, enjoy your shitty instant noodles. Jiho's taking me out to some fancy restaurant then I'm probably gonna blow him in his Audi, so, see ya tomorrow." 

Byungjoo snorted as Sanggyun left their flat. He  _would_  enjoy his shitty instant noodles; at least he earned his money through good, honest work. He moved to the window of his small dorm room to see if he could get a glance of the poor guy Sanggyun was bleeding dry. 

A tall, dark haired man was leaning up against a sports car, dressed all in black. Byungjoo assumed that must be him. He knew Jiho was a model and that guy looked like a model. And he didn't know much about cars but he assumed an Audi must be a pretty good make if Sanggyun felt the need to gloat about it, and that looked like a nice car. 

His suspicions were confirmed as Sanggyun bounded over to Jiho, his long hair bouncing as he caught the older boy in an embrace, pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips. Byungjoo rolled his eyes at how over-zealous Sanggyun was. How Jiho couldn't see that he was being played was a mystery to him. Maybe he deserved it if he was that dumb. 

He turned away from the window to find something on his laptop to watch. Probably porn. He hadn't decided yet. He couldn't really concentrate. What Sanggyun was doing to Jiho, and Jiho's boyfriends whose names he didn't even know, was nagging away at him, a voice in the back of his head was screaming  _'this is wrong'._

He loved Sanggyun, he would definitely consider the younger his best friend, but he couldn't let him do this to someone. He didn't know how he could put a stop to it without Sanggyun hating him, though. They lived together and Sanggyun was the only one of his flatmates that he actually liked. 

He shut his laptop down and threw himself on his bed, groaning into the pillow. He wished Sanggyun had just kept him in the dark about what he was doing to Jiho, or that he didn't have a conscience like his long-haired friend. 

He should nap. It was only 5pm but it's not like he had anything else to do and that's the only way he could stop thinking about this mess. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo threw his bag across his bedroom, wincing as it almost knocked the lamp on his desk over. He hated lectures. His tutor's voice was so monotone he could barely concentrate, and the dim lighting just made him sleepy. 

He threw himself down on his bed, popping the lid of his laptop open knowing no one would be in and he wouldn't be disturbed. He inwardly whined to himself as he scrolled through the files of downloaded porn he had harboured on his hard drive, he was way too lazy to wait for anything to buffer. He couldn't remember the last time he actually got laid. His life was so pathetic.

He heard a loud banging on the front door, ignoring it. It was usually just one of his housemates that couldn't be bothered to get their keys out of the bag. He was already sat down, he wasn't getting up for that.

He went back to browsing as the door rattled again, throwing his head back in frustration. Why couldn't people just leave him to wank in peace?

He dragged himself to the door, flinging it open, ready to lecture whichever of the dicks he lived with on taking their keys with them before leaving the flat.

"Hi!" A small, blonde boy beamed back at him, a huge cat-like grin on his face. "Is Sanggyun in?"

Byungjoo quirked an eyebrow.  _Who the fuck is this?_  "No he's still in a seminar...who are you?"

"Hansol." The boy smiled back, offering his hand for Byungjoo to shake. "Will he be long? We're meant to be going to see a movie."

Byungjoo shrugged. He honestly had no idea; he could barely keep up with his own timetable, never mind Sanggyun's. 

"I'll just wait for him then; he said he'd be finished around four." Hansol bounced past him, into their flat. "You don't mind right?"

The blonde's smile was infectious; Byungjoo couldn't help but return it, giving Hansol the idea that he was more than okay with this stranger hanging around their flat. He wasn't. He just wanted to jack off; he couldn't very well do that now. 

He mumbled a _'yeah sure, whatever'_ under his breath considering Hansol was already making himself comfortable in their living room. "So, who are you?"

The blonde giggled as he took off his shoes and crossed his legs underneath him on the sofa. "Hansol. I, like, just told you that."

Byungjoo inwardly rolled his eyes. "I meant to Sanggyun, how do you know him?" 

"Ohhhh... I'm his boyfriend's boyfriend."

Byungjoo's heart sunk. This adorable ball of happiness was one of the guys Sanggyun was playing? How could anyone do that to someone like Hansol? Byungjoo had only known him a matter of minutes but he could see how sweet and friendly the smaller boy was. 

Hansol giggled again, moving to the sofa Byungjoo was on, plopping himself down next to the younger. "You've never met any of us right? Sanggyun never wants us to come over here for some reason." He got his phone out of his pocket to show Byungjoo the picture on his lock screen.

"This," he pointed to the dark haired boy on the right of the screen, "is Jiho, he's with Sanggyun but he's my boyfriend too." Byungjoo recognised him from the other week when the model had picked Sanggyun up. 

"And this," he pointed to the smaller blonde boy with a deep dimple in Jiho's arms, "is Taeyang; he's Jiho's first boyfriend, and my other boyfriend. It's kinda complicated, but it works." 

"Wait, so you three are, like, all together? Sanggyun made out like Jiho just had this harem of boys or something."

Hansol giggled yet again, well, it was more of a high-pitched cackle this time, slapping Byungjoo on the shoulder. "Nah, it's not like that. Me, Tae and Jiji were all together before he met Sanggyun."

Byungjoo hummed lowly, eyes fixed on the picture on Hansol's phone. His boyfriends looked so happy, Hansol seemed so happy, and Sanggyun was going to ruin that one day. Byungjoo felt like he had some kind of obligation to tell Hansol what was going on, even though his loyalties should lie with his best friend. 

"How do you feel about Sanggyun being with Jiho?" Byungjoo asked, figuring he had better find out more about the relationship between the four boys before he made a decision. 

Hansol shrugged. "Well, I like him, he's cute and he smiles a lot. Jiho seems to really like him, and me and Tae get on well with him too, which is important. We would never bring anyone into our relationship if we weren't all comfortable around him." 

"I had guessed Jiho must really like him, he seems to buy him so much shit." Byungjoo tried to subtly approach the topic, kicking a pair of brand new shoes he knew Jiho had bought Sanggyun a few weeks ago. 

"Yeah, Jiho loves to spoil people." Hansol smiled, playing with the ring on his middle finger. "I've made him return so much stuff, because as much as I appreciate him buying me presents, I don't need him to. He's so bad with money too, he spends so much on other people he never has enough to treat himself, and he works so, so hard."

Byungjoo's heart clenched. He could tell how much Hansol loved Jiho by the faint blush that had crept on his cheeked as he spoke about the dark haired boy. 

He couldn't let Sanggyun do this. Byungjoo had wondered if maybe all of them were with Jiho for his money, if he was an actual sugardaddy. But that clearly wasn't the case. Hansol, and he assumed Taeyang, were in a real, loving relationship with the model, whereas Sanggyun was just using him. 

"Hansol...do you think that maybe San-"

"Byungjoo! How do you feel about getting absolutely paralytic tonight?" Sanggyun burst through the door of their small flat, several bottles of alcohol clinking in a bag he was carrying. He paused as he reached the living room, noticing the small blonde next to his best friend. "Hansol?"

"Sanggyunnie! Did you forget we're going to the cinema tonight?" Hansol pouted as he left the sofa to greet the younger boy. 

Sanggyun's eyes widened. "Oh my god! I totally did. I'm so sorry, Hansollie." Sanggyun placed the bag on the floor, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Hansol's cheek as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Byungjoo almost gagged. It was so put on. Sanggyun wasn't a hugger. At all. 

"It's okay!" Hansol's pout turned back into his signature Cheshire Cat grin. "We can go another day, you have fun with Joo."

Byungjoo felt his stomach tighten at the nickname. He wasn't even sure why, maybe because no one really called him that. 

"Are you sure?" Sanggyun tilted his head, a fake apologetic look on his face. "You can come with us if you want; it's just a party down the hall."

Hansol shook his head, rising up on his toes slightly to press a chaste kiss to Sanggyun's forehead. "I don't really drink. Text me and we'll meet up next week." The blonde turned to smile at Byungjoo. "It was nice meeting you, Joo; hopefully I'll see you around sometime."

Sanggyun breathed a sigh of relief as Hansol left. "Ugh, thank god. Why the fuck did you let him in?"

"I didn't really have a choice."

"Christ, he's so annoying. I'd much rather go to this party. You in? That girl you like from your bioethics class is gonna be there." 

Byungjoo's stomach tightened at the way Sanggyun spoke about Hansol, he was so blasé about brushing the smaller boy off. Hansol seemed genuinely excited to spend time with Sanggyun, and he seemed like a really nice kid. He didn't understand why his friend was being like this, he knew people tended to change when they went to university, but not this much. He barely even recognised Sanggyun anymore. 

"Byungjoo? Are you coming or not?"

He snapped out of his thoughts as his best friend waved a bottle of Corona in his face. He didn't really want to spend time with Sanggyun if he was being perfectly honest, but he had nothing better to do, and drinking might help him get over the guilt he was feeling. He didn't even know why he felt guilty; he wasn't the one doing anything wrong. 

"Yeah sure, whatever."

 


	2. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't wait to upload chapter 2 lmao it was annoying me that the first chapter was so short

Byungjoo stretched, eyes falling shut as he felt the sun on his face. He loved spring; it was by far his favourite season. He loved that it was bright, but the air was still crisp. He loved the flowers blooming and the bees and butterflies, but there were no annoying mosquitoes or flies buzzing around yet. But most of all he loved that he had just handed in his final project of the year. He didn't have to think about philosophy, ethics or religion for six whole months. 

He made his way through the campus, deciding he deserved a six-piece bargain bucket from KFC all to himself for his hard work. All of his friends were going out but if he was being perfectly honest he couldn't wait to lie around in bed watching Always Sunny and eating chicken until he fell asleep. He had only been over the legal drinking age a year and he was already bored of going out and getting plastered three times a week. It lost all appeal as he turned eighteen. He preferred the thrill of being underage and using someone else's ID, trying to pass off as his 27-year-old cousin to get into clubs. 

He passed the drama building on his way, figuring he had better call in and to check Sanggyun wasn't having a melt down over his essay that was due in the next few hours.  

"Byungjoo!"

The brunette stopped, taking out an ear bud to scan the foyer for the source of his name. No one he recognised was there. Something poked him in the shoulder blade, causing him to jump and swear loudly, earning him a glare from the receptionist. 

He heard a giggle behind him.  _Oh god, no_. 

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be so jumpy."

He turned to see Hansol smiling up at him; parts of his hair now dyed a mint green. A wave of nausea came over him. He had tried to forget about Hansol and Jiho and...the other one with the dimple whose name he couldn't remember. He had tried to forget about what Sanggyun was doing to them. 

"I'm just here to pick Sanggyun up when he's done; I know he's really stressed about his assignment so Jiho said we should have a movie night or something to help relax him." Hansol beamed. Byungjoo had never met anyone that had a constant smile on their face before, it was infectious. "Oh my God! You should join us! That'd be so much fun." 

Byungjoo felt his face heat up, praying he wasn't going visibly red. Why would Hansol want him third (fifth?) wheeling at a night in with his boyfriends? 

"Uh, th-thanks but...I have plans. Sorry." Byungjoo managed to stutter out, trying his hardest not to hurt Hansol's feelings. He wouldn't have minded spending time with the blonde, but he couldn't watch Sanggyun play the loving boyfriend role. It knocked him sick. 

"Ah, that's okay, maybe another time." Hansol's smile didn't even falter. 

He had to tell him. Hansol seemed so lovely he couldn't let Sanggyun keep doing this. It might ruin his perfect smile for a bit, and Sanggyun would definitely hate him for a while, but it was the right thing to do. He had just handed in an ethics essay; it would be hypocritical of him to keep Hansol in the dark any longer. 

"Can we talk? Somewhere other than here?"

Hansol tilted his head, smile wavering. "Yeah, sure, I'll just text Sanggyun in case he comes out looking for me."

"No, don't." Hansol's eyes widened at Byungjoo's abrupt tone. The brunette sighed. "Just come with me, you might wanna sit down for this."

He led Hansol to a nearby coffee shop attached to the university library, buying them both a cup of tea. 

"Are you okay, Joo? You seem all jittery." 

Byungjoo's stomach tightened again at the nickname. He didn't want Hansol's smile to disappear but he had to do this. 

"It's about Sanggyun." He started, counting how many spoons of sugar Hansol was putting in his tea. Four.  _Really?_

"Oh my God, is he okay? He's not sick or in trouble, is he?" Hansol's eyes widened, swimming with worry as he took a sip of the sweet liquid. 

Why did he have to be so considerate? He clearly cared a lot for the longer haired boy. Byungjoo almost felt bad that he was about to ruin that. But he felt even worse that he was part of Sanggyun's lie. 

"No, he's fine. But there's something you need to know about him." He took a deep breath. He hated ratting out his friends. He didn't even know how to tell Hansol. He wanted to break it to him slowly to cushion the blow but he didn't want to ramble on for twenty minutes. He shredded a napkin as his mind raced. 

"He's only with Jiho for his money." His own eyes widened as he realised what he had blurted out. So much for cushioning the blow. 

Hansol's eyebrows knitted together. "Byungjoo...you can't just say something like that about someone. Sanggyun really likes Jiho; you've never seen them together."

"He told me, Hansol. He's my best friend; I wouldn't just make something like that up. I feel like shit for going behind his back like this, but I don't agree with what he's doing to you guys."

Hansol's lips parted as he cast his gaze down to his overly-sugary tea. "Are...are you sure? Maybe you just got the wrong end of the stick..."

"Hansol." He reached across the table to place a comforting hand over Hansol's slightly smaller one. "He was bragging about all the stuff Jiho gave him. He literally told me that he's with him for the money. He was laughing about how gullible Jiho his for buying him all these presents. He doesn't love him. He's using him. He's using all of you."

Hansol looked across at the drama building through the window, knowing Sanggyun was somewhere in there. Byungjoo could see his eyes starting to glaze over. He gripped tighter onto Hansol's hand, frowning as the blonde pulled away. 

"I don't believe you. Sanggyun isn't like that, he and Jiho are really happy together. Yeah, Jiho spends a lot on him but that's his choice. He loves showering people with presents. That's just how he is, you don't even know him." 

Byungjoo flinched at Hansol's pointed tone, a sharp contrast to his usual fluffy demeanour. 

"I'm not coming for Jiho. I'm just telling you exactly what Sanggyun said to me. He referred to him as his  _'model sugardaddy'_. I'm sorry Hansol, but he's not who you think he is. He's not who I thought he was either."

"Sanggyun has never asked for anything though, Jiho just buys the people he loves stuff for no reason." 

Byungjoo sighed; he hadn't expected Hansol to be so stubborn. "The MacBook? He didn't  _need_  that, he just wanted it. The phone? Same again. All those designer clothes and shoes that I know fine well Sanggyun has had his eye on for months. I'm not saying Jiho doesn't just spontaneously buy people stuff, but Sanggyun is taking advantage of that. Think about it, Hansol. Jiho gave him his card to buy books the other week. He just withdrew money and spent it on drink so it wouldn't show up on the statement. He's taking you all for a ride and I couldn't sit back and watch him do it. I don't even know you guys; do you really think I'd risk my relationship with my best friend by making something like this up?"

Hansol bit down on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering. He didn't want to believe it, but Byungjoo was right, Jiho was spending a ridiculous amount on Sanggyun. And now he thought about it, the drama student did suggest they go on a lot of shopping dates when Jiho asked him what he wanted to do for the day. 

"H-how could he do that to Jiji? He's fallen for him so hard and he's just using him. Jiho is like, the kindest, most loving person in the world why would anyone do this to him?" Byungjoo's heart clenched as a tear rolled down Hansol's face, his eyes still fixed on the building across from them. 

"I dunno...he never used to be like this I don't know what's happened to him." Byungjoo genuinely never expected Sanggyun to do something like this. He didn't even feel that bad for telling Hansol and probably ruining Sanggyun's life in the process. He wasn't even sure he still wanted to be friends with this 'new' Sanggyun. 

Hansol sniffed, wiping his face with his sleeve. "Thank you for telling me, I know it must have been hard for you. I have no idea how I'm gonna tell Jiho. Taeyang is gonna kick off. Sorry in advance if a tiny, angry blonde shows up on your doorstep asking to fight Sanggyun." Hansol laughed bitterly to himself as his tears began to subside. 

"Thanks for the tea but I'm gonna go before he gets out. I really don't want to see him right now." Hansol stood, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. Byungjoo followed him to the door, almost dropping his drink as Hansol threw his arms around the brunette's waist. 

"Thank you for telling me." Hansol's voice was muffled due to his face being buried in Byungjoo's coat. "Jiho is gonna be gutted but it's for the best, he doesn't deserve this."

Byungjoo hesitantly brought his free arm around Hansol's shoulder, awkwardly patting him on the back in a totally straight-and-manly fashion. 

Hansol gave him a sad smile as he un-looped his arms from around the younger, heading back to his car. 

Byungjoo breathed a sigh of relief. He felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. For now, at least. Until Sanggyun found out that he was the one who grassed him up. He whined, earning a dirty look for a nearby couple as he thought about the wrath of Sanggyun. Fuck it; it's his own fault for being such a dickhead. 

"Hey, Kim." Byungjoo groaned internally, recognising the voice as that asshole that picked on him in high school. "Your boyfriend's cute." The guy behind him sneered.  

"He's not my boyfriend." Byungjoo replied, almost through gritted teeth.

"Sure." The guy snorted, leaning in close to Byungjoo's ear. "I always knew you were a queer." He laughed to himself, pushing through the cafe door, making a blowjob gesture with his fist and tongue poking into the side of his cheek as he passed the window. 

Byungjoo closed his eyes, breathing deeply as the years of high school torment resurfaced. 

He definitely deserved a KFC after this. He might even go all out and get a ten-piece bucket. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

He had just bit into a chicken wing when there was a loud banging on the door. He swore, stretching as he went to answer it when whoever it was knocked again, this time even more aggressively. 

"Jesus Christ, who the fuck?" He opened the door and was faced with a tiny, angry, blonde. _Oh, god._  He had hoped Hansol had been kidding. 

"Is Sanggyun in?"

"Uh, no, I haven't seen him all day." Taeyang was shorter, and Byungjoo was pretty sure he was younger than him too, but the blonde was intimidating. He wore a stern expression on his sculpted face, arms crossed tightly across his chest. 

"Good." He pushed past Byungjoo into his flat. "If I see that little cunt again I'm gonna fucking deck him."

Byungjoo watched with wide eyes as Taeyang walked through their small apartment, as if he was looking for something. 

"Sorry about Tae."

Byungjoo jumped at the deep voice that rang behind him. 

"He's really over-protective of me."

He turned to see Jiho standing in the doorway. He hadn't expected the dark-haired boy to be so tall. Though, he was a model so he guessed that made sense. 

"Which one is his room?!" Taeyang shouted from somewhere deeper in the apartment. 

Byungjoo shut the door behind them as Jiho followed Taeyang. He wondered if they invited themselves into everyone's house like this. 

"Uh, it's that one on the right." He pointed to the room opposite his. "Why? What are you gon-"

He didn't even need to finish asking the question as Taeyang barged into Sanggyun's room, throwing open the doors of his wardrobe. "Jiho! Come take back everything you bought that golddigging prick." He picked the MacBook up off Sanggyun's bed; putting it in the backpack he had hanging off his shoulder. 

"Tae, do we really need to take that? What if he has important stuff on it?" Jiho asked as he carefully looked through Sanggyun's clothing, picking out the things he had bought for the younger boy. 

"He should have thought about that before he took advantage of you, there's no way I'm letting him keep a laptop that expensive. Make sure you get everything, he doesn't deserve a single thing from you." 

Taeyang left Sanggyun's room; looking around the open plan living room for anything else Jiho might have bought his ex-boyfriend. Byungjoo had taken his place back on the sofa, gnawing on a chicken drumstick as he let the two strangers ransack his supposed best friend’s room. He couldn't be bothered to argue with them, Sanggyun probably deserved it, and it was the first day of his holiday, he wasn't ruining it by getting into a fight. Plus, Taeyang would probably win. 

"I assume you're Byungjoo." The small blonde sat next to him on the sofa, stealing a piece of popcorn chicken from the brunette's lap. Byungjoo stared back at him, mouth agape. Those were his favourites. "Thanks for telling Hansol about all this. Jiho would have never realised, when he falls for someone he falls hard, he never really sees the bad in anyone."

"S'okay." He mumbled through a mouthful of fries. "He's gonna kill me, but I don't really care anymore. I'll just lock myself up in my room with the rest of this chicken." He slapped Taeyang's hand away as the other tried to sneak another piece. "If you stop stealing it all I can probably survive a few days." 

"If he gives you any grief just ring me and I'll sort him out." Taeyang threatened before a dimpled smile broke out on his face. Byungjoo was amazed at how someone so ruthless could be so adorable. "You did the right thing, Byungjoo. I hate when people take advantage of his kind-heartedness." 

Byungjoo followed Taeyang's gaze to Sanggyun's bedroom, where Jiho was meticulously folding t-shirts he had crumpled while looking for the things he had bought Sanggyun, carefully placing everything back in the correct drawer so Sanggyun wouldn't come back to a mess. 

"Even after everything he still cares about him, huh?" Byungjoo asked under his breath, ensuring Jiho wouldn't be able to hear. 

Taeyang hummed, watching his boyfriend’s heart break a little more with every item he put in the bag he had brought with him. "I pretty much had to force him to do this, I'm not sure he's come to terms with the fact Sanggyun doesn't love him back. That everything he said was a lie. He's such a sweet a kid, I don't think he understands why anyone would do something like this." 

"Kid?" Byungjoo cocked his head. "How old is he?"

"Just turned nineteen."

Byungjoo's eyebrows shot up under his dark hair. They were the same age? He had assumed Jiho was a good six or seven years older than he and Sanggyun, maybe in his late twenties. Maybe models earned more than he thought. It was a shame he's so damn short. 

"Do you know which toothbrush is his?" Byungjoo was pulled from his thoughts of how little he had achieved in nineteen years compared to Jiho by the seemingly random question from Taeyang. 

"The green one. Why? You gonna clean the toilet with it or something?"

Taeyang's eyes widened before a sly grin appeared on his face. "I was just gonna put chilli powder on it or something, but that's way more disgusting. I like the way you think, Byungjoo." 

"Tae?" Jiho was standing at the end of the sofa, wiping his face with the sleeve of his grey sweater. "Can we go? I don't wanna run into him or anything."

Taeyang's smirk softened as Jiho's voice cracked, jumping off the sofa to wrap his arms around his taller boyfriend. "Sure Bambi, you got everything?"

Jiho nodded, opening his palm to reveal a silver ring with a single lilac stone on it. "He doesn't even fucking wear it. I need to get out of here." 

Taeyang took the ring from Jiho, putting it in his pocket as he raised himself up on his toes to press a comforting kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. "Let's go home, babe, I'll ask Hansollie to order your favourite for dinner." 

Byungjoo watched as Taeyang laced his fingers with Jiho's. From the pictures he had seen of the model he would never have guessed he wasn't even twenty, but the vulnerability in his eyes made the tall, dark haired man look younger, well, his real age.

"Thanks, Byungjoo." Jiho's voice was barely above a whisper as he addressed the brunette. "When I speak to Sanggyun I'll not mention that you're the one that told us, I don't want him taking this out on you." 

"Thanks." Byungjoo breathed. He had never known anyone as selfless as Jiho, even though his heart of clearly breaking he was still thinking about Byungjoo's wellbeing, and they didn't even know one another. "I hope you'll be okay, Jiho. It's really fucking shitty what he did to you." 

The model smiled, warming Byungjoo's heart. The one nice thing Sanggyun had said about Jiho was that his smile was flawless, he wasn't wrong. 

"I'll be fine, I have Tae and Hansol." He lazily threw an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, signalling that he had all he needed. "Will you be okay? Sanggyun is gonna go crazy when he realises what's happened. Do you...wanna come to ours for a bit?"

"Uh..." Byungjoo hadn't really thought about how Sanggyun was going to react to all of this, but Jiho was right, he'd be more than pissed off, and would more than likely take it out on Byungjoo. He was the one that let them in to take all the stuff back after all. 

"You can bring your bucket of KFC." Taeyang added, as if that was what the brunette was pondering over. 

"Yeah, okay sure. Let me put some actual pants on."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Joo!" Hansol wrapped his arms around the younger boy. "I'm so happy you're here! Welcome to our home! Are you okay? Taeyang didn't scare you too much, right? He's an angel, I promise. He just hates people messing with Jiho. Does Sanggyun know you told me? He didn't say anything to you, did he? I'd love to see his face when he gets back and realises all his stuff is gone. Do you want some food? Oh my god, you brought KFC?! Ah, my favourite! Awesome!"

Byungjoo gaped as Hansol took the bucket of chicken from him, skipping down the hall to what he assumed was their kitchen. Hansol spoke so fast he had barely even registered what the blonde had said. 

"He's always this excitable, you'll get used to it." Jiho offered him a sad smile as he followed Hansol. 

"I'll get it back, stop pouting." Taeyang punched him lightly on the arm as he passed the brunette. "I've never known anyone so attached to chicken." 

Byungjoo was about to protest when he realised that, actually, he was a poor student and had spent a fair amount of money on that meal, so yeah, he was pretty attached. 

Byungjoo entered the kitchen, it was the first time he has seen the three of them together. They looked so happy. Hansol had his arms looped around Jiho's waist, beaming up at the younger, trying to get him to smile back. Taeyang moved over to join them, pressing a kiss to Hansol's lips as he snuggled in his taller boyfriend’s side. 

They were so cute. He had never even really considered that three people could be happy together. Originally; he genuinely thought that Jiho was some kind of sex fiend that needed three boyfriends, and they were all just at his beck and call; though it was obvious that they were not only in love with Jiho, but with one another. 

The four of them curled up on the sofa in the living room, after having ordered more chicken, much to Byungjoo's relief. The seat was barely big enough for all of them, and he had somehow ended up crushed between Jiho and Hansol. It was nowhere near as awkward as he thought it would have been, stuck between a couple, in fact, he felt really warm, inside and out. He found himself nodding off to sleep, head rested on Jiho's shoulder whilst some cheesy romcom played in the background. 

He was woken by a soft sniffling beside him, the shoulder his head as rested on shaking.  _Was Jiho crying?_

"Hey," he whispered, nudging the model, "you okay."

Jiho flinched, clearly thinking everyone was asleep, hurriedly wiping his eyes. "Ye-yeah, I'm fine."

Byungjoo sighed, shifting to face the younger. "Is it Sanggyun?" 

Jiho sucked on his bottom lip, nodding lowly as he tried to fight back the tears. He hated crying in front of people. He hated crying full stop. 

Byungjoo didn't really know how to deal with this, he barely knew the guy. Plus, both of Jiho's boyfriends were asleep either side of them, maybe he should wake Hansol up or something. 

"Do you need to talk?" He spoke without even thinking. Listening wasn't his strong point he had no idea why he said that. 

Jiho nodded again, putting his hand out for Byungjoo to take as he stood. Byungjoo hesitated before taking the younger up on the offer, allowing Jiho to lead him to one of bedrooms. 

"I'm really sorry, Jiho." Byungjoo spoke as they sat down on the models bed. Jiho's room smelled like jasmine, and was weirdly warm and inviting. He expected a models room to be all modern and pristine. "I'm sorry you had to find out like that, but I just had to tell Hansol." 

Jiho shook his head, leaning back against the mountain of pillows on his bed. "I'm glad you did. I'm just not sure it's sunk in yet. I've never had my heart broken before." Jiho laughed bitterly, wiping his face with the sleeve of his black sweater. "God, I'm such a fucking idiot." 

Byungjoo hated that he was the reason that Jiho felt like this.  _Wait. Why?_  This was Sanggyun's fault, Sanggyun did this, Byungjoo just happened to be the bearer of bad news. 

"No, you're not. Sanggyun is a drama student, after all." Byungjoo tried to provide some light humour, hoping it would stop the tears streaming down Jiho's face. 

"I guess he'd be pretty shitty actor if he wasn't good at pretending." Jiho smiled to himself, shifting onto his side so he could lie down, facing Byungjoo. "Do you think he'll know it was you that told us?" 

Byungjoo shrugged. "Probably. I don't really care. I mean, we're kinda best friends, but lately it's like I don't even know him. He's changed so much in the past couple of months. The Sanggyun I know would never have done anything like this."

Byungjoo thought back to when the two of them met. They were sat next to each other in pretty much every lesson at school; having the same surname. Everyone assumed they were related, British people not realising that one in five Koreans shared the family name 'Kim'.

"I'm surprised he hasn't rang me or shown up here yet." Jiho checked his phone for notifications, his face highlighted by the glow of his iPhone. "I really can't be bothered to deal with him. I don't want to hear his bullshit excuses. I'd be happy never to see him again, to be honest." 

Byungjoo checked his own phone. Nothing from Sanggyun. He figured the other hadn't even been back home if that was the case, knowing fine well he'd be bombarded with messages and missed calls if Sanggyun had realised all his new expensive clothes were gone. 

"I don't think that's gonna happen, unfortunately. Sanggyun doesn't go down without a fight. He's gonna be really,  _really_  pissed you took all that stuff back. Even though you had every right to." 

"I didn't even want it back, I was just gonna let him keep it and cut him out but Taeyang insisted."

"He really loves you." Byungjoo mused, thinking back to the conversation he and Taeyang had in his living room. "So does Hansol. You should try not to worry about Sanggyun, at least you have them."

Jiho snuggled into the pillows, wrapping his arms around one in lieu of his boyfriends being asleep next door. "I know, I don't need him anyway. I just thought I'd found someone else that loves me. Guess not."

Byungjoo yawned, he really had no idea how Sanggyun could have used Jiho like that. The younger seemed so sweet and genuine. 

"You can just sleep here if you're tired." He glanced over at the dark-haired model, who had worked his way under the covers, not even bothering to get changed. 

Byungjoo's breath hitched. He wasn't homophobic, his (ex?) best friend was gay, he just didn't feel comfortable sharing a bed with another guy...who happened to like other guys. 

"Just cause I have three- two," he corrected himself, "boyfriends doesn't mean I'm gonna try anything, Byungjoo. I'm not a sex addict. I can keep my hands to myself." Jiho smiled against the pillow, clearly sensing Byungjoo's discomfort. 

He internally scolded himself for being so transparent. It was pretty presumptuous to think Jiho was even attracted to him. 

He climbed into bed next to Jiho, shuffling until he could get comfortable. He didn't really like sleeping in clothes, but he figured it would be beyond awkward if he got naked in the bed of a model he had known for all of six hours. 

"Night, Joo." His stomach flipped at the nickname, much like when Hansol had called him it a couple of weeks ago. 

"Night, Jiho."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo woke up wrapped around a warm body. His heart raced as he realised he had gravitated towards Jiho during the night, and now the dark-haired model was staring down at him with an amused smile on his face. 

"I guess it's you that can't keep their hands to themselves, Joo. I'm a taken man, you know."

Byungjoo's face heated up, flush against Jiho's chest as he turned various shades of red. His limbs had stopped responding. He wanted to pull away from Jiho, and maybe run home as far away from the model as possible, but he was frozen; arms wrapped tightly around Jiho's waist, nuzzled into his thin t shirt. He could feel Jiho's heart beat on his cheek. 

"Uh..." His words weren't working either. Jesus Christ, Byungjoo, get your shit together. 

"Sanggyun texted me, a lot. I have eighteen missed calls too. You might wanna check your phone." Jiho announced, scrolling through his notifications, seemingly unphased that Byungjoo had him trapped in a tight hug. 

Byungjoo managed to snap out of whatever the hell was wrong with him, scurrying away from Jiho to grab his phone. He groaned as he scrolled through the messages from Sanggyun. Mostly bitching about how his stuff was taken and asking Byungjoo where he was. 

"I don't think he knows I was involved." Byungjoo breathed a sigh of relief. He really couldn't be bothered with any confrontation this morning. 

"Well, that's good." Jiho stretched now he was free from Byungjoo's grasp. "You gonna go back over there?"

Byungjoo sighed, massaging his temples as a headache started to form even thinking about seeing his friend again. 

"I guess I better go back and face hurricane Sanggyun before he starts getting suspicious."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo hesitantly opened the door, hoping Sanggyun would be in the bathroom or something so he could sneak into his own room undetected. No such luck. 

"Byungjoo! Did you get my texts? Jiho fucking stole all my shit!" Sanggyun was sat in their shared living room, feet up on the coffee table as he played on his phone. "I don't even know how he got in here. One of those idiots we live with must have let him in. I'm surprised even he had the balls to, actually." 

Byungjoo groaned internally. Sanggyun was going to be bitching about Jiho even more now; he really couldn't be bothered with this. 

"Where you been, anyway?"

Byungjoo faltered. Why the fuck hadn't he thought of a cover story on his way home? His face reddened instantly as his mind raced. 

"Well?" Sanggyun raised his eyes from his phone to glance over at the brunette. "Oh my god, did you get laid? Who is she?" 

Byungjoo stuttered. He figured that was the best excuse for staying out all night...but that felt kind of weird after spending the night in the same bed as Sanggyun's now ex-boyfriend though. 

"Or he? You know there's bets going around campus on when you're gonna come out?"

Byungjoo clenched his teeth. He hated that everyone assumed he was into guys when he wasn't. Lying would hopefully quash those rumours too. 

"Just someone from my ethics class. Don't think you know her." 

Sanggyun smiled a Cheshire Cat grin as he quizzed Byungjoo about this imaginary girl; he just about managed to answer all his questions without seeming too frazzled. He hoped, anyway. Lying wasn't exactly his strong point. 

"Well, look at you, dirty stop out. I get dumped and you get laid, who'd've thought, huh? Nice one, Joo."

Byungjoo shifted uncomfortably in the hallway, he had expected a lot more shouting and amateur dramatics. Maybe Sanggyun had gotten all of that out of his system. Or maybe he really had no idea Byungjoo was the one who told Hansol. 

He settled down next to the brunette, absentmindedly nodding as the younger told him about how Jiho, or someone, had broken into their flat and stole back all the stuff Jiho had bought him. Sanggyun assumed it was Taeyang, since he had always suspected the elder didn't like him. 

Sanggyun thought it was because Taeyang was jealous, but Byungjoo didn't see that at all. Taeyang had nothing to be jealous of. It was probably because the other was suspicious of Sanggyun's golddigging ways. 

Byungjoo really didn't care about Sanggyun's woes. If he didn't have to go back to his university apartment he probably wouldn't have bothered. He would have honestly rather stayed in Jiho's bed. 

That's what he couldn't understand. If Jiho was an awful person, then he could have let Sanggyun get away with using him for his money. But Jiho seemed so sweet; not only to his boyfriends but to his friends, and people he had even just met. 

Jiho barely even knew him and he had let Byungjoo into his house, his bed, treated Byungjoo as if they had known each other forever. He treated him better in those few hours than Sanggyun had in the past three months. 

"Maybe you deserved it."

He cut off Sanggyun's rambling without even thinking, the younger turning to him, mouth agape. 

"Sanggyun, you were  _using_  him. He's just a kid himself. It wasn't fair what you were doing to him."

"So? It's not like he doesn't have enough money to spare, he wanted another cute boyfriend and I wanted to be showered with presents, I don't see the prob-" Sanggyun's eyebrows knitted together as the penny dropped. "It was you, wasn't it? You told him."

Byungjoo faltered. Why hadn't he prepared for this? He was such an idiot. Sanggyun was staring at him with fire in his eyes.  _Fuck_. 

"Yeah. It was, actually. I told Hansol."

"You fucking what?"

"I told Hansol." He repeated himself, nonchalant, knowing he couldn't lie his way out of this. He figured he may as well try and play it cool. He really didn't care all that much about Sanggyun anymore anyway, it's not like he wanted to try and preserve their friendship. "I think it was really fucked up what you were doing to them."

Sanggyun's jaw managed to drop even more. "You're my  _best friend_ , Byungjoo. Why the fuck you would sell me out like that?!"

Byungjoo sighed. He couldn't really be bothered to go over this; he knew the likelihood of Sanggyun accepting that he'd done something wrong was pretty slim. 

"Sanggyun, you were  _using_  him. If he had known you were only in it for his money then I would get that, but he didn't. Don't you feel even the slightest bit bad?"

"Not really, no. It's just money, he has plenty."

"So, you don't care about his feelings? He had totally fallen for you, Sanggyun. He thought this was real." 

"Well, I never asked him to."

Byungjoo scoffed, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. This wasn't the Sanggyun he had been best friends with for thirteen years. He had no idea who this guy sitting next to him was, but it wasn't Sanggyun. 

"Wow." Byungjoo stood, not even able to look at the younger as he turned to go into his room. "You are something else."

"Byungjoo! Don't walk away from me!" Sanggyun shouted after the brunette, who ignored him. "He took all my shit, you fucking owe me!"

Byungjoo stopped.  _Owe him? Was Sanggyun taking the piss?_

"I don't owe you shit."

"He took my MacBook, Joo, all my coursework was on there."

Byungjoo didn't really see how that was his problem. Was Sanggyun expecting Byungjoo to redo his essays for him or something? 

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you took advantage of him." He echoed Taeyang's words from the day before. Sure, it was harsh; he knew how stressful it was losing something you'd worked so hard on. But right now, he really couldn't care less about Sanggyun. 

"Why do you even care so much? You don't even know him." Sanggyun closed in on him, eyes widening as a light bulb went off in his mind. "You're fucking him, aren't you?"

"What?"

Sanggyun scoffed. "Of course, why else would you care? You just want me out of the way so you can have him yourself."

Byungjoo quirked an eyebrow. Where the fuck was Sanggyun getting this from? "I'm not even gay. You know that."

"Come on, Joo. The whole in denial about your sexuality thing was cute when we were fifteen but it's just insulting now."

Byungjoo blinked. He really didn't understand why everyone was always on his back about his sexuality. So, a lot of his friends happened to be gay, he wasn't exactly the image of masculinity and he preferred romantic comedies to action movies. That didn't make him gay, though. He was so sick of everyone assuming he was. Even after almost thirteen years of friendship Sanggyun was still trying to force him to come out as something he wasn't. 

"Sanggyun. I'm not gay and I'm definitely not sleeping with Jiho." 

Sanggyun’s eyes narrowed slightly, clearly not believing him. It didn't make sense. Why would Byungjoo pick this random guy over his best friend? In Sanggyun’s mind, that was the only logical explanation. 

"Are you fucking Hansol, then? He always struck me as a massive slut."

Byungjoo gaped. He didn't know why he felt so defensive of Hansol, maybe it was because he was fairly sure the blonde had never said a bad word against anyone in his life, he didn't deserve someone like Sanggyun talking about him like that. 

"I'm not sleeping with any of them, Sanggyun. I told them because they deserved to know. What you were doing to them was wrong. That's it." 

He wasn't having this conversation anymore. He really could not deal with Sanggyun accusing him of sleeping with more people or even arguing with the younger at all

"Byungj-"

He slammed his bedroom door in Sanggyun’s face. Propping his desk chair up against the handle so his supposed best friend couldn't get in, putting his music on full blast to drown out the names being screamed at him from out in the hall. 

He really didn't know what Sanggyun's problem was. Why he was acting like this. Why he was so baffled that Byungjoo had done the right thing. Did he really think that using Jiho like that was okay? 

What annoyed him ever more was his supposed best friend constantly goading him over him apparently being in denial about being gay. When Sanggyun had come out Byungjoo was the one that helped him through it, stuck up for him when people at school made fun of him for liking boys. Sanggyun knew better than anyone how hard it was coming to terms with one’s sexuality, how difficult coming out was. Why would he try and force someone else to? Especially when that someone else wasn't even gay. 

It was something that people often mistakenly assumed about him. He had no problem with people being gay, it wasn't like it was an insult or anything, he was just sick of everyone thinking he was, sick of being picked on for something that wasn't even true since high school. Sanggyun knew fine well it was a sensitive topic for him; but when they argued the younger would always bring it up. 

He honestly had no idea why he was still friends with Sanggyun. 

He lay down on his bed, arguing always tired him out, picking up his phone to check on any notifications he may have gotten while Sanggyun was being a dick. He smiled to himself as he scrolled through the messages from Hansol and Jiho; he even had one from Taeyang, asking how things had gone with Sanggyun. 

He was pretty sure he didn't need Sanggyun anymore. If he was being perfectly honest, they were only friends out of habit. Sanggyun was a social butterfly, he would usually make friends and Byungjoo would end up being friends with them too by proxy. He wasn't so good at all that, but over the past few months he had realised there was very little he actually liked about the long-haired boy. 

He replied to the messages, just saying things didn't go to bad so they didn't worry, laughing softly as Jiho almost instantly sent him back a plethora of emoji’s. He was pretty sure this model he had only met once probably cared about him more than Sanggyun did. 

Maybe he really didn't need Sanggyun anymore. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo was glad he only had a few of weeks left of his first year of university. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand living with Sanggyun. 

Ever since he had confessed he was the one that told Hansol and Jiho about what he was doing, the younger had made his life hell. He spent the majority of the time in his room, avoiding Sanggyun, and the rest of his roommates who the brunette had turned against him.  _Just one more month._

He ended up spending a lot of time at Jiho and Hansol's, neither of which were coping too well with what Sanggyun had done to them. Taeyang on the other hand, wasn't so bothered. 

The two of them were walking through their university campus; turns out Taeyang went there too, studying music. 

"They've both been so quiet lately." Taeyang mused, taking a drag from his cigarette. "It's weird; usually I can't get them to shut up, but now..."

Byungjoo hummed, he didn't know Jiho or Hansol as well as Taeyang did, but considering how much the blonde makeup artist has spoken the first time they met he could see where Taeyang was coming from. 

"Do you think they'll get over it, though?"

"Yeah. Eventually. I just don't think either of them can deal with the fact anyone would do that. Jiho had a very sheltered upbringing, and Hansol is like a ray of sunshine. The two of them never see the bad in anyone."

"I feel kinda bad for doing this to them."

"Don't." From looks Byungjoo could never believe that Taeyang was almost three years older than him, but he was so much more level-headed than any nineteen-year-old he'd met. "You did the right thing. I always suspected there was something off about him, but without you I'd never have been able to prove it."

Byungjoo knew he had done the right thing, breaking Jiho and Hansol's hearts was better than letting someone play them. They'd get over it in time. 

"You wanna go get a drink or something? I could do with getting wasted before having to go home."

Taeyang faltered, flicking his cigarette butt on the floor before almost instantly lighting up another. "I don't drink." 

"Really?" Byungjoo thought all university students drank. He kind of thought that was the point of going to university, to get smashed. He was especially surprised that someone who smoked as much as Taeyang didn't drink. "Why not?"

"I just don't."

The tone of Taeyang's voice told Byungjoo to leave it at that and not ask any more questions. 

"Sanggyun still giving you trouble? Is that why you wanna get shitfaced?"

"Yeah, he's just..." Byungjoo sighed, repositioning his backpack on his shoulder, "He's such a dick."

Taeyang laughed under his breath, clearly agreeing. "Yeah. He is. You can stay at ours whenever, you know. I don't mind you staying in my room; our sofa isn't the most comfortable."

Ever since that first night he had spent in Jiho's bed Byungjoo had insisted on sleeping on the sofa. It felt weird sleeping in the same bed as a guy when his boyfriends were in the next room. 

"Thanks, man."


	3. Italy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is totally unbeta'd and i haven't even properly re-read it myself bc i'm tired haah soory if there's loads of typos and stuff oops

For his next year of university Byungjoo decided to move back home and live with his parents. There was no way he was living with Sanggyun again, and he didn't really have any friends at university. Plus, this was a lot cheaper. 

Despite that, he still spent a lot of time at Hansol's. He and the elder had gotten really close over the past few months, close enough that Byungjoo would even class Hansol as his best friend. It's not like he had one of those anymore, anyway. 

His parents, however, found it strange that he wanted to move back home and then spent so much time at his friend’s house. 

"Why didn't you just move in with him? I thought you missed us but I still never see you." His mother pouted, nudging her only child. 

"His place is full, plus he doesn't actually go to uni so I couldn't move into one of the cheaper student places with him."

"You should invite him over sometime." She smiled at her son, passing him another dish to dry. 

Byungjoo wasn't so sure that was a good idea, but he did it anyway after weeks of nagging from his mother. 

"Oh my god this is so exciting! I can't wait to have some actual home cooked food; we all suck in the kitchen. Well, Taeyang's not that bad but he has so much uni work he never has time to cook for me. I should really learn. Your Mom is a good cook, right? Mine was, I miss her food so much." Hansol rambled on as they walked from the tube station to Byungjoo's house. The blonde had gotten well and truly over Sanggyun and was back to his old, talkative self. "Aw your house is so cute, Joo!"

Byungjoo unlocked his front door, shouting to his mother to signal that they were home, who in turn shouted back that she was in the kitchen. Byungjoo's heart sank a little when he saw his father sat at the table. He was really hoping he'd still be at work. 

"Hey, so, this is Hansol." Byungjoo motioned to the blonde behind him. Hansol smiled brightly, bowing at his mother then his father. 

"Wow, so polite." His mother beamed, bowing back before slapping her son on the arm. "You could learn some manners from him, Byungjoo."

Hansol laughed quietly, brushing some stray blonde strands out of his eyes. "Sorry, I was brought up in Korea, it's just automatic."

"Don't apologise, it's nice to see someone adopting traditions." Byungjoo's father spoke up, eyeing his son. "Sit." The man smiled, motioning for him and Hansol to take a seat at the table. 

Hansol and his father conversed in Korean as his mother cooked, Byungjoo only understanding around 40% of it. He never really payed attention when his parents tried to teach him their mother tongue. It's not like he had any intention of ever going to Korea. 

"So, Hansol, Byungjoo tells me you don't study at university, what do you do instead?" His mother questioned, setting a bowl ramyun down infront of each of them. 

"I'm a makeup artist." The blonde beamed. Byungjoo glanced across at his father as the man's face fell. "I mainly work on photoshoots at the moment; I'm doing a couple of the smaller shows at fashion week soon too."

"Fashion week? You must get to meet a lot of pretty models that way, hmm?" Byungjoo inwardly rolled his eyes at what his father was getting at.  _'Bet there's not many male makeup artists, you must get your pick of all those pretty ladies.'_

Hansol laughed under his breath, taking a sip from his water as he recalled how he met Jiho. "You could say that." 

Byungjoo's heart rate steadied slightly as the evening went on. Things seemed to be going fine. This was fine. His parents seemed to like Hansol. How could they not? The blonde was charming and adorable. What's not to like?

Hansol's phone vibrated. 

"Oh, sorry, I really have to take this. My boyfriend had an exam today that he's been stressing about all week."

Hansol stood up from the table, answering his phone with a _'hi, Bunny!'_ as he went into the other room. 

Byungjoo's grip tightened around his chopsticks as his father's jaw dropped. 

"Boyfriend? Again, Byungjoo? Really?" 

"Dad, it's not a big deal, really."

"How?" His father hissed, leaning across the table. "How do you keep making friends with these people?"

His mother placed a calming hand over her husband's shoulder, reminding them that they have company and he shouldn't make a scene. He brushed it off, about to say something else as Hansol re-entered the room. 

"Hey, so, thank you for the food; it was really nice, seriously. And it was super nice meeting you too, but I really need to go." He turned to Byungjoo, too flustered to pick up on the atmosphere between him and his parents. "Thanks for having me over, but Tae's about to have a meltdown so...I'll see you later, yeah?"

Byungjoo's heart wrenched at how glassy Hansol's eyes were. "Is he okay?"

Hansol nodded, biting down on his bottom lip as he tried to hold back the tears. "Yeah...yeah he'll be fine; I'll make sure he is." Hansol turned back to his parents again, apologising in Korean and bowing before he turned to leave. 

Byungjoo's eyes stayed fixed on the door, wishing he had went with Hansol to check on Taeyang, not that it was really his place. 

"You have some explaining to do, Byungjoo."

He was getting really sick of this. The same thing had happened when Sanggyun came out. Even though they had been friends since they were six, his parents couldn't understand how he had managed to be best friends with the only gay kid in their class. 

"Yeah, he's gay, so what?"

"So what? So, we don't want you hanging out with people like that."

He exhaled deeply; he hated how conservative his parents were. He really couldn't care less if someone was gay or not. It made absolutely no difference to him. 

"Your father is right, Byungjoo, you shouldn't be around people like that."

"You loved him until you found out." He retorted, staring at his mother. All night she had been gushing over Hansol, complimenting his Korean, asking him to do her makeup. 

"We just don't want him influencing you."

Byungjoo scoffed. "He's not going to turn me gay, Mum, that's not how it works. I like girls, don't worry."

"Then how do you keep making friends with all these queers?" He flinched at the word; it was something he got called daily at school. "Everyone already assumes you're gay, Byungjoo, are you sure you aren't?"

"No. I'm not." He slammed his fist down on the table. He had absolutely no problem with people being gay, but people thinking  _he_  was gay, was a completely different story. Because he wasn't. "Don't say that."

"You better not be, cause I don't want any son of mine being a fucking faggot."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo paid no attention to his parents; he wasn't going to let them get in the way of his and Hansol's friendship. He could be friends with whoever he wanted, their sexuality wasn't important to him. 

It wasn't important to him, but it seemed to matter to other people. 

"Hey, Byungjoo." 

He groaned internally as Sanggyun sat down next to him. It had been almost a year since he had told Hansol what was going on. He just wanted to eat his Subway in peace.

"Look, I’m sorry for having a go at you for telling Jiho cause I thought you were sleeping with him and all that. I'm still annoyed you would rat your best friend of twelve years out but whatever."

Byungjoo faltered slightly. He never expected any kind of apology from Sanggyun. It was so unlike him. 

"You and Hansol are cute together though, I'm glad you've finally come to terms with it."

Byungjoo placed his sandwich back down, just centimetres from taking a bite. "Come to terms with what?"

"Your sexuality. It's taken you a while, but I'm glad."

"What are you talking about?"

Sanggyun tilted his head, strands of ombré hair falling over his face. "Aren't you and Hansol a couple?"

Byungjoo's eyes widened so much he was worried one of his contact lenses was about to fall out. 

"What would you think that?!" 

"Well you two spend so much time together. I see you around campus all the time. He's always hanging off you so I just assumed."

He groaned again. This time aloud. He was so sick of people assuming shit about him. Especially that. He didn't know how many times he had to say _'I'm not gay' b_ efore people would actually believe it. He should just get  _'hetero'_ tattooed on his head or something. 

"Well, you're wrong. You've known me most of your life, Sanggyun. I'm still straight." Byungjoo deadpanned. He was getting really tired of this. 

"Oh..." The younger trailed off. He was so sure that they were an item, that Byungjoo had finally come to terms with his sexual identity. He wasn't lying when he said he was happy for his ex-best friend, he knew first-hand how hard it was living in denial and having to hide your true self from the world. 

Byungjoo couldn't have thought of a worse time for Hansol to come and join him, he had actually forgotten he told the elder to meet him here. 

"Joo! Did you order without me? You're the worst." Hansol pouted as he sat down next to the brunette. Byungjoo winced slightly as he noticed how close he got. 

His expression turned sour as he realised Sanggyun was there. He couldn't remember the last time he saw the younger. It was just after Jiho took all of his stuff back. Sanggyun had shown up at their apartment demanding it all back. Hansol vividly remembered how upset Jiho was and having to physically hold Taeyang back from knocking the long-haired boy out. He still hated Sanggyun for what he had done to his boyfriend. 

"Well I guess I better be going, you two have fun." Hansol missed the subtle wink Sanggyun sent Byungjoo's way as he stood to leave; he was too busy ignoring the younger. Byungjoo didn't miss it though, silently glowering, fingers digging into the bread of his sandwich. 

"Are you and him friends again?" Hansol questioned, not even sure if Sanggyun had left the store yet. He didn't really care. 

"No, he just sat down and talked to me." Byungjoo replied, Sanggyun's words still floating around his mind. Did people really think he and Hansol were together? 

"God, I fucking hate him." It was rare that Hansol said that about anyone, but Sanggyun was something else. He still couldn't believe anyone would do that to Jiho. In fact, he couldn't believe anyone would do that at all, but Jiho was one of the sweetest people he knew. The fact that someone tried to take advantage of his boyfriend still knocked him sick. 

But Sanggyun was gone now. Thanks to Byungjoo he was out of Jiho's life. He couldn't ruin anything for them. He switched back to his usual sunny self. "Where do you wanna go after this, then?"

Byungjoo flinched as Hansol placed his hand on the younger's forearm. Hansol was always so touchy with him. Always wrapped around Byungjoo’s arm as they walked. Always carding his fingers through Byungjoo’s dark hair. Always sitting as close to him as physically possible. 

"Can you stop touching me?"

Hansol blinked. Not understanding why Byungjoo seemed so mad. 

"What?"

The younger sharply pulled his arm away from Hansol’s grasp. 

"Stop touching me." His voice was stern, wanting to get through to Hansol. He knew the elder was a naturally touchy person. He knew that's the way he acted with his boyfriends. But Byungjoo wasn't his boyfriend. 

"Oh...sorry. I don't realise I'm doing it sometimes." Hansol faltered. No one had ever gotten mad at him for skinship before. Most people enjoyed it, found it endearing. 

He didn't know why Byungjoo was suddenly so against it. He had known the brunette for almost a year, he had never commented on Hansol getting too close before. 

Byungjoo wasn't even looking at him, eyes trained on the sandwich he hadn't taken a bite out of for a good ten minutes. 

"Joo, are you okay?"

"No." He spat out because he wasn't okay. He knew how many rumours were going around about him on campus and he was sick of it. He was sick of people assuming things of him. He was sick of being called a faggot or whatever when he wasn't even gay. He was sick of not being able to be friends with someone without everyone making out like they were fucking. "Everyone thinks we're together."

Hansol blinked again, not sure what to do with his hands now Byungjoo wouldn't let the elder touch him. That seemed like a gross over exaggeration. He was pretty sure most people couldn't give a shit what he and Byungjoo were to each other. "Everyone?"

"Yes. Everyone thinks I'm gay Hansol. I'm not."

Hansol really didn't understand where this was coming from. He knew Byungjoo liked girls. Why did he care so much about what other people thought? And what was so bad about being gay, anyway?

"Okay...bu-"

"I just don't want you touching me so much anymore. People keep assuming things about us and I'm sick of it."

Hansol’s heart clenched slightly as Byungjoo stood, a disgusted expression on his features, leaving his sandwich on the table as he made it clear he was leaving. Byungjoo hadn't even looked at him once since he sat down next to the brunette. Why was he treating Hansol like some kind of leper? He was well aware of Hansol’s sexuality. It's not like it was something the elder hid. The reason Byungjoo had met him was because of his boyfriends for god's sake. Why was he suddenly acting like he was so repulsed by Hansol’s sexual orientation? By being associated with a gay guy?

"Joo..." He looked up but Byungjoo was already gone. He had left Hansol on his own. He hated being left alone. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn't even sure why. He thought Byungjoo was his friend; the two of them had gotten pretty close recently, spent a lot of time together. But apparently Byungjoo just wasn't okay with who he was. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol didn't hear from Byungjoo for a few days. The younger clearly wanted to cut him out. Clearly wasn't okay with having a gay friend. He found it weird considering he was friends with Sanggyun for so long. But Sanggyun didn't come across as stereotypically gay in the way Hansol did. Maybe that was it. 

He scrolled through some webpage on his phone as Taeyang's fingers massaged into his scalp. 

"You okay, doll?"

Hansol nodded his head gently against Taeyang's chest. He didn't know why he bothered. The elder knew fine well he was lying. 

"What's up?"

"I don't think Byungjoo wants to be my friend anymore."

Taeyang tilted his head slightly despite knowing Hansol wouldn't see it from his position on Taeyang's bed. He thought the two of them were close. They spent quite a bit of time together. He was pretty sure Byungjoo was the reason Jiho and Hansol got over Sanggyun so quickly. 

"Why wouldn't he want to be your friend, baby?" 

"Because I'm gay." 

Taeyang gaped. What was Hansol talking about? Surely Byungjoo wasn't homophobic. He came over here all the time; he knew fine well the three of them were interested in boys. Why would Hansol suddenly think Byungjoo was so against their sexuality? 

"He thinks everyone thinks we're together cause we're so close and stuff. You should have seen his face, Tae. It was like he was disgusted at the idea. He told me to stop touching him."

Taeyang sighed, the arm that was carding through his boyfriend’s hair wrapping around the younger's shoulders. Hansol was an overly-touchy person. He loved human contact. Taeyang could see how that was too much for most people; it was too much for him at first. But that's just how Hansol was. He knew how much it calmed the younger, kept his anxiety at bay. 

He slid further down his bed so he was laid on his back, Hansol hovering over him as he rose up slightly so accommodate his boyfriend's movements. Taeyang was crazy about Hansol. He'd do anything to keep the younger happy, and usually it wasn't difficult. Hansol was the most optimistic person he had ever met. 

But he knew how much certain things affected him. Especially when it came to friendships. And he wasn't prepared to allow Byungjoo to hinder Hansol’s happiness. 

"Forget about him, just for now." He tucked some of Hansol’s hair behind his ear as his fingers ghosted over the younger's rounded cheeks. He knew Hansol wouldn't, but he wanted him to put Byungjoo out of his mind, even just for a bit. 

He looped his arms around the back of Hansol’s neck, pulling the younger down on top of him and into a deep kiss. He wanted Hansol to focus on him, on how much Taeyang loved him. Not on Byungjoo. He wanted Hansol to focus on his lips, on his touch, on how much Taeyang cared about him. Not on someone that was treating him like shit because he was scared of being called gay. 

"I love you so much, Hansollie." He breathed out against Hansol’s plush lips as they parted. 

"I love you too, Bunny." He giggled softly as Taeyang scrunched his nose up at the nickname. He knew Taeyang wasn't just saying it to take his mind off what was happening between him and Byungjoo. He knew that Taeyang genuinely did love him. 

He leaned back in to kiss his boyfriend. Their kisses were always so soft, their touches light. It was rare that he and Taeyang went any further than kissing. It wasn't like they weren't attracted to one another; he thought Taeyang was absolutely gorgeous; sex just wasn't a big part of their relationship. It didn't have to be. 

But right now, he just wanted Taeyang. He wanted to lose himself in the elder. Completely forget about anything else. 

"Make me feel better, Taeyanggie."

His fingers travelled south over the elders clothed torso, halting as they came to a sliver of exposed skin just above Taeyang's boxers. He smiled softly at the way Taeyang's breath hitched, the way the blonde's hips rose ever so slightly to meet Hansol's touch, silently asking for more. 

Taeyang's expression switched from a serene smile to a playful smirk. 

"What do you want to do to me, baby?"

Hansol's cock twitched from those words alone. When he and Jiho slept together, the younger was usually the dominant one. They experimented, but Hansol loved having Jiho's dick inside him. 

Taeyang was different. For someone so feisty and headstrong, Taeyang was surprisingly submissive. He loved when someone took control of him in bed; did whatever they wanted to him, made him scream. And Hansol loved being the one to make him scream. He loved that Taeyang managed to unleash something different in him. 

Taeyang leaned in close to Hansol's ear; breath hot on the younger's skin as he whispered. "I'm still prepped from when Jiho fucked me this morning."

Hansol lunged back down onto Taeyang's lips. The way the elder spoke always got him going. It was times like this when he wondered why the two of them didn't sleep together more often. 

Taeyang whined into his mouth as Hansol's hands delved into the other blonde's underwear, fingers wrapping around Taeyang's rapidly hardening cock. 

"Hansollie," Hansol smirked against Taeyang's lips as the elder gasped out his name, "fuck me."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol groaned as the doorbell rang. He had Taeyang in his arms and didn't want to let go. He quite liked it when it was just the two of them. Even though Jiho was the one he fell for first, and he missed the younger terribly when he had to work away, he took solace in the fact he got to spend some one-on-one time with Taeyang.

The doorbell went off again and Hansol groaned even louder. He wished whoever it was would just fuck off. Jiho was in Paris for the week, so he knew it wasn't him. There wasn't anyone else he cared enough about to disrupt having Taeyang all to himself just to open a door.

"I'll go."

Hansol whined Taeyang's name as the elder wriggled out of his arms to pull some sweatpants on. He pulled the duvet tight around himself to try and make up for the warmth Taeyang took with him. 

"I'm coming! Jesus." Taeyang padded to the door, whoever was out there was fucking persistent. 

"Byungjoo?"

"Uh...h-hey Taeyang." Byungjoo wrung his hands together. He had really hoped Taeyang would have been out; there was something about the elder that still intimated him, after seeing how he reacted to the whole Sanggyun situation. And especially considering Hansol would have told the blonde about what happened between them. "Is Hansol in?"

"He is." Taeyang noticed the way Byungjoo's eyes scanned over his bare torso, stopping on a selection dark purple marks around Taeyang's collarbones. He knew Jiho was away at the minute, so Hansol must have been the one to do it. And judging by how messed up Taeyang's hair was he figured the marks must be pretty fresh. He didn't know why that made him feel weird; he knew fine well Taeyang and Hansol were together. "But you're not seeing him."

Byungjoo opened his mouth to speak, but the way Taeyang's eyes fixed on him made him think better of it.

"You're not coming in here if you have a problem with our sexuality, Byungjoo. I don't have time for homophobes."

"I'm not homophobic."

"Really?" Taeyang quirked an eyebrow. "He thinks you're disgusted by him."

"I'm not, Tae, I-" Byungjoo took a deep breath. He knew he over reacted the other day. He wasn't disgusted by Hansol, at all. He was just really, really sick of people making assumptions about him. "Sanggyun got in my head, okay? Can I just see him? I need to apologise."

"Baby, who is i-" Hansol appeared behind Taeyang, eyes falling on the brunette at their door, "Oh, hey, Byungjoo."

Taeyang's fingers tangled with Hansol's, knowing even the slightest bit of skinship would make the other blonde feel better. 

"Can we talk?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Hansol squeezed Taeyang's fingers, letting the elder know he was okay. Taeyang shot one last glare Byungjoo's way as he retreated back to his room.

Hansol stepped aside to let the brunette in, ushering him into their living room. 

"Look, Hansol," Byungjoo took a deep breath as he tentatively sat down on their worn sofa, gaze fixed on his hands. "I'm sorry about the other day. Sanggyun was just being a dick as per usual and it really got to me. I took it out on you and I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry." 

Hansol's heart clenched a little; he couldn't stay mad at Byungjoo. But he also couldn't get the look of sheer disgust on his face out of his mind. 

"It's okay...just; do you have a problem with me being gay? Because we really can't be friends if you do, Byungjoo."

Byungjoo's eyes widened, meeting Hansol’s. "No! Of course I don't, Hansol. It makes no difference to me whatsoever." He hated the way he had acted that day. "I'm just so sick of everyone assuming that I am. It's something I was bullied for in high school. I don't see why it's so difficult for everyone to see that I like girls. I've had people trying to force me to come out my entire life; but there's nothing to come out of. I'm not gay. When Sanggyun said he thought that we were together it just hit a nerve. You're like my best friend and I don't see why is so hard for people to understand that a straight guy and a gay guy can be best friends without anything else going on." 

Hansol knew this was something that bothered Byungjoo; they had spoken about it before. 

"Hansol, I don't have a problem with people thinking I'm gay because I think being gay is a bad thing. It's just so annoying having to constantly repeat myself. Having people spread rumours about me just because of how I act or who I'm friends with. It's so fucking draining."

Hansol reached across to take Byungjoo's hand in his own, a way of comforting the brunette. He stopped just short of Byungjoo's fingers, fearing the younger would shy away from his touch again. 

"You can touch me Hansol, I really don't mind it. I was just overreacting." He splayed out his fingers, offering his palm up to Hansol, hoping the elder would accept the inviting to hold his hand. "I actually kind of like it when you hang off me when we walk." 

Hansol felt his cheeks heat up a little, he wasn't even sure why. He figured it was to do with the fact that he had gotten his friend back; that Byungjoo wasn't disgusted by him or his skinship. 

"So, are we okay?"

Hansol raised his eyes from their intertwined fingers to meet Byungjoo's. He broke out into a wide grin as the younger stared back at him. "Of course we are." He was pretty sure Taeyang would be mad at him for letting Byungjoo back in so easily, but he couldn't hold a grudge like the elder could. Especially not when it came to Byungjoo. 

The two of them settled into a comfortable conversation, as if nothing had ever happened. Hansol was more than happy to gloss over the situation, it was nothing more than a misunderstanding, and he wasn't prepared to let it ruin his relationship with his best friend. Was Byungjoo his best friend? The younger seemed to refer to Hansol as such, so he figured he must be. He was closer to Byungjoo than he was anyone he worked with, so he didn't see why Byungjoo wouldn't be his best friend. 

His face heated up again as he realised his hand was still clasped tightly in Byungjoo's as the brunette talked. Hansol wasn't sure about what, he had gotten distracted by the sensation of the younger's skin on his. 

But why? They were just friends. Byungjoo was just his best friend. 

So why was his heart racing? Why were his cheeks flushed a deep pink? Why couldn't he stop staring at Byungjoo's lips? 

"Hey, do you wanna stay over tonight?" He blurted that out without thinking. Why did he blurt that out without thinking? 

Byungjoo tilted his head as Hansol interrupted him mid-sentence. 

"I'm not sure Taeyang would be too happy with that." Hansol may have forgiven him, but he was pretty sure Taeyang wouldn't have. The elder was overly-protective of his boyfriends' and there was no way he'd let Byungjoo off that easily. 

Hansol scoffed. "He's not my keeper, Joo, I have a mind of my own, you know. Plus, he's got an essay to hand in tomorrow so he's gonna be at the library all night."

He was just going to tag along with Taeyang to avoid being alone, but this seemed like a much better idea. 

"Please, Joo?" He whined, dramatically falling against the back of the sofa. "Are you seriously gonna leave me on my own all night long?"

Byungjoo sighed. He had missed this, Hansol being so clingy. He felt like something was missing over the few days he hadn't seen the elder, this was probably it. 

"Okay, fine. But," he rolled his eyes at how excited Hansol got, "I'm picking what we watch. There's  _no way_  you're making me watch Dirty Dancing again." 

Hansol pouted. That was his favourite movie of all time. He figured he could sacrifice that if it meant Byungjoo would stay, though. 

"Okay. But," he paused, mimicking Byungjoo, "we're getting sushi cause I  _seriously_  need to lose some weight."

Byungjoo's jaw hung open, dumbfounded. "Are you for real?" Hansol felt his cheeks heat back up as Byungjoo looked him up and down. "Hansol, you have nothing to lose. You look great."

"R-really?" 

"Yes. I mean, if you want sushi we can get it, but you have a great body."

Hansol flushed a shade of crimson, heart rate rising. Surely Byungjoo was just saying that to make him feel better, right? Because that's what friends do? He didn't actually like Hansol's body like that. Right? 

Hansol had always been sensitive about his weight. It usually went straight to his face, even gaining a couple of pounds would make his cheeks look chubbier and he hated it. He felt like he was constantly on fad diets and ridiculous training regimes to try and slim down, but they never seemed to work. Even if he lost weight he still never felt like he looked any thinner. Jiho and Taeyang would always assure him that he looked fine, or that in fact that he had noticeably lost weight and maybe he was going too far, but they were meant to make him feel better about himself, they were his boyfriend's. Byungjoo wasn't, though, he didn't  _have_  to say that. It almost meant more coming from him. 

"So, what do you want? Sushi or pizza?"

Hansol blinked, snapping out of his trance, smiling softly. 

"Whatever you want, I don't mind."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol never woke up early unless he had to, but this morning was an exception. He had barely even slept. Maybe inviting Byungjoo to stay over wasn't such a great idea after all. 

The younger was fast asleep, curled into Hansol's side, arm wrapped loosely around his waist. He was happy that Byungjoo was way more comfortable with him now, that he could actually share a bed with his friend, but this was too much. 

His heart was beating so heavily against his ribcage that he was surprised it hadn't woke Byungjoo up. All he could hear was a thumping pulsing through his body, ears ringing. He knew his face was bright red again, he honestly couldn't believe Byungjoo hadn't picked up on it the night before, he felt like he spent most of his time a less than attractive shade of beetroot. 

He glanced down at Byungjoo. He looked so serene; it was a stark contrast to the noisy ball of energy he was used to. Chocolate strands of hair fell over his forehead. He leaned in a little closer. Byungjoo had really long eyelashes; he had never noticed that before. He had the cutest little button nose, too. And his lips... They were so pink and plush. He briefly wondered what they tasted like. Probably cherries. Byungjoo always used cherry flavoured chapstick. 

"God, he's so cute." Hansol bit down on his bottom lip as Byungjoo nuzzled further into his t-shirt. He hadn't meant to say that aloud. 

He inwardly groaned, not wanting to make any more noise and risk waking the brunette up. 

Where was this coming from? Why was all the blood rushing to his face whenever he thought of Byungjoo all of a sudden? Why did he feel so nervous around his best friend? That's all they were. Best friends. 

He felt an overwhelming feeling of deja vu sweep over him. This felt an awful lot like when he began to fall for Jiho, for someone he couldn't have. 

Fall for? 

Was he really falling for Byungjoo? 

 _Fuck_. 

No. he couldn't be. Byungjoo doesn't like boys. He doesn't even like people implying he and Hansol are an item. How would he react to Hansol falling for him? 

He flinched as something metallic vibrated, too wrapped up in his thoughts to fully register what it was until Byungjoo was reaching over to the bedside table for his phone. 

"Hnn...hello?" The brunette groaned, flopping back down onto Hansol's chest, still half asleep. He hated being woken up by unknown callers. 

Hansol furrowed his eyebrows as Byungjoo's breath seemed to hitch, the younger sitting bolt upright, eyes wide.  _Oh god, what if something awful had happened?_

"Are you serious?!"

Hansol felt his stomach knot. He couldn't pick up on Byungjoo's tone. Couldn't read his best friends expression. He figured it was something huge, but he couldn't tell if it was good or bad. 

"Oh my god! Y-yeah I can leave next week."

 _Leave?_ Byungjoo was leaving? 

At this point Hansol zoned out, Byungjoo's voice replaced by a static white noise. Why was Byungjoo leaving? Leaving what? School? His job? The country? He  _really_  didn't like being left behind. 

His eyes settled back on Byungjoo's lips. The brunette was still talking to whoever was on the other end of the line, but he had no idea what he was saying. He couldn't concentrate. 

If there was one thing Hansol hated, it was people leaving him. To say he had abandonment issues would be an understatement. He could barely even cope with Jiho working away for a few days without getting extra clingy with Taeyang. Why did Byungjoo have to leave now too? He had just gotten him back. He was...he was falling for him. 

"Hansol?" He ripped his eyes away from Byungjoo's lips; the younger was staring back at him amusedly. "Are you listening?"

Hansol blinked. He wasn't. He had no idea what Byungjoo was talking about. He hadn't even realised the brunette wasn't on the phone anymore, that he was talking directly to Hansol. He shook his head, forcing himself to snap out of it. He was overreacting. He didn't even know what Byungjoo meant by leaving next week. It could be nothing. 

Byungjoo laughed softly, rolling his eyes. "You know how I applied to study in Italy for a bit?"

Hansol nodded, recalling how nervous Byungjoo had been filling in the application form. Hansol had to force him to submit it after he tried to back out, like, three times. 

"Well, I got accepted. I'm going to Rome for six months."

Hansol's heart dropped. Six months? What was he going to do for six months without Byungjoo? He barely survived four days. And that was before he realised these... _feelings_. 

He swallowed thickly, this sounded like hell. But Byungjoo looked so excited. He had been dying to study abroad. He couldn't ruin this for him. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe he could get over this crush, because that's all it was, surely, if Byungjoo wasn't around all the time. If Hansol couldn't feel how soft his skin was and how good he smells and that laugh that never failed to cheer him up an-

"Hansol?"

His cheeks were pink again. He knew it. 

Hansol beamed brightly, throwing his arms around Byungjoo's shoulders. "That's so great! I'm so proud of you, Joo!"

He prayed to god that Byungjoo couldn't feel his racing heart as the younger reciprocated the hug. 

"You better Skype me and stuff, I'm gonna miss you." Hansol pouted, finger pressing into Byungjoo's chest. "And you better take loads of pictures; Jiho says Italy is really beautiful."

Byungjoo laughed against Hansol, the elder practically in his lap as he made a list of demands for Byungjoo to abide by while he was away. It had only been a few days, but he really missed this. He missed the blonde being constantly wrapped around him. He missed his cackle. He missed how warm he made Byungjoo feel. He missed Hansol. 

"We should go out for food to celebrate!"

"What, like a date?" Byungjoo snorted. 

_Fuck._

Why the fuck did he say that?

He felt Hansol physically tense up in his arms as soon as the d-word left his lips. 

He had literally just avoided his best friend for four days because someone assumed they were in a relationship, then he goes and says something like that.  _Good going, Byungjoo, he's going to think you're taking the piss._

This time, Byungjoo noticed the rose pink dusting Hansol's cheeks. He inwardly cursed himself as his face decided to play along. Why was he blushing because of Hansol? 

"I, uh, yeah, food sounds good." He just about manged to stutter out, trying to make the situation less awkward. It didn't seem to work though as Hansol vacantly stared back at him, still half way into Byungjoo's lap. He had been doing that a lot lately. Just staring. Zoning out. 

"Hansol?" He felt like he had to snap the elder out of these trances more often than ever recently. Hansol had always been a little spacey, his mind was constantly going, but he was usually pretty perceptive. Byungjoo wondered what had gotten into him. 

Hansol's eyes seemed to refocus, the blonde clearing his throat as he shifted out of Byungjoo's hold, avoiding the younger's gaze. 

"Yeah...uh...come on, I'm paying."


	4. Kitten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some long awaited xesol smut as hansol pines for joo while he's in italia!!

Hansol  _hated_  being left behind. He hated whenever Jiho had to go work away. He hated when Taeyang had to stay at the library all night and study. And he hated that Byungjoo had been in Italy for an entire three months. 

He could barely sleep. He wasn't sure why. Maybe because Byungjoo was hardly replying to his texts anymore. Maybe he had gotten bored of Hansol. Maybe being away for so long he had realised that he didn't want to be friends with the makeup artist. 

For the first couple of months it was fine, they would text or Skype almost every day. Hansol would get butterflies every time he saw Byungjoo on his laptop screen. He couldn't stop grinning as the younger rambled on about how much fun he was having. Hansol could barely get a word in edgeways, which was rare for him, he hadn't even gotten the chance to tell Byungjoo about Hojoon, and he was  _desperate_  to talk to someone about how cute Jiho and the dancer would be together. 

But then it all seemed to stop. Maybe Byungjoo just didn't miss Hansol as much as Hansol missed him. Whatever the reason was, it was killing him. 

He heard a faint alarm go off in the next room, followed by two loud groans. He checked his phone, 6:30am. He had almost forgotten that Taeyang had an early class on Tuesdays. Maybe he should get up and make his boyfriend something to eat before he left. Taeyang would probably forget and just have a cigarette instead. 

His train of thought was interrupted as Jiho pushed his door open, flopping down beside him. It had been a couple of months since Hansol had dyed Jiho's hair red, but he absolutely loved it. He was pretty sure his boyfriend could pull off any colour. 

"What you doing awake, Kitten?"

"Can't sleep." 

"Me either." Jiho stretched his arm out, inviting the elder to snuggle into him, which Hansol did without any hesitation. 

"Are you worried about Hojoonie?"

Jiho nodded. It was the first night of Hojoon's new job. He knew the dancer would be safe at this new club; he had gone and personally checked it out himself to make sure. The manager seemed like a pretty good guy.

"He'll be okay, Peaches." Jiho laughed lowly at the pet name, it was so rare that Hansol called him it. "He would have rang you straight away if not."

"Yeah." Jiho breathed out against Hansol's bleached locks. He was sure Hojoon was fine, but after everything that had happened to the small blonde, he couldn't help but worry. 

"You really like him, huh?" Hansol smiled. He could tell a mile off when Jiho had fallen for someone. He could tell with Sanggyun and now he could tell with Hojoon. The redhead was well and truly besotted with the elder. 

Jiho nodded again, smiling into Hansol's hair. It had only been around two months since he had met the dancer, but he couldn't get him out of his head. 

"What about you? What are you worrying about?"

Hansol stayed quiet. Because, actually, he wasn't sure. 

"Hansollie?" Jiho pushed, arms wrapping around the elder so he could rock him gently. He knew something was up; Hansol was usually a pretty heavy sleeper. 

"I think..." He took a deep breath, not even sure if he was ready to admit it to himself, never mind Jiho. "I think I like Byungjoo. More than a friend."

"Oh?" Jiho raised his eyebrows. He actually hadn't expected that. 

Hansol groaned into his pillow. It seemed so much more real now he had told Jiho. "Yeah...I can't stop thinking about him. I'm hoping it's just because he's away and I miss him. But I think it's more than that."

"You two would be cute together." Jiho smiled, pecking his boyfriend on the forehead. He could really see Hansol and Byungjoo as a couple. They almost acted like one anyway. 

"Except he's painfully straight."

Jiho blinked. He had actually forgotten about that. "Oh, yeah."

Hansol groaned again. This was useless. He was pining over his best friend. His straight best friend. His straight best friend who was in Italy and ignoring his texts. 

"How do you do it, Jiji?" He fiddled with the hem of Jiho's t-shirt, a little worried that this might be a sensitive issue for the redhead. "How can you be so close with Hojoon knowing that he doesn't like you back in that way? He sleeps in your bed every night. You sleep  _with_  him. Doesn't it hurt knowing he doesn't feel the same as you do?"

Jiho was silent for a couple of seconds. Hansol swallowed thickly; worried he had upset his boyfriend. 

"I guess, as long as he's happy, I'm happy. He's been through so much that to be honest; him loving me back is the least of my concerns. I just want him to be safe and happy. Whether that's with me or not makes no difference."

Hansol had no idea how Jiho could do that. How anyone could be so selfless. Having sex and waking up with Byungjoo every morning without the younger liking him back would kill him. Even Byungjoo not replying to his texts was killing him. 

"You're so amazing, Jiho. You two will end up together some day, I know you will. It's pretty impossible not to fall for you." 

He leaned forwards capturing Jiho's lips in his own. Even after three years he had no idea how anyone could have as much love to give as Jiho. He was pretty sure the younger could have thirty boyfriends and he wouldn't feel any less loved by the model. 

Jiho tilted his head, gently sucking on Hansol's bottom lip. It felt like ages since they had properly spent any time together with Hojoon occupying most of his time. He was worried that Hansol and Taeyang felt like he didn't have time for them anymore, that Hojoon was more important to him, no matter how many times they said that wasn't the case. 

They pulled apart, lips still barely grazing one another's as Hansol gazed deep into Jiho's dark eyes. This was the kind of love he had always fantasised about when he was younger. The kind of love he had hoped was real. He couldn't be happier to find out that it was, and that he had it with not only one but two amazing boys. 

He was pretty sure he could get over this Byungjoo thing. He had Taeyang and Jiho, did he really need another boyfriend? Did he really need someone else that wasn’t even interested in guys? Why should he bother wasting his time pining over Byungjoo when he could spend that time with the two people that love him more than anything? He and Byungjoo were friends, best friends. He needed a best friend more than a boyfriend and there was no point in ruining their friendship over a stupid crush. He would just have to get over it. 

"Make me forget about him, baby." He smirked, fingers creeping under Jiho's shirt, tugging at the waistband of his boxers. 

Jiho latched back onto Hansol's bottom lip, moaning lowly as the elders fingers wrapped around his cock. God he missed this. It had been so long since he and Hansol had been together. 

Hansol revelled in the soft gasps and whines of his name that came from the younger as he worked Jiho's cock to full hardness. In the way Jiho threw his head back, arched his spine  

But Jiho soon grew impatient. Sure, Hansol was great with his hands, but he was meant to be helping his boyfriend out, helping him take his mind off Byungjoo. 

"Spread your legs for me, Kitten."

Hansol obeyed, whimpering softly as Jiho pulled his boxers down to reveal his pert ass. He watched through hooded lids as Jiho reached across to the bedside table to fetch a bottle of lube he knew would be in there. 

"Jiho, wait."

Hansol wanted Jiho, but he wanted more than that, he really needed to lose himself in the redhead,  _really_  forget about Byungjoo. 

"I wanna play."

Jiho tilted his head. 

"Really?"

He hadn't expected that. He figured Hansol would have wanted rough but intimate sex, something where he could stare deep into Jiho's eyes and really think about how much the younger loved him. Especially considering how long it had been since they slept together. 

"Yeah...just, do whatever you want to me." Hansol's voice didn't even waver. He really wanted this. It was something Taeyang could never give him and he missed it  _so_  much. "I'll be good, I promise."

Something in Jiho's demeanour changed. He sat upright, a cocky smirk gracing his lips, eyes darkening. 

"Get ready then, Kitten. Your choice."

Jiho stood, turning to make his way over to Hansol's wardrobe, looking for something in particular. He didn't like watching his boyfriend get ready, he would much rather see the final product. His lips quirked up as he reached into the wardrobe, almost forgetting how many toys Hansol had. He was spoilt for choice. 

"Jiji?"

Jiho turned at the sound of his name, or at least, the name Hansol preferred calling him. His eyes scanned over the blonde, who was obediently sat on the bed, completely undressed, knees folded underneath him, hands in his lap. 

His eyes travelled up, smiling at the baby pink harness that clung to his boyfriend's body. It was merely decorative, indicating that Hansol didn't want to go to hard, it was only 7am after all, but it still turned Jiho on. He should have known the blonde would have gone for baby pink, he preferred it to the black Jiho would usually pick for him. It was cute, really. 

Next he took in the matching baby pink collar around Hansol's neck, tiny crystals set into the leather, a silver heart shaped nametag settling in between his collarbones. Hansol's favourite. There was nothing he loved more than seeing his boyfriend collared. Even though Hansol was with Taeyang too, he loved that Hansol belonged to him. He wasn't particularly possessive, how could he be in a relationship like theirs, but sometimes it was nice to act that way. 

"What do you think?" Hansol tilted his head, the catlike ears secured to his head tilting along with him. They matched his hair colour perfectly, a soft honey blonde, baby pink bows adorning each one. 

Before he met Hansol, Jiho had never imagined he would be into anything like this, but he still couldn't get over how gorgeous Hansol looked all dressed up. 

"Let me see you properly, Kitten." He knew there had to be more; Hansol always had some kind of trick up his sleeve. 

Hansol smirked, rising up on his knees only to reposition himself on all fours. He kept his eyes locked on Jiho's, a coy smile on his face as he turned his hips towards his boyfriend. 

Jiho suppressed a whimper at the sight. A honey blonde tail, exactly the same colour as the ears, hung between Hansol's legs, brushing up against his thighs. He smiled at how Hansol had attached a bow to the base, so it settled against his push asscheeks, almost as if it were a gift being offered up to him. Naturally, it was baby pink, Hansol wasn't happy unless everything matched perfectly. 

"You look amazing, Hansollie." Jiho took a step forwards, fingers ghosting the milky skin of Hansol's ass, the elder’s muscles contracting slightly under the delicate touch. "Something's missing, though."

Hansol bit down on his bottom lip as Jiho pulled a baby pink riding crop from behind his back. The leather panel at the end was shaped like a butterfly. Hansol's favourite. Jiho really knew how to spoil him. 

"Your skin is a little too perfect right now, baby. You want me to fix that for you?"

Jiho had always had a thing for marking his boyfriends. Honestly, he wondered just how extreme his possessive nature would be if he was in a monogamous relationship. He loved branding Taeyang and Hansol as his own, even if they didn't solely belong to him. They were still his. But Hansol would always let him take it a step further than Taeyang. Taeyang was more into bite marks littering his neck and collarbones, whereas Hansol preferred marks that would sting for hours to sit in places only his loved ones would be able to see. 

He arched his back, offering himself up for Jiho, offering the unmarred porcelain skin of his ass up to his boyfriend. He needed to forget about Byungjoo and he couldn't think of a better way to do that than Jiho reminding him who it was he really belonged to. 

"Jiji, please."

He barely had time to finish the pleading syllable before the crop came into contract with his skin, letting out a soft yelp as a stinging sensation rippled through him. 

Jiho always started him off softly at first, not wanting to push his boyfriend too hard, not until a little later, anyway. 

"Jii..." Hansol whined, wanting more. It wasn't enough for him. He needed to be marked. 

Jiho chuckled lowly. He  _loved_  seeing Hansol like this. All dressed up, on all fours, so willing. He trailed the leather over Hansol's buttocks, butterfly dancing against his skin as it twitched slightly in anticipation. 

"You're so cute, Kitten."

He pulled the leather butterfly back with his index finger, making the flexible stick of the crop bend towards him before letting go, the butterfly hitting Hansol's sensitive skin with much more force, causing a far harsher sting. 

Hansol suppressed a moan, not wanting to give Jiho the sweet sounds he knew the younger was so desperate to hear. Not until he had more. 

Jiho quirked an eyebrow, not that Hansol could see. "I thought you were going to be good, Kitten."

Hansol bit down on his bottom lip, wiggling his ass a little. Jiho should really know by now that was just something he said to get what he wanted. 

"I'll be good later, I swear." He whined, he would give Jiho what he wanted eventually, but this was supposed to be about him and take his mind off Byungjoo. "Take care of me first, Jiji."

Jiho hummed. He knew better than to give into Hansol when he was being a brat, but honestly, it had been so long since they had been together he was more than willing to let the elder call the shots for once. He wanted Hansol to get over this Byungjoo thing, even if it was just for a little while. 

He worried the leather butterfly with his finger again, drawing it back to ricochet against the blonde’s skin with a satisfying slap. He drew it back again, revelling in the stifled whimper that came from his boyfriend, desperate to hear more. 

Hansol's eyes rolled back in his head as Jiho littered his backside with butterfly shaped stings, not bothering to hold back his cries of pleasure now he was getting what he wanted. 

"Jiho, please- That feels so good." 

"Looks good too, baby." Jiho smiled to himself, admiring the kaleidoscope of butterflies in varying shades of pink that fluttered across his boyfriend’s skin. When he had bought Hansol this crop he didn't have much hope for it being anything more than decorative, but he was pleasantly surprised. 

"But I'm getting a little bored." Jiho took the tail that hung between Hansol's thighs in his hand, twirling the soft honey blonde around his fingers. He tugged lightly, making Hansol whimper as the butt plug it was connected to moved inside of him. He knew it wouldn't be long until Jiho wanted to ramp things up, his boyfriend loved to play the tease, but honestly he was far too impatient himself to keep it up for long. 

"Aaaah- Jiho!" Hansol cried out as Jiho tugged at the tail again, smirking to himself at the reaction it was getting him "Jiji, do you wanna fuck me?"

The throaty chuckle that came from behind him sent chills down his spine. 

"Is that even a question, Kitten?" He yelped as Jiho's hand fisted in his hair, tugging his head back. "Of course I want to fuck you." 

Hansol whimpered Jiho rived at his hair, back arching to try and alleviate some of the pulling. 

"Then take it out. Just- Just fuck me, Jiji. I want you in me."

Jiho smirked at the desperation in his boyfriend’s voice. It didn't usually take much for Hansol to go from the biggest brat he'd never met to a sobbing, begging mess. 

"But you look so cute." Hansol could hear the pout in the redhead’s voice as he continued to play with the tail with the hand that wasn't tugging at Hansol's hair. "You'd look cuter with my dick in your ass, though."  

Hansol swore under his breath, Jiho had always had a way with words; he couldn't count the number of times he had practically melted at something dirty Jiho had whispered to him. Usually in public. 

Jiho bit down on his bottom lip as he pulled the tail out of Hansol ever so slowly, his already hard cock twitching at the gasps that came from the elder. Hansol pushed his hips back, suddenly feeling empty and wanting something, preferably Jiho, to fill him as soon as possible. 

Jiho pulled himself out of his boxers, hissing slightly at the contact as he slicked himself up with spit after not having been touched for so long. 

"You ready, Kitten?" He lined himself up at Hansol's entrance, fingers of his free hand smearing spit over the already stretched hole, far to impatient to go get lube. He knew Hansol could take it. 

Hansol nodded feverishly, trying to turn to look at his boyfriend but the fist in his hair made it difficult. "Fuck me, Jiji, please."

Jiho smiled to himself. Honestly, nothing turned him on more than one of his boyfriends - or Hojoon, for that matter - asking, no, begging, to be fucked. The words always went straight to his cock, a heat pooling in his stomach in anticipation. 

He entered Hansol without any further warning, knocking the breath out of the blonde as he scrambled to adjust to having half his boyfriends cock in him out of nowhere with a strangled cry of his name.

Jiho didn't take long to pick up a rhythm, not being able to hold back and tease Hansol any longer. He just wanted him. He wanted to make Hansol scream. 

Which he did. 

Out of the three guys he was sleeping with, Hansol was by far the loudest, which was saying something considering Hojoon and Taeyang weren’t exactly quiet. But Hansol had a tendency to shout, scream and swear from start to finish, as if he was being murdered. It had worried their neighbours when the makeup artist had first started sleeping with Jiho, loud banging on their door at 2am as they came to check the two young boys who had just moved in next door weren't actually serial killers. 

"Oh my g- Jiho!" Hansol panted as the younger thrust in and out of him, his arms would have been giving away if it weren't for the tight grip on his hair which was sending painful shocks of electricity down his spine. 

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good." Jiho pushed all the way into Hansol, filling him to the hilt as he fucked him deeper. He let go of the blonde’s hair, causing him to fall forward onto the bed, arms unable to support his weight with Jiho pounding into him with such force. 

Hansol moaned loudly into the bed sheets fingers gripping into the soft cotton in an attempt to ground himself. His head was spinning, Jiho hadn't touched his cock once but he was pretty sure he was close. He knew he had to hold on just a little longer, though. There's no way Jiho would be done with him yet. 

The redhead hooked his fingers around Hansol's inner thighs, spreading the elder’s legs. He had always had a thing for Hansol's thighs; they were so thick and toned how could he not?

He absolutely loved sucking on Hansol's inner thighs, leaving a pattern of red marks on porcelain; he could do it for hours if Hansol didn't get so bratty and wriggly underneath him whenever he would attach himself to the sensitive skin. And honestly, they were by far his favourite pillow; he and Taeyang would always fight to be the first to nuzzle into Hansol's thighs when they watched a movie. He knew it came from years of dancing when he was younger, and he loved that Hansol was showing an interest in dance again since Hojoon came on the scene. Just the thought of Hansol wrapped around a pole like Hojoon was the first time he laid eyes on him drove him crazy. 

Hansol cried out at the new angle Jiho was fucking him at, cock pounding into that sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him. Over and over. It was relentless and Hansol could fell himself losing it. 

"Jiji! I'm so close, please!"

The new angle had him closer to the mattress, neglected cock rubbing up against the baby blue sheets of his bed. It was driving him crazy. Jiho was fucking into him so much harder with this new found leverage and he couldn't take much more. 

"Please, Jiho!"

Jiho bit down on his bottom lip, ignoring his boyfriends cries for release. Just a little more. He just needed a bit more to tip him over the edge. Hansol's screaming was definitely helping. He could just about make out the side of the blondes face, cheek pushed into the mattress as he gasped and moaned. He always looked so fucking good like this. Face flushed, eyes watering, ears pricked, collar leaving a red mark around his slight neck. 

"Okay, baby," he really couldn't deny Hansol orgasm any longer, not when this was meant to be about him, "come for me. Let me see you." 

Hansol didn't have to be told twice, giving in to the heat pooling in his stomach that he had been fighting, wanting to be good for Jiho after being a little brat earlier, but he has finally been given permission. And it felt  _so_  fucking good. 

He came with a cry of the younger's name, knuckles turning white as he gripped onto his bedsheets with all his might. 

Jiho followed not soon after, a couple of thrusts into Hansol as the blonde clamped down around him and he was gone, spilling into the elder as he all but collapsed onto Hansol's back. 

Hansol's legs gave way under Jiho's weight, the two of them breathing heavily in tandem. 

"Fuck."

That was all Hansol could say, repeating himself over and over. He had managed to forget all other English as he lay underneath the redhead, trying to come around from his climax. 

Jiho giggled, it was so different to the low chuckle he would use while teasing him. Hansol couldn't decide which laugh he liked better.

"We better get you cleaned up, sweetie." Jiho pushed himself off the bed and out of Hansol with a soft whine from the elder. He always hated that empty feeling afterwards. But Jiho would  _always_  make up for it by looking after him. 

He felt Jiho fiddling with the buckles of his harness, knowing Hansol wouldn't want to sleep in it and it was still early in the morning. 

"Roll over, Kitten." Hansol obeyed, eyes heavily lidded as he let Jiho take his ears off and clean him up, giggling to himself at the soft kisses the redhead peppered across random parts of his body. 

"Mmmm, Jiji." He hummed to himself as Jiho repositioned him so he was back under the covers. "I'm so glad I don't have work today." 

"Ugh, me too." Jiho slid in behind him, arms wrapping around his slim waist as he peppered even more kisses to the elders neck and cheeks. "How about we stay in bed all day?"

"That sounds perfect." He rolled over so he could catch Jiho’s lips in his own, sighing blissfully against his boyfriend skin as they kissed lazily, both too tired to take it any further after what they had just done. 

They didn't bother stopping when they heard the front door open, not until they heard Jiho’s door open and soft whispers of confusion coming from outside. 

"Hojoonie's home." Hansol smiled as he pulled back from the redhead. They were both desperate to see him after his first night at his new job. Hansol prayed that it had gone well. 

"Joon! We're in here!" 

A mop of white blonde hair popped around the door, smiling brightly as soon as he saw Jiho, the redhead’s arms outstretched inviting him to come join them. Hansol thought they were adorable. He knew Jiho and Hojoon were destined to end up together; the elder was just too stubborn to admit it. Or scared, maybe. 

"How was your first night at work, Princess?"

"It was good, actually." Hojoon sat himself down on the end of the bed, feeling a little awkward at the idea of encroaching on Jiho’s moment with his boyfriend, he knew that they hadn't spent much time together and he knew it was because of him. "Really good. Everyone there seems nice and no one even tried to touch me. So yeah, it was good."

"That's great!" Hansol was genuinely happy to hear that, the last thing he wanted was Hojoon being in a situation similar to last time. "Get in, we were just about to go back to sleep."

Hojoon watched as Hansol shuffled over slightly, Jiho following suit to give him space to slide in beside them. It still made him feel a little nauseous, the way they treated him, he wasn't used to it. But it made him smile too. 

"I- I don't want to disturb you guys, I'll just go sleep in Jiho’s room-"

"Get in!" Hansol whined, snuggling into Jiho as he reached across to pull the corner of the duvet back. There was no way he was letting Hojoon sleep alone. Especially not this morning. 

"I'd listen before he starts getting all bratty." Jiho smirked, recalling how Hansol was just a short while ago. 

Hojoon laughed softly to himself at the pout on the other blondes face. They were really cute. He still felt like an intruder, no matter how many times they told him he was more than welcome here. 

He took his jeans off before crawling in beside Jiho, the redhead automatically pulling him into a tight one armed hug. He sighed contentedly, head resting on Jiho’s chest as he let his eyes flutter shut. He'd be lying if he said he didn't love this. It was nice. So much better than when he used to stumble into his apartment after a night of being forced to sell himself. He felt like his life had done a complete 180 and it was all thanks to Jiho and his boyfriends. 

"Where's Taeyang?"

Jiho smiled to himself. He knew fine well Hojoon liked Taeyang the most, maybe even had a crush on the elder. 

"He's at school, I'll be back later."

Hojoon hummed against Jiho’s shirt, arm snaking around the younger's waist, brushing up against Hansol's bare skin on the other side of the bed. 

Bare skin? Wait. 

His eyes snapped open. 

"Were you two fucking before I got back?"

Hansol flushed. He didn't know why, it wasn't exactly a secret that he and Jiho were together, but he had honestly forgot that he was completely naked in bed with Hojoon right now. 

"I- We...uh."

Hojoon smirked. The other blonde was adorable, he would have loved to make him squirm even more but he was really tired from work and just wanted to sleep. Even if Jiho and Hansol had  _just_  had sex in this very bed. 

He scoffed. "I bet you made sweet, tender love. That's gross. Couples are gross."

Jiho laughed. He wouldn't exactly describe what he and Hansol had just done as sweet and tender. His boyfriend was collared and harnessed, cat ears rocking back and forth on his head as Jiho pounded into him. 

"Jiji!" Hansol hissed, smacking the younger on the chest. He wasn't quite ready to divulge his kinks to Hojoon yet. 

Jiho smiled at how flustered the blonde was getting, pressing a kiss to his forehead to reassure him playtime would be kept between the two of them, before pressing one to Hojoon's forehead. 

"Something like that, Princess."

Hansol breathed a sigh of relief as he settled down into Jiho’s side, arm overlapping with Hojoon's across the models waist. 

Hojoon sneered, faux-gagging a little at the thought before nestling back into Jiho’s chest to go to sleep. 

"Gross." 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon settled back into Jiho’s arms. This was...nice. It had been about four months since he met Jiho, almost three months since he had stayed over at his own place more than one night. He felt...wanted. Not in a purely sexual way, though that was nice too, Jiho was really good in bed, but it felt like the three of them really wanted him here. 

Maybe he could get used to this whole domestic thing...not that he wanted to be in a relationship or anything, of course not, he was in no way ready for anything like that, but living with people seemed nice. He should really try and push the whole paying rent thing but Jiho was so stubborn. 

"Bambi, this movie is so boring." Taeyang whined, head resting on Jiho’s shoulder. The younger had always had terrible taste in movies. 

"Shhh, it's cute." Hansol nuzzled his face into Hojoon's sweatshirt, practically lying in top of the dancer. Despite being the smallest he managed to take up the most room on their sofa, a sofa that was barely even big enough for the four of them. 

Hojoon smiled to himself, he didn't know when he got so desperate for human contact, for affection, but he really loved it when it was just the four of them, even when they were just lying around nothing and watching awful movies. 

"Taeyang's right, this movie sucks." He squirmed as Hansol nuzzled further into his sweatshirt, arms wrapping around the dancers waist. "Can't we watch a horror or something?"

"Jiho gets scared."

"I do not!" Jiho elbowed his brunette boyfriend in the ribs. "I just- I think they're stupid." 

"Awww, Jiho! That's so cute!" Hojoon turned in his arms the best he could despite Hansol being sprawled out on top of him. "Do you want me to hold your hand?"

Jiho huffed as his face heated up. It wasn't often that he flushed anymore, but Hojoon seemed to have this effect on him, the same one Taeyang did when he was younger. 

"I- I don- I-" He stuttered, pouting as the three of them laughed at him. Why was he living with three adorable boys that ganged up on him whenever they got the chance? He had to change the subject, that would save his reputation, especially when he was still trying to impress Hojoon. 

"Hey, Hansol, isn't Byungjoo coming home soon?" 

"Hm?" Hojoon felt the stylist tense up slightly on top of him. "Oh, uh, yeah, he gets back at the weekend, I think."

"Really? It's been six months already? You should invite him over."

Hansol hummed, not so sure about what Taeyang was suggesting. He was dying to see Byungjoo again, but his head was still a mess, he thought being away from the brunette would help him get over whatever this was, but it only made it worse. He thought about Byungjoo constantly, no matter how many times he tried to lose himself in his boyfriends, or in looking after Hojoon, he couldn't seem to get Byungjoo out of his mind. Honestly, he was nervous about seeing him. 

"Are you gonna tell him how you feel?"

He shook his head furiously against Hojoon's chest. There was no way he could do that. It would ruin everything. Byungjoo would want nothing to do with him if he knew Hansol had a crush on him, or was falling for him, whatever. Either way it would be a disaster. 

Hojoon noticed the way Hansol's fingers gripped into the soft material of his sweatshirt as Jiho and Taeyang asked him question after question about what he was going to do. 

"Regardless, we should definitely have him over sometime. I've actually missed him. Plus, he hasn't met Hojoonie."

Hojoon suppressed a scoff as jiho pressed a kiss to his temple. He had no interest in meeting Byungjoo, didn't need anyone else in his life. In  _their_  life. He knew they had known Byungjoo longer than they had known him, but surely he was closer to them now, right? No matter how much he fought it, he practically lived here and from what he had gathered this Byungjoo had never even been close to that. 

Something in his stomach twisted as how uncomfortable Hansol seemed about the situation, maybe it would be best if he just didn't see Byungjoo again. Or at least not yet. He wasn't sure if this idea was coming from a place of overprotectiveness or jealously, but something was telling him Byungjoo wasn't good for Hansol. That he wasn't ready to deal with this. 

From what Hansol had told him, Byungjoo had barely even kept in contact while he was away. Why should Hansol have to put up with that shit? He was one of the sweetest people Hojoon had ever known, he deserved better than this Byungjoo kid. 

He had also figured out that Taeyang wasn't all that keen on Byungjoo either. He didn't know why, he tried to hide it, especially from Hansol, wanting the younger to be happy, but Hojoon could sense something had happened that made the brunette weary. He trusted Taeyang's judgment better than anyone’s; he didn't seem to see the world through rose tinted glasses like his boyfriends did. 

He wrapped an arm around the younger, feeling Hansol practically melt at the small display of affection. It wasn't often that Hojoon would hug him back. 

"You do whatever's best for you, Hansollie."


	5. Chiarina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you thought hansol and byungjoo were gonna get together anytime soon then,,,,,,,,i'm afraid ur wrong lol. when i said this was a slow build you FUCKIN BET I MEANT IT
> 
> anyway byungjoo is back from italia and also this massively overlaps with opal so we've got some sweet hojoon angst on the way

Byungjoo knocked on the door, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself. He should have worn a proper coat; he had forgotten how cold England was when he decided to walk over to Hansol's. 

He was surprised he had even remembered the way, directions weren't his strong point. He thought back to how many times he forgot where his apartment in Rome was, ending up in a back alley somewhere, praying he didn't get stabbed. 

"Who the fuck are you?"

Byungjoo quirked an eyebrow at the blonde standing in the doorway, who appeared to be wearing nothing more than an oversized vest that stopped just below his ass. 

"Uh...Byungjoo. Who are you? Where's Hansol?"

The scantily clad blonde's eyes widened, a knowing smile spread across his face, making Byungjoo nervous. 

"Ah, so  _you're_  Byungjoo." He looked the student up and down, making Byungjoo wish he had worn something other than his high school basketball shorts and an old t-shirt. "Hm, I thought Hansol had better taste."

Byungjoo barely had time to register what this mystery boy was talking about before he disappeared back into the apartment, shouting for Hansol. 

"Joo! Hi! I missed you!" Hansol threw his arms around Byungjoo's shoulders. He had to act like everything was normal, like he wasn't falling for his best friend. 

Byungjoo flushed, he had forgotten how touchy Hansol was; he hadn't been hugged like that for months. "I take it you met Hojoon-hyung." He giggled, gesturing to the blonde who Byungjoo thought he had seen way too much of for their first meeting.  

He had only been gone six months, had Hansol acquired a new boyfriend in that time? Hojoon didn't really seem like his type. 

He followed Hansol inside, the elder asking him question after question about his time in Italy, but not leaving enough time for Byungjoo to answer him. 

They rounded the corner into the open plan apartment, Byungjoo's jaw dropping at what was going on in the living room. 

Hojoon had Jiho pinned to the back of the sofa, moaning loudly into the redhead’s mouth as they kissed, his hips gyrating against the obvious bulge in Jiho's black jeans. 

Hansol coughed, catching the two boy’s attention. Jiho flushed as he realised Byungjoo had been watching them. Hojoon smirked at him, not bothering to halt the rolling of his hips. 

"Oh, uh....hey, Byungjoo. How was Italy?" Jiho managed to gasp out, firmly placing his hands on Hojoon's hips in an attempt to get him to stop moving, but it just seemed to make the blonde grind down harder. 

"Uhm..." Byungjoo had managed to forget all English as Jiho's low moans reached his ears. "It was...good. Yeah, good."

"Oh, that's cool, I love Italy. Did you go see-"

"Jihoooo." He was cut off by a whine from Hojoon, the blonde was getting impatient. He was literally straddling Jiho, giving him a free lap dance, ready to be fucked and Jiho was paying more attention to this Byungjoo kid who dressed like a fourteen year old boy that listens to too much Eminem. 

Byungjoo watched as Hojoon leaned down to whisper something he couldn't make out in Jiho's ear, a playful smirk on his lips. He saw red creep up Jiho's neck as he looked back at the blonde with wide eyes. 

"Hey, Byungjoo, how about we sit down and talk about this properly, some other time. You uh, you haven't seen Hansol for ages I'm sure you too want to...spend some quality time together or...something." Jiho struggled to come up with an excuse to leave the two of them to catch up that wasn't _'nice to see you, but I really wanna go fuck Hojoon.'_

Byungjoo nodded, clearly getting what Jiho actually meant. He wasn't stupid. Neither was Hojoon. 

He watched as Jiho lead Hojoon to his room, the blonde winking in Byungjoo's direction as he shut the door behind them. 

"So...who the fuck is that?"

"That's Hojoonie." Hansol beamed, taking Byungjoo's wrist in his hand and leading him to his bedroom. "He's Jiho's...well not his boyfriend, yet. He will be one day though, I know it. Hojoon is just too stubborn to admit he likes Jiho back."

"So they're just sleeping together?" He guessed that made sense, Hojoon seemed like the no-strings-attached sex type if him gyrating on Jiho in front of his boyfriend and someone he had never met before was anything to go by. 

He still couldn't understand how Hansol could be okay with that though. He got his relationship with Jiho and Taeyang; anyone could see the three of them were madly in love. But why would Jiho need someone else to sleep with when he already had two boyfriends? 

"Oh, no. It's much more than that. I think Hojoon-hyung is, like, scared of the idea of being in love or something. He likes Jiho a lot though, probably just as much as Jiho likes him. I can tell. I think he's a little jealous of you." Hansol giggled, shoving Byungjoo's arm slightly. 

Byungjoo quirked an eyebrow. "Jealous? Why would he be jealous of me?"

Hansol shrugged. "I heard him ask Jiho if he had any other boyfriends he hadn't mentioned when I came to let you in. I think he thinks you and Jiho are together. That's why he put on such a show there. Marking his territory or something."

Byungjoo flushed, silently thanking God that his hair had grown out so he could pull some of it down over his face to cover his burning cheeks. Why would Hojoon think he and Jiho were together? 

"But anyway, how was Italy? I've always want to go there. Was the food amazing?" 

Byungjoo inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that Hansol didn't comment on the redness of his face and changed the subject. He launched into various stories from his trip away, constantly being interrupted by Hansol asking him to go into even further detail. 

"Oh, I, uh, got you something." He didn't know why he was so hesitant about giving Hansol the gift he had bought him, it was normal for friends to buy each other presents when they went on holiday, right? 

"You got me a present?!" Hansol's Cheshire Cat smile doubled in size as he shuffled closer to the brunette. 

He handed the wrapped box over to the elder. "It's okay if you don't like it, I wasn't sure if it's really what you're into." Something told him Hansol would like it regardless of what it was, that the blonde was happy enough with the fact that Byungjoo cared enough to bring him something back. 

Hansol opened the box, his eyes widening in wonder as he pulled out the doll which sat inside. It looked old, fragile. Some of its limbs had clearly been replaced over the years. 

"So there's this shop in Naples, Ospedale delle Bambole. I was just walking around one day and I swear to god, I almost shit myself. This window was just full of doll heads with no eyes. It was fucking terrifying. But it reminded me of you, I was like  _'Hansol loves all this creepy shit'_ , so I went in and it turns out it’s an antique doll hospital where they restore vintage dolls."

A small gasp left Hansol's lips as his fingers traced over the porcelain dolls face. So, Byungjoo really was thinking about him while he was away? Maybe...maybe telling him wouldn- No he couldn't do that. It would ruin everything. 

"That sounds amazing. Does she have a name?"

"Chiarina." He handed over a worn piece of paper. "She has a birth certificate and everything." 

"Chiarina? That's so pretty. Oh my god, Byungjoo, I love her." He carefully placed the doll on his bedside table before pouncing on the brunette beside him. 

Byungjoo's cheeks returned to a deep red colour as Hansol's arms wrapped around his shoulders. He hated how much the elder made him blush, he wasn't even sure why. He figured it was because he still wasn't used to Hansol's lack of boundaries, though after a year of knowing the blonde he should really be. 

Hansol continued to ask him question after question about Italy, not even letting Byungjoo answer fully before laying another question on him. Byungjoo smiled as the elder's eyes lit up with every story he told, whining about how Jiho had never taken him to Italy. 

"We should go sometime, like next summer or something."

"Really?" Hansol's eyes twinkled with excitement. "Oh my god, that would be so much fun, Joo!"

"I can take you to that creepy doll shop. And there's this place that does the best p-"

He was cut off by a banging coming from the wall on the right side of Hansol's room. 

_"Fuck! Jiho! Harder!"_

Byungjoo's jaw dropped as he realised what the banging was, face reddening. His eyes flickered to Hansol who seemed completely unphased, staring back at him waiting to find out what this place does that was the best. 

"Does that seriously not bother you?" Byungjoo had known Hansol for well over a year now, he could kind of understand the blonde not having a problem with Jiho and Taeyang sleeping together while he was in the next room, they were together before him, after all. But this was different. Hojoon wasn't even Jiho's boyfriend. Just a guy he was fucking. Loudly. 

Hansol shrugged. "Not really, I like Hojoon-hyung. He's nice. He taught me how to pole dance." Hansol giggled, thinking back to the day he and the elder had spent at his new club. 

"Pole dance?"

"Yeah, Hojoonie's a stripper."

Byungjoo's jaw hung open. "You're letting your boyfriend sleep with a stripper?"

Hansol's eyebrows furrowed defensively. "Well, yeah. It doesn't make him a bad person, Byungjoo."

"But he's probably getting paid to get fucked by a bunch of other guys."

"Don't talk about him like that." Hansol's heart tightened, thinking back to the nights Hojoon had fallen asleep crying in his arms, opening up to Hansol about all the things Jiwon had made him do. 

Byungjoo winced as he noticed Hansol's eyes begin to glass over, realising he must have hit a nerve. He sighed, not wanting to push any further. Maybe that really did worry Hansol, that Hojoon was selling himself and then coming home to Jiho. That this whore was in bed with his boyfriend. 

"But doesn't it feel weird hearing your boyfriend... _be_  with someone else?" 

Hansol laughed softly, biting back the tears. "A little, but I knew it was going to happen eventually. They fit together really well. Hojoonie basically lives here now. I mean, he has another place but he never goes back there. I don't know why he doesn't just move in permanently."

Byungjoo felt a little taken aback. He knew he hadn't been the best at keeping in contact while he was away, but he never expected to come back to someone else living here. Not that it mattered to him, it's not like  _he_  lived here. 

"Aren't you all moving soon anyway?"

A sad smile graced Hansol's lips as he thought about Hojoon. 

"We had to use the deposit money for something else, but we still wanna move to a bigger place sometime. Taeyang really hates it here."

Byungjoo hummed, not wanting to push, Hansol seemed so emotional today. It must have been something pretty important, he knew how much they all wanted out of this apartment, how much they wanted to start a life together in a proper house. 

His eyes trailed back to the wall, eyebrow quirking as the moans continued. 

"He's really...loud."

Hansol giggled lightly, reaching back to grab a remote off his bedside table and turning on some music to drown out Hojoon's cries of his boyfriend’s name, sensing how uncomfortable it was making Byungjoo. 

A faint blush crept onto Hansol's cheeks as he turned back to face his friend. "Yeah, Jiho tends to have that effect on people."

Byungjoo grimaced that the idea of Jiho making Hansol scream like that. "Okay, that was way too much information."

Hansol giggled again, louder this time as he smacked Byungjoo lightly on the chest. "Oh come on, as if you didn't know. You've came over when him and Taeyang have been at it."

Byungjoo's face heated up, groaning as the bottled up memory of that time he walked in on Jiho with Taeyang bent over the arm of the sofa flooded his mind. He didn't stay over at Hansol's for like a month after that. 

"His dick is so good, he could even turn you. Trust me." Hansol smirked, giggle turning into a loud cackle as the younger's face turned cranberry. He had missed this, joking around with his best friend.

Byungjoo curled up on Hansol's bed, burying his face in the pillow as he mock sobbed. 

"Do you have any idea how many memories I've had to repress in this house?!"

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo liked waking up in Hansol's bed. He had no idea why. Maybe just because it wasn't at his own bed in his parents' house. He kind of liked having someone snuggled into his side, he would rather it was a pretty girl, but this was good enough. 

"I think Tae made breakfast."

Byungjoo hadn't even realised the other was awake as Hansol sat up, stretching. 

The two of them left Hansol's room, joining the three boys who were already eating on the sofas, watching some shitty morning TV show. 

"Oh, hey Joo, I didn't even realise you stayed over." Jiho smiled at him, ketchup on his face from the sandwich he was eating. Taeyang tutted, wiping it off with his thumb like an overbearing mother. It was the first time he had seen the elder since he got back. His hair was a soft chocolate instead of the platinum blonde he was used to, it make him look less intimidating. 

Byungjoo inwardly rolled his eyes as he reached for his own bacon sandwich from the coffee table in the middle of the living room.  _Yeah, cause you were too busy riding Hojoon's ass._

"That's cause you were too busy riding my ass, babe." Hojoon commented nonchalant, eyes flickering up from his phone to meet Byungjoo's, a slight smirk on his lips as the brunette gaped back at him. 

Taeyang slapped Hojoon on the thigh. Byungjoo hadn't even registered that the blonde was wearing nothing but another revealing t-shirt, yet again. 

"So, how was Italy then?" 

Byungjoo told the four of them the same stories he had told Hansol the night before, the makeup artist sat beside him getting just as excited, despite knowing the outcomes. 

Byungjoo was halfway through a story about some girl he met when he was over there when Hojoon interrupted him. 

"Wait. You're straight?" Hojoon had been pretending he hadn't been paying attention, now stretched out across Jiho and Taeyang's laps. But that caught his attention. 

"Uh...yeah."

Hojoon quirked an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm 100% sure I like girls." 

Hojoon's eyes narrowed slightly, looking Byungjoo up and down before flickering over to Hansol momentarily. The blonde next to him shifted slightly. 

Hojoon hummed softly, settling back down into Jiho's arms. "If you say so."

Byungjoo sighed. Why was everyone always questioning his sexuality? He didn't have to deal with this for six whole months in Italy. He was getting really sick of this shit. He didn't understand why it was so difficult for everyone to believe he liked girls. 

"Thanks for breakfast but...I gotta go." Byungjoo went back to Hansol's room, ignoring the blonde’s calls of his name. 

"Hojoon, what the fuck?"

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol couldn't sleep again. He was getting sick of this. He didn't know how Taeyang managed to survive on such little sleep. 

He barely registered the front door opening and a rustling out in the kitchen until the door to his room cracked open. 

"Hey."

He was torn from his thoughts as Hojoon slipped into his room. 

"Can I sleep in here?"

He smiled to himself. Hojoon still hated being alone at night. With Jiho being away in New York for Fashion Week, Hojoon had been splitting his time between Hansol and Taeyang's beds. Hansol knew he favoured Taeyang's, however. He was pretty sure the elder blonde had a thing for his boyfriend. 

"Of course you can, sweetie." He opened his arms out, inviting the elder to snuggle in next to him. 

Hojoon had practically been living with them for the best part of five months and Hansol had grown accustomed to him being around. In fact, he adored Hojoon. He loved that the elder was slowly opening up to them, slowly coming around to the fact that people cared about him. 

"Taeyang was, like, starfished out in bed, I didn't wanna wake him. I know what a grumpy bitch he can be." Hojoon laughed softly against Hansol’s t-shirt as he nuzzled into the other blonde, arms wrapping around his waist. "Why are you awake, anyway? It's like 4am." 

Hansol yawned, settling down in his bed so he could face Hojoon. He hadn't actually realised it was that late. 

"I was just thinking."

"About Byungjoo?"

Hansol's breath hitched in his throat, nodding slowly. Hojoon wasn't much of a talker, but he was a good listener. He knew exactly how Hansol felt about the brunette. 

"You could have told me he's straight."

"What? So you could make fun of me for falling for someone I can never have."

Hojoon scoffed. "I would never." He thought for a second. That was probably a lie. "Well maybe just a little bit. He doesn't even seem like your type. What is it you like about him?"

Hansol shrugged. "I don't really have a type. He's not really anything like Taeyang or Jiho, maybe that's why I like him so much. He's like my best friend, we get on so well and he's just so genuine. Did Jiho ever tell you how we met him?"

Hojoon shook his head. He honestly knew nothing about Byungjoo. But he knew there was something about the brunette he didn't really like. Maybe he was just jealous that Byungjoo had known Hansol and the rest longer than he had. 

"About a year and a half ago, Jiho was going out with this guy, Sanggyun. He was Byungjoo's best friend. Jiho was crazy about him, but it turned out he was just using Jiho for his money. Byungjoo was the one that told me. He sacrificed his relationship with his best childhood friend for us. He's just so selfless and sweet."

Hojoon's eyes scanned over Hansol's face, the younger seemed upset, like this was something that still affected him after so long. He had no idea Jiho had gone through that. It made him wonder why the model had been so trusting with him. Why he would spend so much money on him even after what happened with this Sanggyun guy. 

"How could anyone do that to Jiho?"

Hansol sighed. It was something he still couldn't get his head around either. "I have no idea, but honestly I don't think we would have noticed for ages if it wasn't for Byungjoo. Sanggyun was so sly and manipulative we all genuinely thought he in love with Jiho. But all he cared about was his money."

"So that's why you like him? He saved you guys?"

Hansol hummed. "I guess I do have a type. Not physically, but I love people who put others before themselves, Taeyang and Jiho are both like that. Byungjoo is the same. I never saw him as anything more than a friend until he went away and I realised how much I missed him and that it must be more than a friendship thing."

Hojoon shuffled closer to Hansol, the other blonde's room was so much colder than Taeyang and Jiho's. 

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"Are you gonna tell Taeyang?"

Hojoon blanched. "W-what?"

"Oh, come on, Hojoonie. It's so obvious you like him."

"It's not- I don't-" It wasn't often that Hojoon got flustered, Hansol actually thought it was kind of cute. "We're not talking about me. This is about you."

Hansol smirked as he tried to change the subject. Even in the dark he could make out a slight blush on the elders cheeks. 

"I dunno. I think it'll ruin things." Hansol sighed. "He's kinda...weird about his sexuality."

"You think he's in denial or something?"

"No...I dunno." Hansol honestly didn't know what to think. Byungjoo said he was straight and he believed him, he knew that someone being interested in certain things or looking a certain way didn't make them gay. But part of him wasn't so sure when it came to Byungjoo, not that he would ever mention it to the younger. Hansol knew how much he hated people commenting on his sexuality. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. "People tend to assume he's gay a lot and he really hates it. He got bullied in school for it and stuff. I think if he knew I had a crush on him or whatever he wouldn't want to be around me that much."

Hojoon hummed. Advice wasn't his strong point, especially when it came to relationships; he had never been in one, after all. He didn't really know what to say to Hansol. 

"Do you think it is just a crush? That you'll get over it?"

"I hope so. He obviously doesn't see me like that, and I don't want this to ruin our friendship, so I really hope I'll get over it." Hansol groaned, burying his face in Hojoon's neck. "I haven't felt like this for so fucking long, I forgot how much I hated it."

Hansol wrapped his arms around Hojoon's waist, snuggling further into the other blonde for comfort. He had always hated having crushes on people. He hated the pining. The nausea and blushing whenever he saw them. He hated feeling uncomfortable around someone he was friends with. 

Hojoon laughed under his breath, pressing a soft kiss into Hansol’s hair. "Well, this is a first for me. I guess we can be hopelessly in love or some shit together."

A wide grin broke out on Hansol’s face, popping out from his hiding place under Hojoon's chin to peck the elder on the lips. 

"I knew you liked him."

"Shut up."


	6. Exhibitionism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this chapter also massively overlaps with opal my poor baby boy hojoon i love him so mch but all i do is make him cry :((  
> also me and eli were having a conversation about why they hate solitaire!hojoon so much and they said he was manipulative and always interfering w other ppls relationships and i was likeNOT THATS NOT TRUE HES MY BBY I'LL PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE,,,,,but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no he really is lol
> 
> (also expect typos bc i was editing and it crashed halfway through and i was too lazy to go back and recheck the bit id already done oop)

Hansol smiled to himself over his cup of tea as he watched Taeyang and Hojoon mess around in the kitchen. They were meant to be cooking dinner but had managed to get distracted by one another's lips. They were truly adorable, and he was so glad Hojoon was finally opening up to them and admitting his feelings. He just wondered when he would be able to tell Jiho. 

The redhead was away, again, on another shoot in Europe. Hansol couldn't remember where, geography was never his strong point. He missed him, but at least Jiho would call or FaceTime them every day, unlike Byungjoo. 

He was still so, so confused about Byungjoo and, honestly, it was driving him crazy. His feelings just weren't going away, if anything, they were getting stronger. There were times where he thought that maybe he and Byungjoo could happen. When the younger would rest his head on Hansol's shoulder while they watched TV, or the way he would curl around him at night. He honestly felt like he could just lean over and kiss Byungjoo there and then and it would be fine. Byungjoo would kiss him back and they could live happily ever after. 

But then there were other times, when they were out in public and Byungjoo would flinch if Hansol's hand accidentally brushed up against his, when he would leave a chair between them for 'snacks' if they went to the cinema. Those times made him feel like confessing would end up in him losing Byungjoo forever. 

He couldn't live like this. Hansol was incredibly open, he didn't hide his sexuality from anyone, he didn't like keeping things from his friends or family. The only thing he kept kind of secret was his relationship dynamic, for the sake of Jiho's career, and even that killed him. 

He felt like he was stuck in purgatory, between two decisions that were probably going to hurt him in one way or another. 

"Hojoon!"

He was pulled from his thoughts as his boyfriend giggled, arms pinned to the kitchen counter either side of him as Hojoon slowly lowered himself to his knees, eyes locked on Taeyang's.  

"Hansol's literally right there."

Hojoon’s gaze flicked over the other blonde, who was looking at him with an amused smile on his face. 

"You're acting like he's never seen your dick before. You'd probably love watching me blow your boyfriend, right Hansollie?"

Hansol just laughed in response, smile widening as Taeyang squirmed. Hojoon was such a tease it didn't seem to take much for him to crack Taeyang’s calm and cool composure. 

"Later, okay? Then you can do anything you want to me." Taeyang managed to tug his wrists free from Hojoon’s grasp with a smirk, urging the younger to stand back up. "Do you really want Hansol to go hungry just because you're horny?"

Hojoon whined out a _'fine',_ he couldn't really refuse that offer, even if it meant having to wait. He attached himself to Taeyang’s back as the elder went back to cooking. Hansol thought it was adorable how Hojoon had went from anti-relationships, anti-boyfriends and anti-love to being unable to stop cuddling and kissing Taeyang for more than twenty seconds. 

They were all distracted from whatever they were doing as the front door opened. Who could that be? Jiho wasn't due back for another couple of days. 

"Joo!"

Hansol jumped out of his chair as the brunette stepped into their open plan apartment, throwing his arms around the younger. 

Hojoon scoffed against Taeyang’s neck. Great. This was all he needed. He honestly couldn't stand Byungjoo, he wasn't even sure why, he just didn't like the student, and was pretty sure he never would. 

"What the fuck is _he_ doing here?" He whispered, arms wrapping tighter around Taeyang’s waist. 

"I dunno, but be nice." 

"What are you doing here?" Hansol asked the same question as Hojoon, but in a much more chipper voice and with less swear words as he lead Byungjoo over to the table he had been sitting at. 

"I was close by and just thought I'd come visit, I haven't seen you for a while. I would have texted but I lost my phone the other night."

"Oh, that's fine, we weren't doing anything important. We were just about to eat actually, do you wanna stay?" Hansol beamed. No matter what he was feeling for Byungjoo, or how much it gave him a headache, he couldn't help wanting to be around the younger as much as possible. 

"There's not enough for four." Hojoon shouted back before Byungjoo could reply, not even bothering to look back. 

Byungjoo's eyebrows furrowed. Of course Hojoon didn't want him here. He never did. Wait...why was he wrapped around Taeyang like that? He thought Hojoon didn't do affection unless sex was involved. Maybe he was sleeping with both him and Jiho now. Byungjoo wouldn't even be surprised; it was in his profession, after all. 

Hojoon grunted as Taeyang elbowed him in the stomach with a hushed _'I said be nice'_ before turning to the table. "It's fine, I'll just put more chicken in, there'll be more than enough." 

Hojoon huffed as Taeyang took Byungjoo’s side over his. He didn't want to have dinner with Byungjoo; he thought the three of them were just going to have a nice night in since he didn't have work today. This ruined everything. 

He settled himself down at the table beside Hansol, feeling a little dejected by Taeyang, and sort of wanting to mark his territory in a way. He lived here now. He was paying rent, sure he still had his other place that he was paying for - well, throwing money away on because he never went back there, but he had more of a right to be here than Byungjoo. 

He watched through narrowed eyes as Hansol and Byungjoo talked. There was no way Byungjoo didn't know Hansol liked him in that way. It was so obvious. The subtle touches, the giggling at everything Byungjoo said despite the brunette having absolutely no banter (in Hojoon’s opinion). He had to be leading Hansol on, surely. If Hojoon could pick up on it, the guy that basically knew nothing about relationships, then anyone could. Byungjoo was messing Hansol around and he didn't like it. 

They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes as Hansol got up to help Taeyang plate up the food, the two of them knowing fine well they didn't like one another. 

"Why do you have a key?" Hojoon spoke up first, suddenly realising Byungjoo hadn't even knocked on the door, just waltzed straight in. "It's not like you live here."

Byungjoo winced a little at Hojoon’s tone. Why was that any of his business? He didn't like the way Hojoon swanned around like he owned the place just because he was sucking Jiho’s, and probably Taeyang’s, dick. 

"Hansol gave me it. It's not like _you_ live here either." 

"Well, I do actually." A sly grin danced across his face as Byungjoo’s mouth fell agape. "With my _boyfriend_." 

 _Boyfriend?_ Had Hojoon and Jiho finally gotten together? That meant Jiho would be spending even more time with this whore instead of Hansol. He felt really bad for his best friend; surely this wasn't how healthy relationships worked. 

Byungjoo didn't get to respond before a plate of food was placed in front of him with a smile. He smiled back. As long as Hansol wanted him here he was going to continue to come over, whether Hojoon liked it or not. It wasn't his decision to make, anyway. 

"Thanks, baby." 

Byungjoo blanched as Hojoon pressed a forceful kiss to Taeyang’s lips as the elder sat down. Taeyang was his boyfriend? But... it was Jiho he was sleeping with...right? He was so confused. How did this even happen? He had no idea Taeyang had any interest in Hojoon. This _definitely_ wasn't how healthy relationships worked. Hojoon had been sleeping with Jiho for months, knowing fine well the redhead liked him, and then got with his boyfriend instead? Now Hansol had no one. He had no idea what Hojoon was up to, but he didn't like it. He didn't trust this _hooker_ at all. 

The three of them settled into casual conversation as Byungjoo pretty much ate in silence. This was really fucking with his head. 

Hojoon smirked to himself, sensing how uncomfortable Byungjoo was. Maybe he could completely drive the younger away and have Taeyang and Hansol all to himself for the night like he had originally planned. 

"I think I'm gonna go back to blonde, I dunno if I like this colour." 

They had somehow gotten onto the topic of Taeyang's hair. It had been months since he dyed it an ashy brown colour, mainly because he was in his final months of university at the time and knew he would have interviews coming up. He felt like brunette was a better colour for a future teacher than platinum blonde, but he missed it. 

"No, don't, you look good. Plus, if all your hair falls out I'll have no choice but to break up with you." Hansol smirked, taking a bite of chicken. "I refuse to have a bald boyfriend at the age of twenty-one."

Taeyang rolled his eyes with a sarcastic _'wow thanks Hansol, love you too'_ as the stylist giggled. Byungjoo smiled to himself. He liked Hansol and Taeyang's relationship, it was really sweet. 

"Yeah, I like it this colour too." Hojoon piped up, fingers running through Taeyang’s hair. He had never actually seen him with blonde hair in person, but he had seen photos. He looked good either way, but this was the colour he had when Hojoon first met him in this very kitchen and he didn't want that to change. God, he was getting all sentimental, maybe Jiho was rubbing off on him. 

"You're the cutest brunette I've ever seen." His eyes flickered over to Byungjoo with a wry quirk of his lips, sparing a moment to look up at the younger's messy hair. It made Byungjoo shift uncomfortably. He knew he wasn't the most put together person, but Hojoon made him feel as if he looked like shit. 

He ate the rest of his food, despite not wanting to be there at all with all the subtle jabs Hojoon was making at him which no one else seemed to pick up on. It felt rude just leaving when Taeyang went out of his way to make extra for him

"We should watch a horror movie since Jiho isn't here." 

"Oh my god, yes!" Hojoon grabbed Taeyang’s hand, dragging him over to the TV to find a decent film to watch. 

"I- I think I'm just gonna go-"

"No, stay! It'll be fun, come on!" Hansol looped his fingers around Byungjoo’s wrist as the younger fiddled with the hem of his shirt, intent on leaving. 

"Hansol, I-" Byungjoo sighed. He felt uncomfortable, _really_ uncomfortable. He had always enjoyed coming over here, it was way better than being at home with his parents. He loved just sitting around talking or doing sweet fuck all with Hansol, Jiho and Taeyang. That was, until Hojoon came along. Now he just felt like an intruder. Like he wanted to be anywhere but here. 

"What's wrong? Are you scared?" Hansol teased, swinging their arms together. 

"N-no!" He retorted. He really wasn't. He just didn't want to be here. "Of course not."

"Then come on, Hojoon always picks the best horror movies." Hansol dragged Byungjoo over to the sofa that Taeyang and Hojoon weren't already occupying, wanting the younger to himself. "If you get too scared I'll let you cuddle into me."

Byungjoo smiled to himself as Hansol nudged him gently in the ribs. He missed this. He had been avoiding his best friend a little because of Hojoon, and he really needed to stop. Hojoon didn't get to dictate who Hansol was friends with, and he really couldn't care less if the blonde didn't like him. 

Hojoon settled down in Taeyang's arms as he pressed play, slightly disgruntled that Byungjoo had decided to stay despite his best efforts to make the younger uncomfortable, while Hansol settled down next to Byungjoo. His heart leapt a little as he rested his head on Byungjoo’s shoulder. He knew exactly what he was doing to himself, that he was probably making things worse, but he loved the contact, he loved being able to inhale Byungjoo’s scent, he loved being so close to him, pretending that maybe this was real. 

The four of them watched the movie in silence, apart from a few startled gasps and curse words. Hansol didn't last much more than an hour, Byungjoo’s citrusy shampoo lulling him to sleep as he snuggled into the brunette. Byungjoo just let it happen, he was used to it by now, Hansol would fall asleep on him during pretty much every movie they watched, despite usually being the one to suggest it. He rested his own head on top of the elders, letting his eyes fall shut. He wasn't a huge fan of horror movies anyway. 

He was on the verge of falling asleep when moaning noises from the movie grew louder. _What the fuck?_ Trust Hojoon to pick a borderline-porno. He cracked an eye open, trying to focus on the TV in the dimly lit living room. It...didn't look like anything sexual was going on. What the-

"Hojoon!" He heard Taeyang gasp out, followed by a hushed giggle. "Hansollie and Byungjoo are just over there!"

 _Fuck_. It wasn't coming from the TV, were they seriousl-

"It's fine!" Byungjoo could just about make out Hojoon repositioning himself above Taeyang, ears burning as the elder groaned lowly. His eyes were wide, meeting Hojoon’s as the blonde looked over at him and Hansol to see if they were still awake, a devilish smirk creeping onto his lips as he realised Byungjoo was. "They're asleep."

"Okay! Okay, just move." Taeyang practically pleaded, arms looping around the back of his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him into a deep kiss as Hojoon began to rock his hips. 

Byungjoo didn't know what to do. He felt trapped. He couldn't very well get up now and go hide in Hansol's room or even leave, that would make things a million times more awkward. He'd just have to pretend to be asleep. But Hojoon knew fine well he wasn't. Why did he always feel the need to play these games? To mess around with him? Why was he even here? 

"God- Taeyang, baby, you feel so good."

His face was completely flushed, eyes screwed shut as he tried to block out at least some of what was going on in the same room as him. He was still trapped between Hansol and the arm of the sofa, the blonde sleeping peacefully on his shoulder as his boyfriend was being fucked by some whore just metres away. 

Byungjoo felt something bubble in his stomach. This felt so...wrong. Hansol was right there and Taeyang didn't even seem to care. He and Hansol had been together for ages, why was he replacing him with Hojoon?

"Ah- Hojoon! Harder!"

He wished he could cover his ears somehow, block out their breathy moans and desperate whines, that unmistakable sound of skin slapping against skin, the sofa creaking back and forth. He wished the movie was on louder. He wished he had some headphones. He wished his best friend wasn't in this weird polyamorous relationship so he didn't have to be sat here listening to his boyfriend fuck his other boyfriend. 

He couldn't take it anymore. 

He nudged Hansol off him, the elder barely even stirring as he snuggled into the arm of the sofa. He leapt up to flee to Hansol's room and shut the door behind him, hoping to block out any more of the lewd noises the two of them were making. 

He could almost imagine the smirk on Hojoon’s face as Taeyang asked what that bang was. _'You must have woke him up when you were screaming my name, baby.'_

He pressed his back up against the shut door, trying to level his breathing. If Hojoon really was trying to push him out of this friendship group, then that would do it. That was pretty high on his list of things he never wanted to see again. 

He got undressed so he could hopefully get some sleep and completely block out what had just happened, hissing lowly as he unzipped his jeans. _What the-_

_No._

This wasn't happening. He couldn't-

Did he seriously get a hard on watching Hojoon fuck Taeyang? 

"Shit." He whined under his breath, dragging his hands through his hair. How the fuck was he meant to deal with this? He didn't know where Hansol kept anything, and he didn't really want to go snooping in case he found anything he would never be able to erase from his memory. 

He'd just have to wing it, there's no way he'd be able to sleep without sorting himself out first. At least Hansol was a crier so he had tissues on his bedside table, that would have to do. 

He shimmied his jeans the rest of the way down, sliding into Hansol's bed with another soft whine as his hands delved into his boxers. 

This was _so_ weird. 

He was touching himself in his gay best friend's bed to the soundtrack of two guys banging in the room next door. He tried to block it out. Tried to think of something else. Something straight. 

He let his head lull back, breathing intensifying as he worked himself to full hardness. 

"Holy fuck, Hojoon!"

He bit down on his bottom lip, trying to stifle any sounds. Just because Taeyang was loud as fuck didn't mean he was going to be. He would never hear the end of it if Hojoon knew he got turned on by the two of them fucking. 

He wasn't even turned on by that. It was just the idea of someone else having sex in the same room as him. Right? He couldn't possibly be turned on by the idea of Hojoon pounding into Taeyang. 

_For fucks sake, Byungjoo, you're not gay. Get it together._

He tried his hardest to distract himself, think of something that wasn't so gay as he fisted his cock. 

 _Tits. Pussy. Lesbian porn... Sexy lingerie. Hansol._ He wondered whether Hansol was that loud. The elder never slept with his boyfriends when he was over, sharing a bed with Byungjoo instead. He probably sounded good. Probably looked good too. 

His eyes snapped open, wrist slowing. Why...why would Hansol pop into his mind? Why was he touching himself thinking about his best friend? His _male_ best friend? 

"Fucks sake." He muttered under his breath. Why was this so difficult? Masturbating was the one thing he did best, why couldn't he seem to do it without resorting to such gay thoughts tonight? 

He tried again. _Think straight thoughts, Byungjoo. You're literally straight. You can do this._

He picked up from where he left off. _Lesbian porn. Girls kissing. Sexy lingerie. Hot lesbians in sexy lingerie. Okay, now we're getting somewhere._

He smiled to himself as he picked up a rhythm, hips bucking slightly into his own touch. He let his head fall back against the pillow, moaning softly under his breath, trying his hardest not to be too loud. 

_What would Hansol look like in women's lingerie, though? Amazing probably, he has a really nice ass, not that you've looked or anyth-_

He hissed out a curse word. Why the fuck was he still thinking about Hansol? He felt tears prick his eyes, tears of frustration. What was going on with him? He wasn't gay. He _wasn't_. So why was he having these thoughts? Was it because of Hojoon and Taeyang? Had he just gotten it in his head or something? Why couldn't he finish without thinking about Hansol? 

This was so fucked up. But he was really hard and desperate to come before it was too late and someone walked in on him. It's not like he was at home where he could lock his door, he was in his best friend’s house that he shared with his boyfriends who had basically no boundaries. Fuck. 

Maybe...thinking about Hansol wouldn't be that weird. It's not like he would ever know. No one but Byungjoo would know. It didn't make him gay, it's just because he was surrounded by so much gayness... Yeah, that was it. This house was really gay and it was making him have slightly gay thoughts. On some level he knew that was ridiculous but he had to justify it to himself somehow. He couldn't just lie here rock hard hoping for it to go away only for Hansol to slide into bed next to him. 

_Just fucking get on with it, Byungjoo._

He picked up a rhythm with his hand for a third time, hoping it would be the last, this was getting old. He let his mind wander, allowing himself to think of Hansol in a compromising position just this once. He had no choice. That position just happened to be underneath Byungjoo; back arched, lips parted, panting, gasping the younger's name, fingers fisted into bed sheets as Byungjoo pounded into him. 

This was so fucking wrong. He'd never be able to look Hansol in the eye again. 

But it felt so right. It may have just been in his imagination, but Hansol felt amazing. 

"-sol." He gasped out, biting down on his bottom lip as an afterthought as he thumbed at the slot of his weeping cock. He was so close, and it was all because he was thinking of his best friend. 

 _"Byungjoo!"_  The imaginary Hansol in his head cried out, desperate for more. He sped up even more, grip tightening. _"I'm so close!"_  

He threw his arm across his mouth, biting down in on pale skin in an attempt to stifle his moans as he came to the image of Hansol coming. God he looked good. Blonde hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, face contorted in pleasure. 

He tried to catch his breath as he came down from his orgasm, as reality of what he just did hit him. 

Fuck. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol stretched his spine out, whining lowly. He was cold, uncomfortable and definitely not in his bed. What was he- Oh, right, they were watching a movie. He must have fallen asleep. 

"Mmm, Tae, baby."

He sat bolt upright, eyes fixing on the other sofa. He laughed softly under his breath; Hojoon and Taeyang were still in that honeymoon period and couldn't keep their hands off each other. 

"You two are such sluts, seriously."

The two of them looked over at him, Taeyang craning his neck over the arm of the sofa to get an upside down view of his boyfriend as Hojoon slowed his hips. 

"We thought you were asleep."

"I was. _Someone_ moaning woke me up." He smirked. That actually wasn't even true, he just liked seeing Taeyang squirm, he was usually so cool and put together. 

Taeyang whined a little as he reached up to smack Hojoon in the chest. "This is all your fault."

"It's not my fault you can't resist me, Taeyanggie." Hojoon mused, leaning down to press a kiss to the brunette’s forehead. 

Hansol laughed again. They were too cute, honestly. He highly doubted many other people were in this same situation right now, waking up to their boyfriend being fucked just meters away and it resulting in casual conversation. 

"Where's Byungjoo?" Hansol had only just realised that the younger was here, and that he probably fell asleep on him. 

"Taeyang woke him up too." Hojoon sing-songed pinching his boyfriends cheeks and making him squirm even more. Taeyang could already tell that the two of them were going to gang up on him from now on. Maybe dating Hojoon wasn't such a great idea.

"Think he went to your room, babe."

Hansol hummed an okay as he stood to leave, kissing Taeyang on the forehead just as Hojoon had before. "You two have fun, and try not to be too loud." He smirked, knowing fine well they wouldn't pay attention. 

"You don't wanna stay and watch?" Hojoon pouted as he began rolling his hips again, earning a hiss of his name from Taeyang. 

Hansol quirked an eyebrow, that did sound like a good offer, but he wanted to see Byungjoo. "Maybe another time." He smiled as he slipped into his room. 

He smiled even deeper as he saw a familiar mop of brunette hair in his bed. He wished he could see that every time he went in his room. 

He slid into bed next to his best friend, trying not to disturb him considering he had already been woken up once. He knew it made him sound like a massive creep, but he loved watching Byungjoo sleep. He always looked so serene and...perfect. He reached out to brush a few stray strands of hair away from the younger's eyes, so he could take in his features better. 

"Hey." 

He flinched as Byungjoo whispered. He was awake? Fuck. 

"Uh- Hey. I-I assumed you were asleep."

"I was." He scoffed. "Out there, anyway."

Hansol giggled softly. "Yeah...sorry about them. They've been like that all week. I can't keep them apart for more than, like, half an hour."

Byungjoo shifted, eyes opening to see if he could read Hansol's expression. He didn't like hearing that. He knew Hojoon was already occupying Jiho's time, but now Taeyang's too? How could Hansol not feel lonely in his own home? His boyfriends both prioritised this whore over him.

"That must suck."

Hansol cocked his head. "How come?"

"You mustn't get to spend a lot of time with Taeyang if Hojoon’s always with him."

"Well..." Hansol thought for a minute. "It's not really like that. I spend loads of time with Tae, just Hojoon’s there too. It's nice, actually. I love Hojoonie and I'm glad he's finally opening up and admitting his feelings. I know it was hard for him."

Byungjoo inched a little closer. That couldn't be it. There was something Hansol wasn't telling him, something he was hiding. He couldn't possibly be 100% okay with all of this. 

"But isn't it hard for you too? Don't you feel like Taeyang and Jiho are being taken away from you?"

Hansol shook his head. He didn't. He knew Taeyang and Jiho would never leave him. "No. Hojoon just needs them more than I do right now. It's not like I never get to see them, but he's been through so much that his wellbeing is my priority."

Byungjoo sighed. Hansol was something else. 

"You're so selfless, Hansollie." He nuzzled further into the pillow, sleep beginning to overtake him after this more than eventful night. "Maybe you need to be a little more selfish sometimes, though. Your wellbeing is important too."

Hansol’s heart skipped a beat. Byungjoo really seemed to care about him, didn't he?

"I-I don't really know how to be."

Byungjoo smiled, leaning in a little closer to Hansol. "You just need to do something for yourself, Hansollie. Looking after everyone else all the time can be draining, you have to make sure you look after yourself too."

Hansol's breath was shallow. Byungjoo's lips were so close to his. He wasn't even registering what the brunette was saying anymore. 

Byungjoo inched closer again, hand brushing against Hansol's cheek. The elder had zoned out again. 

Hansol winced slightly at the touch, eyes refocusing on Byungjoo's. He was looking at him so intently. Hansol could feel his heart beating in his throat. Why was he so close? 

"Hansol?"

Adrenaline kicked in. 

He pushed forwards, attaching his lips to Byungjoo's. Somewhere inside of him a more sagacious Hansol was screaming _'what the fuck are you doing?'_ , but he wasn't listening. Byungjoo's lips felt even softer than Hansol had imagined. His head was swimming. This was really happening. He had his eyes screwed shut, so he couldn't see Byungjoo's expression, but he wasn't moving away, so that was a good thing, right? He wasn't leaning into it either, though. 

The more rational part of his brain took over; he shot back, eyes wide, as if something on Byungjoo's lips had burned him. Did he really just kiss his best friend? His straight best friend? 

Byungjoo's face was right red. Fuck. 

"B-Byungjoo, I-"

He brunette was completely frozen, not even blinking. Had Hansol just _kissed_ him? After everything he had said about people thinking they were together? After all of the insecurities they had spoken about?

After what he had just done in the others bed?

Fuck. 

He had tried to push all of that out of his mind when Hansol entered the room. Cram it in some box and lock it away somewhere he would never think of it again. But it all came flooding back. Hansol's moans, how good he looked underneath him, as Byungjoo fucked into him. 

He felt his face heat up even more, a heat pooling in his stomach. No. this wasn't happening. He _wasn't_ getting hard from a barely there kiss from his _male_ best friend. 

Maybe his parents were right. Maybe it wasn't possible for a heterosexual and homosexual to be friends without something coming of it. Maybe Hansol truly didn't believe Byungjoo was straight. Maybe Byungjoo didn't even believe he was straight. 

"Joo, I'm so sorry." Hansol's eyes were staring to glaze over. "I just- after seeing them together and..." He choked back a sob. It wasn't a complete lie, in some level he was a little jealous of Taeyang and Hojoon, especially with Jiho being away. He had no one to kiss and cuddle and he thrived off of human contact. 

"It's okay."

Byungjoo's voice was barely above a whisper. He couldn't have a go at Hansol; he knew that the elder must be struggling, even if he would never admit it. Plus, it was barely even a kiss, their lips just touched for a few seconds. 

He wasn't willing to lose Hansol after a spur of the moment mistake. 

"You don't have to lie to me, Hansol. I know it must be hard being in a relationship like this, I mean, all relationships have their difficult moments. But I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. You're my best friend. I care about you."

Hansol nodded slowly, sobs subsiding. He hated admitting that maybe their relationship had flaws, he loved Taeyang and Jiho more than anything, and he loved Hojoon too, he wanted their relationship to be perfect, but in all honesty, he was struggling at the moment. He hadn't felt this insecure about their relationship in a long time. 

It had been just over a month since Hojoon and Taeyang had even got together, but he was already finding sleeping alone difficult after having a number of people to choose from. He knew it would be fine once Jiho came back home, when Hojoon would be sharing his time between the two of them a little more and he would get Taeyang back. And he knew his elder boyfriend wasn't trying to abandon him, just that he needed to look after Hojoon right now, that the dancer was still really insecure and needed him. He needed Hansol too, just not as much. 

He sighed. His head was kind of a mess at the moment. Everything with Byungjoo, his boyfriends, Hojoon. He just needed Jiho to come home and make everything better. 

Or maybe...he needed another boyfriend of his own. 

He glanced back up at Byungjoo, the younger hadn't taken his eyes off of him. And he hadn't pulled away from the kiss. Maybe...

No. the last thing he needed right now was losing his best friend. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his destructive thoughts at bay. 

"Thanks, Joo."

 

✧ ✦ ✧ 

 

"What's all this?" Hansol jumped slightly as a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, not expecting anyone else to be in until much later. He settled back into Taeyang's hold, fidgeting slightly with anxiety. 

"It's uh...dinner, for me and Byungjoo."

"Byungjoo?" Taeyang propped his chin on Hansol's shoulder, surveying the table in front of them. It looked awfully...romantic. "Are you planning on seducing him or something?"

Hansol froze up in Taeyang's arms as the elder laughed under his breath. 

"Wait." Taeyang pulled back, urging Hansol to turn and look at him. "Are you _actually_ trying to seduce him?"

Hansol flushed. "N-no." He wasn't trying to seduce Byungjoo. Well, he wouldn't complain if he did miraculously end up in bed with the brunette, but that wasn't his intention. "I'm gonna tell him how I feel tonight." 

Taeyang's eyebrows shot up under his fluffy sienna hair. He knew Hansol had a crush on Byungjoo, but he honestly thought it was just that, a crush. He never expected it to result in a confession. 

"Are you sure? I mean, he's straight, Hansol, this could really put a strain on your friendship."

"I know." He whined, arms looping around Taeyang's shoulders, needing some kind of human contact to slow his racing heart down. "But I feel like I'm lying to him. It's so hard for me sleeping in the same bed as him and hanging out pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's been months now and my feelings for him are just getting stronger. I feel like he needs to know."

Taeyang sighed, a gentle smile settling on his face. Hansol was always so open, it was one of the reasons their relationship worked so well. They didn't have secrets. Or so he thought. 

Hansol had clearly thought this through, it's not like whatever he was feeling for Byungjoo was new, it had been tormenting him for months. 

"If you think that's for the best, doll." Taeyang pulled him in by the waist, pressing a tender kiss to the younger's nose, his way of encouraging the blonde. "Me and Jiho will be in my room if he's a dick about it and you need me to come out and kick his ass."

Hansol giggled, arms tightening around the back of Taeyang's neck. He loved how protective the elder was of him. It was endearing how feisty and scrappy Taeyang was for someone so tiny and adorable. 

He leaned back in, lips gliding over Taeyang's as he captured them in a loving kiss. The brunette reacted almost instantly, head tilting to give Hansol more room to move, letting him take control. He knew Byungjoo was straight, but honestly, it was impossible not to feel something for Hansol. Taeyang moaned softly as Hansol's tongue prodded at his lips, sighing as they parted to let his boyfriend in. He was just getting into it, pulling Hansol in even closer, their chests flush against one another when the door rang. 

"Oh my god." Hansol breathed, pulling back from the kiss, eyes wide. "That's him."

Taeyang smiled, unlooping his arms from around the younger. He was cute when he was nervous. "You should go let him in, then."

A tiny whimper escaped from Hansol's lips. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Or, we could just pretend no one’s home until he goes away and me and you can have a cute date night instead?"

"Hansol." Taeyang placed his hands on each one of Hansol's cheeks, forcing the blonde to look him dead in the eye. "Stop stressing. It's gonna be okay. No matter what, you'll always have me, Jiho and Hojoon. Okay?"

Hansol nodded. He knew that. But it didn't help calm him down. 

"Now, go get your man."

Hansol giggled as Taeyang went to his room to give them some alone time. 

He took a deep breath, moving to let his best friend in. 

This was it. 

"Hey!"

Byungjoo caught him in a hug as soon as he stepped inside. Hansol practically melted. He loved how comfortable Byungjoo was with him now. The boy he met almost two years ago would never have been this cuddly. He hoped what he was going to tell him tonight wouldn't ruin that. 

He led Byungjoo to their open plan kitchen/living room, the younger freezing at the laid table in front of him.  

"Woah." Cutlery, candles...flowers? Was Hansol hoping to treat Taeyang or Jiho or something? Maybe they were busy so he just invited Byungjoo over instead so the food wouldn't go to waste. 

"The bulb's gone." Hansol pointed up to the light fixture above the table. "We didn't have any spare so it's dinner by candlelight, sorry." He laughed softly. It was a blatant lie, but he really hoped Byungjoo would buy it. He wasn't quite ready to tell him this was practically a date. 

They made small talk as Hansol finished off the food, Byungjoo telling him about his day. About some boring lecture he fell asleep in and got shouted at by his professor in front of everyone. About some girl in his class he liked. 

Hansol's heart skipped a beat. 

"She's really cute. She does this weird seal-like clapping with her hands when she laughs. It's adorable."

"D-do you think she likes you back?" Hansol asked tentatively, placing the plates down in front of them. 

"I think so, I dunno. I'm not very good at picking up on whether someone likes me like that." Hansol inwardly rolled his eyes. _No shit_. "I might ask her out sometime though. It's been fucking forever since I had a girlfriend. No wonder everyone thinks I'm gay."

Hansol's breath hitched. Byungjoo still clearly had a problem with that, people thinking he was gay. He couldn't possibly tell him how he felt. It would ruin their friendship. 

"Oh god, sorry!" Byungjoo's eyes widened as he realised what he had said. _Fuck_. He really didn't want Hansol thinking he was homophobic again. "I didn't mean it like that it's just- I haven't had a proper girlfriend for years and-"

"It's okay." Hansol forced a fake smile, not wanting Byungjoo to feel uncomfortable. "I know what you meant."

They ate in a somewhat awkward silence. Hansol had no idea what to say. Everything he had planned had gone out the window. There was no way he could tell Byungjoo how he felt, it wasn't worth sacrificing their friendship for. Byungjoo was his best friend, and he didn't want to let him go. The brunette would never reciprocate his feelings, so what was the point? Telling him would only freak Byungjoo out and make him back away from Hansol. That was the last thing he wanted. 

"This is actually edible." Byungjoo mused through a mouthful of rice, genuinely surprised Hansol had actually managed to make something decent. Whether he would get food poisoning the next day however, was yet to be seen. 

Hansol gaped, a scandalised look of shock on his face. "What do you mean _actually_? I’m great cook."

Byungjoo didn't even reply. His silence was response enough as Hansol huffed. 

"Hojoon-hyung likes when I cook for him."

Byungjoo scoffed. He didn't mean to. Not aloud, anyway. 

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." He inwardly scolded himself for sounding so childish. 

"Do you not like Hojoon?" Hansol's voice was small, almost tight. 

Byungjoo _didn't_ like Hojoon. At all. The blonde was incredibly obnoxious, and he seemed to dislike Byungjoo back tenfold. However, now that the elder and Taeyang had been together for a couple of months, he realised the arrogant dancer wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. 

He had no idea what Hojoon's problem was, and he found it weird that the others were so quick to defend him. They all used the same excuse.  _'He's been through a lot, he's actually really sweet.'_  Byungjoo was finding that difficult to believe. 

He knew Hojoon and Taeyang were an item, and Hojoon and Jiho had been sleeping together for ages now. But he didn't see why Hansol liked the blonde so much. From what he had gathered, Hansol had barely spent any time with his boyfriends since Hojoon had come on the scene. He knew it had been over six months since he and Jiho even shared the same bed overnight. Hansol still insisted he didn't mind, but Byungjoo knew that was a lie after the other night when the elder had kissed him. He was insecure about something in his relationship, he just didn't want to admit it. 

"Well, he doesn't like me."

Hansol put his fork down, turning to the brunette. "It's not like that...he-"

"He's actually really sweet; he's just been through a lot. Yeah okay, I get it, Hansol." 

Hansol's eyebrows furrowed. Why was Byungjoo acting so weird? So immature? 

"It's just hard for me to come over when he's here cause he clearly doesn't like me. And honestly, it feels like you're choosing him over me."

Okay, that sounded really childish. Obviously Hansol was allowed more than one friend. But Hojoon was more than a friend, he was Taeyang's, and more than likely soon to be, Jiho's boyfriend. He lived with them, apparently. He got to see Hansol and the others all the time. Byungjoo felt like his best friend was being taken from him, and then who would he have?

"I-I'm not, he just needs me right now."

Byungjoo pursed his lips. _He's been through a lot, he's really fragile_. He had heard it all before, but honestly, he found it hard to believe. Fragile was the last word he would use to describe Hojoon. The blonde was snarky, constantly aiming below the belt jabs at Byungjoo. He was obnoxious, lording the fact he apparently lived here now and Jiho and Taeyang clearly liked him more than they liked Byungjoo over him. He was just an all-round asshole. 

Byungjoo's eyes fell on a photo frame they had hanging on the wall. The picture in it had changed. He wondered when. It had been of Jiho, Hansol and Taeyang since he first met them. Hansol had told him it was from when they went back to Taeyang's hometown one time and they went to the beach even though it was -2°c. They were wrapped up in winter clothing even though it looked sunny and the sea glistened behind them, all cuddled in together as they squeezed into the shot. He always found it adorable. 

But now it was different. Hojoon was included. It looked like the four of them had all piled into a bed to take the picture, Hojoon clearly on top of Taeyang, pressing a soft kiss to the elder’s cheek. It didn't feel right, how quickly he had moved into their lives. It felt like he was taking over. Byungjoo had known them all so much longer and they didn't have any pictures with him anywhere. 

"Do you trust him?"

Hansol's tilted his head. "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"Don't you think it's weird how fast this is all going? Does he even go back to his own place anymore?"

"Well...no, not that often. He prefers it here, he feels safe here and we don't like the idea of him being alone."

"Safe?" Byungjoo quirked an eyebrow. "Safe from what?"

Hansol averted Byungjoo's gaze. He had never told the brunette about what happened with Jiwon, it wasn't exactly his place to do so. "I can't really say."

Byungjoo scoffed again. He hated that Hansol was keeping stuff from him, especially to protect Hojoon. He felt like he had some right to know if this guy was going to be in his best friend’s life. 

"Seriously, Hansol. What's going on here?" This whole situation didn't sit right with him. Honestly, he was worried they were being taken advantage of again. Jiho and Hansol were far too trusting, never saw the bad in anyone, and Hojoon was sleeping with Taeyang, surely that clouded the eldest's judgement. "Because I know there's money involved. A lot of money. That he's the reason you can't afford a new house. And I don't want anyone hurting you guys like Sanggyun did."

Hansol's heart tightened. He couldn't tell if it was because Byungjoo clearly cared about him, a lot, or because he was accusing Hojoon as something he would never do. 

"I can't say, Joo. Hojoon doesn't want you to know, he...he just had a really shit time in the past and Jiho made it go away. That's all you need to know. He's not using us like Sanggyun did. He's never asked Jiho for anything. He loves us, he really does."

Byungjoo still wasn't buying it, but Hansol's eyes were starting to glaze over and he couldn't bear the thought of his best friend crying so he left it at that. 

"As long as you're sure you're happy, Hansol, that's all I care about."

Hansol gaped as Byungjoo went back to eating. Did he really mean that? Was Hansol's happiness really that important to him? 

He felt warm. Really warm. Like he might have to take his sweatshirt off warm. Byungjoo had gone back to talking about something, but Hansol couldn't focus. His eyes were locked on the younger's smile; how plush his lips , how round his cheeks got, how his eyes formed little crescent moons. 

Maybe he should tell him. 

After eating they settled into the sofa, binge watching some American sitcom. It had been a good six hours since Byungjoo came over and Hansol still hadn't plucked up the courage to tell Byungjoo how he felt. By this point Jiho and Taeyang had come to join them, clearly sick of being holed up in one of the rooms as their boyfriend pussied out. 

Byungjoo flinched as the doorbell rang. Hansol's eyebrows furrowed. Everyone was in, apart from Hojoon, but he was at work, he wouldn't be back for a while, who would be knocking at 2am? 

"I'll get it." Taeyang stirred beside them, Hansol could have sworn the brunette was asleep. 

Hansol settled his head back on Byungjoo's shoulder; Taeyang would no doubt let him know who it was when he came back. 

He heard an excitable shouting from the door of Taeyang's name. It sounded like...Hojoon? He wasn't meant to be back until the morning, though. 

"Jiho!" They heard Taeyang call for the redhead. Hansol's heart rate sped up. Something felt off. 

He and Byungjoo followed Jiho to see what was going on. Hojoon was wrapped around Taeyang and...was that Hojoon’s boss? What was going on here? Something was definitely wrong. 

He and Byungjoo watched as Taeyang unhooked the blondes arms from around his shoulders, turning to make his way back inside. He looked pissed. And Hojoon looked like he was about to cry as he tried to follow Taeyang, Jiho wrapping his arms around the elder and pulling him in a tight hug to prevent him from going anywhere. 

"Tae?" Hansol tried to catch Taeyang's attention, to ask him if he was okay, but the brunette walked straight past him, retreating to his room and slamming the door. 

What was going on?

He was pretty sure Hojoon was crying into Jiho's shirt. It made his heart clench. It had been ages since he heard Hojoon cry. Everything seemed to be going so well recently, with his new job and him finally telling Taeyang how he felt. 

He felt Byungjoo's fingers thread with his, trying to comfort the elder, clearly sensing his worry. 

He could barely make out what Jiho and Hojoon’s manager...S _angdo? Was that his name?_  were taking about but he was pretty sure he heard the name Jiwon. 

"Jiwon?" His stomach flipped as the name left Jiho's lips, fingers contracting around Byungjoo’s. "He didn't hurt him...did he?" 

Hansol felt his heart race. What had Jiwon done to Hojoon? He thought they were rid of him. Jiho had paid him off and that had been it been it. Until now. 

He breathed a sigh of relief as Sangdo shook his head. He hated the idea of anyone hurting Hojoon. Especially  _him_. 

"What's going on?" Byungjoo whispered, his free hand tightening around Hansol's, rubbing soothing circles into the soft skin with his thumb. 

"I'm not sure." He watched on as Sangdo left. Jiho wiped away Hojoon’s tears, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He was swaying slightly. Maybe he was drunk. That would explain Taeyang wanting Jiho to deal with the situation. He didn't cope too well with drunk people. He watched as Jiho took Hojoon in his arms, lifting him up, the elder’s legs automatically wrapping around the redheads waist, face nuzzling into his neck. 

"Jiji? Is he okay?" Hansol's eyes were wide as Jiho carried Hojoon down the hallway. 

Jiho's shook his head softly. "Jiwon turned up where he works tonight. I think it's really freaked him out." Jiho eyes were glassy and it made the knot in his stomach tighten. "I'm gonna take him to bed though, see if he'll sleep this off. See you in the morning, baby."

Hansol whispered out a quiet _'see you'_ as Jiho pushed into his room. He hated this. He hated Jiwon. He hated everything the man had done to Hojoon. He hated that he would do this to Hojoon again.

"Who's Jiwon?"

Hansol flinched. He had almost forgotten Byungjoo was there even though the younger was still holding onto his hand.

"Uh..." Even though Byungjoo had seen all of that he didn't feel right telling him. Hojoon was a very private person, he didn't want everyone to know his problems, it was hard enough getting him to open up to the three of them. "Joo, I'm really sorry but I can't tell you. I feel like I'm betraying Hojoon’s trust if I do and it took him forever to feel comfortable enough to tell us."

Byungjoo blinked. Seriously? Hojoon comes back here, chaperoned by his manager, drugged off his tits and crying and Byungjoo still doesn't get to know what's going on? 

He was getting really sick of Hansol prioritising Hojoon over him. 

"Joo, I- maybe you should go." The words hit Byungjoo like lightning, leaving him stunned. Hansol was asking him to leave? "I need to go see if Taeyang's okay."

Byungjoo gaped. It was 2am and Hansol was kicking him out because Hojoon came back off his face and it annoyed his boyfriend? He couldn't see how that was his fault, why he was the one being cast out and not Hojoon. 

"I'll pay for a taxi for you, I know it's late, but I just really need to be with them right now."

Byungjoo chewed at the inside of his mouth. This was bullshit. 

"It's fine, I'll just get one myself." He didn't need Hansol's pity money, he just wanted to get out of here. He grabbed his coat, turning to leave without even looking at the elder. 

"I'll see you sometime soon, ok-"

He slammed the door behind him before Hansol could even finish his sentence.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus christ when will this torment end this is going to be longer than turquoise and opal combined isnt it


	7. Make your Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FFS i was going to wait til the weekend to post this but i accidentally posted it while editing so here it is i guess lol. ao3 is such a bitch to use on mobile :(  
> this isn't the longest chapter but theres some sweet angst up in here so (ok sign emoji)

Hojoon was sat cross legged on the living room floor, halfway through some online Pilates video, smiling at a cute text Taeyang had sent him. He really hated daytime when he was left alone in the small apartment, alone with his thoughts. He just wanted Taeyang and Jiho to come home and cuddle him and make him feel better. He had no idea when he got so desperate for attention and human contact, but he didn't really care, either. 

Taeyang and Jiho. His boyfriends. He still had no idea how he ended up here, with not only one but two amazing guys that loved and cared about him. Then there was Hansol, he wasn't in love with Hansol as such, not romantically anyway, but he definitely felt something for the makeup artist. 

Just thinking about the three boys he lived with made him feel warm inside, or something mushy like that. He had never really done emotions or feelings. Never fell for anyone, never cared about anyone because no one ever cared about him. But everything was changing, as much as he thought he would hate it, he actually really loved it. He wouldn't change his new life for the world. 

But then there was Byungjoo. 

Hojoon didn't like Byungjoo. He didn't know why, he just didn't. The brunette was annoying and loud, but not in the cute, endearing way Hansol was, and he always seemed to be getting in his way. 

Hojoon would never admit it aloud, but he loved it when it was just the four of them. When he, Taeyang, Jiho and Hansol would curl up on the sofa, legs intertwined, feather light kisses being scattered across cheeks and foreheads. That felt right to him, almost like home. Not that he had ever had a real home, but he was pretty sure it felt something like this. 

Then Byungjoo would come over. The brunette always managed to be centre of attention, somehow. Whether it was play fighting with Jiho, cuddling with Hansol or cracking jokes with Taeyang, he felt like an outsider when Byungjoo was around. Was he jealous? Of course he was, but he could barely even admit it to himself. 

They had all known Byungjoo longer than they had known Hojoon, they had this bond. Byungjoo saved them, helped them escape a lying ex, whereas Jiho was the one to save Hojoon. He could never compete with that. He almost felt like they idolised Byungjoo, were eternally grateful to him, whereas they just pitied Hojoon. 

He didn't like the way Byungjoo treated Hansol, either. It was more than obvious that Hansol felt something for him, but Byungjoo insisted on playing this macho straight role. Hojoon wasn't buying it. He got that people struggled with their sexuality, but he didn't think that was an excuse for Byungjoo avoiding Hansol or keeping him at arm’s length in public. He knew it was killing the blonde. 

He couldn't help himself, being a dick to Byungjoo. That was just how he was. Usually it worked in his favour; he would be so horrible to the brunette that he would end up feeling uncomfortable and going home so Hojoon could have the rest of them all to himself. Five was a crowd, anyway. 

He was practicing his flexibility for work later on, stretching to warm up when a door opened behind him. _Who the fuck?_

Someone with shaggy brown hair and terrible fashion sense strolled into their open plan kitchen-living room. _Great. Just what he needed._

Byungjoo felt awful. He had been avoiding Hansol ever since that night when Hojoon came back crying. He was still mad that Hansol was clearly choosing Hojoon over him, but he couldn't really stay angry at the stylist, and he understood that Hansol had to go make sure Taeyang was okay. 

He decided to try and make things better by bringing Hansol ramen from his favourite Japanese place in the city centre. Food usually cheered him up; when he wasn't on some ridiculous diet he didn't need to be on, anyway. 

He let himself into the apartment Hansol shared with his boyfriends with the key the elder had given him ages ago. He was pretty sure Hansol would be home, or almost be home, he usually finished around this time. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Byungjoo faltered. He hadn't even realised anyone else was in. Why did it have to be Hojoon of all people? 

"I brought Hansol some food; I thought he'd be back by now." He didn't know why he was even justifying himself to Hojoon, he didn't need to. 

"Whatever. Just try not to get in my way, I need to practice."

Byungjoo's eyes narrowed. Who did Hojoon think he was? This _stripper_ had come into his friend's life out of nowhere and was acting like he owned the place. Just because he was fucking Jiho and Taeyang didn't give him the right to tell Byungjoo what to do. He had been here way longer than Hojoon had. 

"Practice what? Spreading your legs?" Byungjoo bit back as Hojoon manoeuvred himself into a horizontal split. "Because something tells me you're pretty good at that already."

Hojoon's breath caught in the back of his throat. No one had spoken to him like that since he was stuck with Jiwon. It had only been a couple of weeks since the tattooed man had showed up where he works; it was still a fresh in his mind. His eyes unfocused as he told himself over and over not to let a single tear fall. Not in front of Byungjoo. 

"Get out." His voice was small, smaller than Byungjoo was used to. Clearly that hit a nerve. 

Byungjoo scoffed. As if he was going to leave. 

Hojoon stood, crossing the room so he was just inches from Byungjoo. The blonde was shorter than him, just by a bit, but their eyelines were just about level, he could see the raw pain in Hojoon's glassy eyes. Maybe that was a step too far. 

"Get the _fuck_ out." No one got to speak to him like that anymore. Jiho, Taeyang and Hansol had shown him that he was more than that, more than some cheap hooker that had been used by god knows how many men, that he mattered and he didn't have to take shit from anyone. Not even Hansol's best friend. 

"You can't tell me what to do, Hojoon, it's not like you actually live here. You're just some whore Jiho took pity on because he needed a new fix up project." He knew he had crossed a line, bringing up Taeyang's past, but it was too late to go back now. 

"Jiho _loves_ me." Hojoon's voice was beginning to crack. Jiho _did_ love him. Right? Jiho was his boyfriend now. They were together. 

"And you pay him back by almost ruining his relationship with Hansol?" Byungjoo couldn't grasp why Hansol was so okay with Jiho spending most of his time with Hojoon, surely it must be killing him. He had never said anything out loud, but Hansol never would, Byungjoo wasn't sure he had ever said a bad thing about anyone in his life. 

Hojoon swallowed thickly, forcing the tears down. He wasn't ruining Jiho and Hansol's relationship, was he? He knew Jiho hadn't been as intimate with Hansol since he came along, but Hansol always insisted he didn't mind; that he loved Hojoon in his own way. 

"Hansol loves me too...he knows why I need Jiho." 

"You need him or his money?"

"Wh-what?"

"I don't know what exactly happened with you and Jiho, but I know there was money involved. I know they can't afford to move because of you. I know how unhappy they all are in this apartment; they've been dying to get out of here since I met them."

Before he went to Italy Hansol was so excited about moving to a big place in a nicer part of London, somewhere they could all have their own space and really start a life together. They were going to viewings, talking about putting a deposit down. He had half expected them to have moved out by the time he got back. 

But then Hojoon came along. Byungjoo didn't really know what had happened while he was away because Hansol never seemed to want to talk about it. That's how he knew it was a big deal, Hansol was usually so open. There was no way their sudden lack of money and Hojoon turning up weren't connected. 

"You're just a golddigging slut like Sanggyun was."

Hojoon's eyes widened at the accusation, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"I would _never_ do that to Jiho." Hojoon was shaking. He felt terrible that Jiho had wasted their savings on him, he never asked for that. Jiho did it because he cared for him; he put Hojoon's safety above their dream house. 

He knew how difficult this was on the three of them, that he had put them in such an awkward position. That they had put up with his breakdowns and constant need for attention. That Hansol barely got to spend time with his boyfriends because Hojoon couldn't bear to be without them. 

He could feel himself falling apart, arms wrapping around his torso in an attempt to keep himself together. He couldn't hold it back any longer as everything came crashing down on top of him. Sometimes he wished Jiho had just forgotten about him, just gotten on with his life; put all his love and energy into his relationships with Taeyang and Hansol. They deserved it. He didn't. He was just some prostitute who had gotten himself in to a load of trouble. It wasn't Jiho’s problem to deal with; he should have just forgotten about him and got on with his life. They'd all be so much happier. 

Byungjoo's face fell as Hojoon broke down in front of him. This wasn't how he had expected this to go. He figured Hojoon would be the explosive argument type, if his arrogant demeanour was anything to go by. He wasn't expecting the elder to cry. Though, he wondered if he was still sensitive after the other night. Maybe it was just an act to make him feel bad. He honestly wouldn't put something like that past Hojoon. 

Byungjoo panicked as he heard the front door unlock. Hojoon was a sobbing mess and it was his fault. He knew how much they all cared about Hojoon, for whatever reason. He just prayed it wasn't Taeyang, he had seen first-hand how vindictive the brunette could be. 

"Hey!" _Oh thank god._ It was Hansol. Surely he would take Byungjoo's side, realise that he hadn't meant for this to happen, or that Hojoon was just putting it on. "I brought- Hojoon?"

Hansol ran to envelop the dancer in his arms. He hated seeing Hojoon cry. Until Jiwon showed up he honestly thought that they were past this, that Hojoon was getting better. But why was he crying now? In front of Byungjoo or all people? 

"What happened, baby?" He whispered into blonde hair, gently rocking Hojoon back and forth in an attempt to stop him shaking. It only seemed to make him cry harder. 

Byungjoo was watching the two of them, arms folded across his chest, a look of sheer disbelief on his face. He really couldn't grasp what it was they all saw in Hojoon. He was a dick. A manipulative asshole. He was clearly playing them all. He had seen it once before and he wasn't prepared to let it happen again. 

Hansol's breath hitched as Hojoon whispered _make him leave, please_ into his neck. What had gone on here? He knew Hojoon and Byungjoo didn't exactly get along, but something pretty drastic must have happened if Hojoon was crying this hard in front of someone he barely knew. 

"Joo, what did you say to him?" Hansol's voice was low, direct. It made Byungjoo's stomach twist. He had never heard that tone on Hansol's voice before. He didn't like it. 

His eyes narrowed as Byungjoo didn't reply. 

"Hojoonie, why don't you go to my room, I'll be in soon, okay, honey?" His voice switched back to its usual sunny pitch, trying to reassure Hojoon that whatever was going on would be fine, that he was loved. 

He pressed a soft kiss to Hojoon’s lips as the elder turned to leave; the skin on his neck tightening as Hojoon's tears began to dry.  

"What the fuck did you say to him?" Hansol hissed as his bedroom door shut behind the dancer. 

"Just the obvious."

Hansol exhaled through his nose. "Which is?"

"He's using you guys. For money, or sex, somewhere to live...I don't know. But he is, Hansol. This is just like Sanggyun, he-"

"Hojoon is _nothing_ like Sanggyun." Hansol kept his voice low, not wanting Hojoon to hear, even though he was pretty sure Byungjoo had already said this stuff to his face. He didn't know where Byungjoo was getting this from. "He's not using us; he's never asked Jiho for a single thing. He just needs someone to love him. He's-"

"He's been through a lot and he's actually really sweet. So you keep saying, Hansol." Byungjoo was really sick of hearing this. Hojoon seemed to have a hold over his best friend, and he hated it. 

"That's cause it's true, he is. He's just had a really shit time."

"Is that why Jiho gave him your life savings?"

"He didn't-" Hansol took a deep breath, not wanting to shout. He hated shouting. "You don't know what happened, Byungjoo. He didn't give Hojoon any money, okay? Me and Tae are fine with what happened, we understand why Jiho did what he had to."

Byungjoo shook his head. This was ridiculous. "You're really fine with him throwing away your dream home and god knows how many thousands of pounds that you _all_ worked really hard to save for some whore?"

Hansol's blood ran cold. "Don't you _dare_ call him that."

"Why not? That's what he is, right? Don't try and tell me he's just a stripper, Hansol."

Hansol's fists balled, knuckles turning white as fingernails dug into his palms. It wasn't often that he got angry, but there was no way he would let Byungjoo talk about Hojoon like that, not after everything the elder had been through. Not after everything Jiwon had done. It didn't matter that Byungjoo was apparently his best friend, that he had an insane crush on him that wouldn't go away. No one got to talk about Hojoon like that anymore. 

"Byungjoo," Hansol's voice was low, calm almost, as he suppressed the urge to well and truly kick off at the brunette, "Hojoon is part of this family now, he's with Taeyang and Jiho and I love him just as much. We've spent months helping him heal and I'm not prepared to let you ruin that, regardless of whether you're my best friend or not. If you can't treat him properly, then I suggest you fucking leave before Tae gets home, because he will fucking _kill you_ if he finds out what you've said to him."

Byungjoo's breath froze in his lungs. Was this a joke? Was Hansol really picking Hojoon over him? He had only known the other blonde a couple of months, why would he ever pick him over his best friend? 

"Are you seriously choosing _him_ over me?"

Hansol avoided Byungjoo's gaze, he didn't want to have to choose, but Hojoon needed him, and Byungjoo was being a real dick. How could he fall for someone who would say such hurtful things? He knew Hojoon and Byungjoo didn't really get on, that they would make snide remarks to one another, avoid each other as much as possible, but surely that didn't warrant _this_. 

Byungjoo scoffed at Hansol's lack of response. 

"Well, you've clearly made your choice." 

He turned, leaving without so much as looking back at Hansol. He couldn't believe Hansol would choose Hojoon over him. Maybe they weren't best friends after all. Maybe he should have just let Sanggyun use them all. 

Hansol winced as the door slammed shut, tears threatening to spill over his lashes. He quickly wiped them away; he couldn't cry right now, he had to go check Hojoon was alright. He had to be the strong one here. 

"Hey, sweetie." He pushed the door of his room open, trying to ignore the fact that some of Byungjoo's clothes were still laid across his dressing table chair. 

Hojoon was curled up in his bed, covers drawn over his head, probably so he couldn't hear Hansol and Byungjoo arguing. His sobbing had stopped, replaced with silent tears that unwillingly ran down his round cheeks. 

"Are you okay?" He lay down next to Hojoon, shuffling under the covers as he brushed a couple of stray hairs out of the elder’s eyes. 

"Hansol do you...do you resent me?" Hojoon's voice was so small, weak almost. Hansol hated the idea of him being set back to square one. 

"Baby, of course I don't."

"But I've completely ruined everything for you guys." He started to well up again, thinking about the only three people in the world that loved him. "The money and the house and your relationships with Tae and Jiho. I know you say it doesn't matter, but how can it not? I feel like I'm stealing them from you. Like you were all so happy before I came along and I just fucked everything up."

Hansol pulled Hojoon into a tight hug, gently shushing into blonde hair as he let the dancer cry into his shirt. He couldn't lie; it had been difficult ever since Hojoon came along. It was hard coming to terms with the fact they hadn't moved out yet, or that so much of their savings were gone. It was hard not being able to spend the night with Jiho and Taeyang as much as he used to. It was hard having to hear someone he cared about cry themselves to sleep as they replayed the memories of years of abuse. 

But it was worth it. He truly did love Hojoon. He loved when the elder laughed and cuddled into him when they watched shitty reality TV. He loved he smile on Hojoon’s face whenever Taeyang would kiss him on the tip of the nose, or Jiho would wrap a protective arm around him. He loved seeing the blonde come out of his shell, open up to them, let his guard down; get some of his fire back. He loved the sass and the sarcastic comments and eye rolls and the resting bitch face. He didn't ever want Hojoon to leave them. 

"Look, whatever Byungjoo said isn't true. I love you, Joonie. You're like my brother..." he realised maybe that sounded weird considering how much they kissed, "or best friend or whatever. I don't ever want you to think you've made our lives worse."

Hojoon's sobs subsided, his arms wrapping around Hansol's waist. "Best friend? I thought Byungjoo was your best friend." He had never had a best friend before, it made him feel just as warm as when Taeyang and Jiho used the word _boyfriend_. 

Hansol chewed on the inside of his lip at the mention of the brunette. "So did I. But I'm not sure I can be best friends with anyone that would treat you like that, Joonie."

Hojoon emerged from where he was nuzzled into Hansol's shirt, face red and blotchy from crying. He leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to Hansol's lips, the younger tilting his head slightly to give Hojoon more room to move. 

He liked kissing Hansol. It wasn't hungry or sexual, just sweet. It made him feel loved, cared about. 

"I love you, Hansollie."

Hansol's lips fell apart, that was the first time Hojoon had ever said that to him. It was true though, he did love Hansol. It wasn't the same type of love he felt for Taeyang, or even Jiho. It wasn't sexual or even romantic. He just really enjoyed being around the other blonde. Maybe they really were best friends. 

"I love you too, Hojoonie."


	8. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WASN'T MEANT TO BE SO LONG SORRY IDK WHAT HAPPENED BUT HERES 7K OF NONE-ANGST?? WHATS WRONG WITH ME??
> 
> also this is probably full of typos sorry my eyes are too tired to re-read oop

Byungjoo and Hansol barely spoke after that incident. Byungjoo couldn't bring himself to apologise to someone like Hojoon and Hansol wouldn't allow himself to be friends with someone so malicious, never mind fall for them. 

He had considered explaining what had happened with Hojoon and the money...about everything. But he was scared it would drive Hojoon away. He didn't exactly like people knowing about his past, about what Jiwon had done to him, and Hansol was pretty sure the last person he wanted to know was Byungjoo. 

But he missed Byungjoo. A lot. He missed his best friend, his crush. He missed spending nights lounging around talking about nothing, he missed waking up with Byungjoo next to him, he missed watching sad movies on purpose so he could cry into Byungjoo’s chest. But he felt like it was for the best. Hojoon was part of his family now and he wasn't prepared to let anyone hinder his recovery and happiness. 

They saw one another occasionally, tried to get over it and move on. But it wasn't the same, everything was different now. Hansol had seen a new side to Byungjoo, one he didn't like at all. Eventually, they drifted apart. 

Hansol distracted himself with redecorating. They had finally managed to scrape together the money to buy a new place, the four of them, all together. They settled on a huge seven bedroom detached house in Notting Hill and were determined to make it their own. They could finally make a home together. 

It had been well over six months since Byungjoo had last seen Hansol, or any of them for that matter. He had pretty much moved on, adjusted to not having a best friend. Not having someone to lie around and watch terrible movies with, not having someone to cuddle, not having someone to talk to when he'd had a shit day. 

Maybe adjusted wasn't the right word. He dealt with it. He tried to reinvent himself. Bleached his hair, started working out, wore a confident façade, became popular with the girls on his course. He tried to fill the hole in his life left by Hansol with one night stands and even attempting relationships. But nothing worked. It wasn't the same. 

And honestly, it annoyed him. Why, after so long, was he still thinking about Hansol? His ex-best friend. That's all they were. Friends. So why was he still waking up in the middle of the night feeling completely alone even though there was a girl curled into his side? 

He had no idea why he was so hung up on Hansol; it was almost as if he was pining for the elder. Lovesick or something. But that couldn't be it. Surely. 

"I'm glad you stopped hanging around with that faggot." His father patted him on the back with such force that Byungjoo almost spilled his pint on the giant rugby player in front of him. "You're starting to look like a real man. Finally." 

Byungjoo didn't even respond, keeping his eyes trained on the football match on the widescreen TV in the pub they were sat in. He still hated the way his dad spoke about Hansol, but he had to admit things had been better between him and his parents since he had stopped speaking to the stylist. 

The constant barrage of homophobic slurs they aimed at the two of them whenever Byungjoo would go stay over at Hansol's had grown to be tiring, and that was without mentioning Hansol lived with two other gay guys who were both his boyfriends. Three if he counted Hojoon. Which he didn't. It had gotten to the point where he made up a girlfriend and told them he was staying over at hers. 

"You gonna go out tonight? Pull another fit bird?" His dad elbowed him in the ribs playfully. He hated the way his father talked about women. He hated himself for talking about them in the same way. But that was the role he played now. The lad. He'd get with girls for one thing and one thing only. He'd sleep around but degrade women for doing the same thing. He really couldn't understand why his parents would prefer having a son like this than one who was friends with a gay guy. But they did. 

"I dunno. Probably." It's not like he had anything better to do. Maybe he'd finally find a girl that didn't make him feel so fucking empty and void. Maybe he'd find someone that looked just like Hansol; adorable, round cheeks, pouty lips, cat like eyes. 

Wait. 

_What?_

That...definitely wasn't what he wanted. Though, the dream he had the night before may suggest otherwise. 

Okay, he was definitely going out and getting laid tonight. He didn't care who it was as long as she was a girl and looked nothing like Kim Hansol. 

He spent the rest of the time at the pub making awkward small talk with his father and texting his friends to see if anyone else was out tonight. They were, but they were on the other side of London. He couldn't really be bothered; but honestly, he just wanted to get shitfaced, fuck some girl whose name he wouldn't even remember and forget all about his ex-best friend. 

"Right, I'm off." He stood, shoving his phone in his pocket, more than happy to be leaving his father and his friends. 

He rolled his eyes at the _'don’t make too much noise'_ comment his dad threw him as he left. It honestly baffled him that it was considered normal to act the way he did, that it was applauded, even. But sometimes it was so much easier just going with the flow and doing what everyone else did, even if he didn't really agree with it. 

He had barely been in the club his friends were at an hour when he found himself stumbling out of the building with a girl that had been grinding up on him for all of five minutes. 

"Byungjoo?"

He had the girl pressed against a wall, tongue rammed down her throat, her hands fisted in his hair, too impatient to wait for the taxi to turn up. 

"Byungjoo?"

He was sure he could make out someone saying his name, but he had done so many shots in the past half hour he figured his mind was just playing tricks on him. Plus, he was kinda busy. 

"Byungjoo!"

He sighed. Someone was actually shouting for him. 

"What?"

His eyes widened as dark, cat like eyes stared back at him. 

_Jiho?_

"Hi! I feel like I haven't seen you forever!" Why did Jiho look genuinely happy to see him? Had Hansol not told him what happened? Jiho's eyes fell on the girl wrapped around Byungjoo. "Is this your girlfriend?"

"I-uh," Byungjoo realised he hadn't even asked her name. _Fuck_. 

"Are you Jiho Shin?"

Jiho smiled, nodding softly as the girl moved from between Byungjoo and the wall to get a picture with the model before Byungjoo could even come up with some excuse to make himself look like less of a man whore. 

Whoever the girl was squealed at the newly taken selca on her phone before running off to tell her friends. Well. Looks like he wasn't getting laid tonight. 

"Oh...sorry."

Byungjoo shrugged. He wasn't all that bothered to be honest. 

"It's fine. I didn't even know her."

Jiho just nodded. Not an ounce of judgment on his features. Byungjoo shouldn't have expected any less really. 

"You wanna go get some food or something?"

Byungjoo stared back at Jiho, dumbstruck. It was such a casual request from someone he hadn't spoken to or barely seen for over six months. Why would jiho want to spend time with him after everything? Surely he knew what had happened between him and Hojoon, him and Hansol. 

"Why?"

Jiho shrugged. "Like I said, I haven't seen you for a while. It'd be nice to catch up." His eyes seemed to dull a little at Byungjoo's response. "Unless you're busy...I guess."

"No!" He didn't like the idea of Jiho feeling dejected. He didn't know why. Surely, he shouldn't care. But Jiho had been nothing but nice to him so he couldn't really say no. Plus, did he really want to be here? "No...that sounds nice."

Jiho's eyes flicked back to their usual vivid shade of black, his signature bright white smile sliding back onto his face and his fingers looped around Byungjoo's wrist, dragging the elder off down the street. It made something in Byungjoo's stomach churn. He missed that smile. 

They pretty much walked in silence; a drunken Byungjoo trying to keep up with Jiho's long strides as the model weaved through the rest of the drunk people on the street. 

"This place does the best chicken."

Byungjoo honestly didn't care; he just liked it when Jiho intertwined their fingers as he led the blonde into the restaurant. He couldn't remember the last time anyone held his hand so tenderly. 

Jiho ended up ordering for the both of them, considering Byungjoo seemed to be in some sort of trance. He couldn't stop staring at Jiho. He had bleached his hair a platinum blonde. It was a colour he had never expected the model to go, due to his weird obsession with black. He looked good though. Really good. 

"So what have you been up to?"

Byungjoo blinked. He hadn't seen Jiho for over half a year after he had a huge argument with one of his boyfriends, why was he acting like they had just seen each other last week?

"Why are you talking to me?"

Jiho tilted his head. He looked a little taken aback. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I haven't spoken to Hansol or any of you for months. Aren't you pissed off at me?"

Jiho popped a bit of fried chicken in his mouth, mulling it over as he chewed. "Not really. I have no reason to be. I kinda miss having you around."

"But I-"

"Byungjoo." Jiho's eyes locked on his own. The stern tone of his voice made Byungjoo's heart skip a beat. He had never seen Jiho like that. "I don't hold grudges, not against friends. It was ages ago. Hojoon is doing great, anyway."

Jiho didn't hold grudges but Byungjoo did. Just hearing Hojoon’s name made him a little angry. 

"You're still with him?"

"Yeah." Jiho smiled brightly, fingers toying with an iridescent stone on his index finger. That was new. Byungjoo didn't recognise it. "He's really not like Sanggyun, Byungjoo. I know you just wanted to protect us, to protect Hansol, but Hojoon just isn't like that."

Byungjoo sucked on his bottom lip at the mention of his ex-best friend. Maybe he had gotten Hojoon wrong. Maybe he shouldn't have lashed out at someone he knew was recovering from something or other. 

"Hansol really misses you."

That caught Byungjoo's attention. 

"R-really?"

"Of course he does." Jiho laughed softly. "I don't think you know how much you meant to him, Joo."

Byungjoo's eyes glassed over. He had no idea why, he wasn't a crier. He blamed the alcohol coursing through his system. He wondered if Hansol knew how much the elder meant to _him_. How he thought about him almost every day. 

"I-I always thought he'd be mad if I tried to text him or something."

Jiho sighed, reaching across to shove a handful of fries in Byungjoo's mouth, noticing the other blonde hadn't eaten yet. 

"You're staying at ours tonight. But you're gonna have to sober up first, so eat."

Byungjoo didn't even object. He honestly missed staying over at Jiho's place. And he missed Hansol more than anything. He didn't exactly want to go home anyway. 

The two of them pretty much ate in silence and before Byungjoo knew it jiho was pulling him out of the restaurant and into a taxi. He wasn't quite sure he had sobered up, considering he was going along with this. 

He really didn't know how he felt about seeing Hansol again. It made him nervous, and if he wasn't so drunk he would have probably fled and gone back home. And he definitely didn't know how he felt about seeing Hojoon again. He should really apologise. He was kind of a dick to the elder, all because he was jealous. 

His eyebrows furrowed, realising he didn't recognise any of the streets. 

"Where are we going?"

"Home."

They pulled up on some well-lit street lined with houses bigger than Byungjoo had ever seen. He didn't realise they had places like this in London; everywhere else was tiny and crowded to fit as many people as possible into the densely populated city. He didn't realise people had detached houses and huge gardens filled with colourful flowers and white picket fences. Everything else in London was so grey. 

"This- You moved?"

"Yeah, in December." Jiho beamed, smiling up at the house. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he owned it, that they all lived here. That they finally had the house of their dreams. "Not too bad, right?"

"No it's..." A wave of emptiness cane over him as he realised Hansol hadn't even mentioned it to him. That he was so detached from their lives he didn't even know they had moved - something they had been talking about since Byungjoo met them. "It's amazing."

"Come on." 

Jiho laced his fingers with Byungjoo's again, leading him down the lit path. A wave of nostalgia hit him as Jiho opened the front door. This new house smelled exactly the same as their old apartment. Vanilla and jasmine. He smiled to himself as the scent overcame him. 

God, he missed this. 

Jiho all but pulled him upstairs to what Byungjoo could only assume was his room if the scattering of crystals on the bedside table were anything to go by. 

"Everyone's probably asleep; you can see them in the morning." The model hesitated. "If you want to, anyway." 

He pushed softly at Byungjoo’s shoulders, guiding him to sit down on the bed. The elder seemed completely out of it, Jiho was glad he hadn't let him go off alone. 

"Joo, are you okay?" Jiho’s voice was soft as he settled down next to Byungjoo on the bed, fingers hesitantly stroking through his hair. He was glad that Byungjoo didn't flinch away, that was until he realised the blonde was completely unresponsive. 

This was all too much for Byungjoo to take in. Why was Jiho being so nice to him? Why had he brought him back to their home? It had been six months. He felt like he didn't deserve to be here. 

"Joo?"

Hansol was so close, in the same house. Maybe even in the room next door. His best friend he had tried so hard to forget about. 

"Hey," Jiho threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side, "you okay?"

Byungjoo leaned into the touch, ignoring his father's voice in his head. He shouldn't be here, hanging out with people like this. He had fought so hard to get his father's approval, going out of his way to be the son he wanted. 

But this felt better. He had only been back at Jiho's a matter of minutes and he already felt happier than he had in the past six months. Jiho had always accepted him for who he was, never tried to change him or force him to come out. Hansol was exactly the same. And he had thrown that all away. 

Jiho chewed on the inside of his lip at Byungjoo’s lack of response. He had never seen him like this before. 

"Come here." He lay back on his bed, pulling Byungjoo down with him. He hoped it was the right thing to do, Byungjoo could be flighty when it came to contact with other guys. His heart swelled a little as Byungjoo snuggled into him. 

"You should sleep; we can talk in the morning." 

Byungjoo nodded against Jiho’s t-shirt, tears pricking at his eyes. He didn't even know why, he just felt like he needed to cry. 

Memories of the first day he had met Jiho resurfaced, when he ended up in the model's bed as he cried over Sanggyun. He smiled to himself softly as the roles were reversed, and he was the one in Jiho’s bed crying over a boy...

Was that what he was crying about? Hansol? 

He couldn't even think straight. Jiho was right; he needed to sleep this off. Maybe things would make more sense in the morning. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo groaned as he woke up. His mouth was dry, head heavy and he felt nauseous. Fuck. He rolled over, elbow coming into contact with a warm body. Who the fuck?

"Ah! Joo, that was my face."

Byungjoo blinked a couple of times, eyes bleary due to lack of contact lenses. Jiho? Why was Jiho in his bed? Wait...this was. Why was he in Jiho's bed? 

"How you feeling? Hungover?" Jiho laughed softly. Byungjoo had really missed that smile. 

"Yes." Byungjoo whined, a pounding in the front of his skull. How much had he drank last night? He was out with his Dad then went to meet some friends. He vaguely remembered a girl, but then why wasn't he waking up next to her instead of Jiho? 

"You need food, come on."

Byungjoo allowed Jiho to pull him out of bed, too fragile to get up himself. He winced now that he was upright, headache intensifying as he used his forearm to shield his eyes from the bright lights of the hallway. This house was really pretty, he was glad Hansol had finally gotten his dream home, after everything. 

Wait...why was he wearing a long sleeved shirt? That wasn't what he had on last night. Were these...Jiho’s clothes? But why would he...they didn't... No. If course they didn't. Byungjoo wasn't into guys, and although he could admit that Jiho was attractive, and could barely remember last night, there's no way he was drunk enough to sleep with the model. Jiho must have just lent him some clothes, that's all. 

Byungjoo followed Jiho down the stairs, barely even registering his surroundings or what was going on around him. He barely paid attention to where he was, to this new house. He just wanted food and a couple of paracetamol. 

The two of them practically sat in silence as Jiho fried up some eggs and bacon, the younger making offhanded comments that Byungjoo wasn't really listening to, talking to himself almost. It wasn't that awkward though, Byungjoo had always found Jiho’s presence kind of soothing, even if they would just be sitting around doing nothing, waiting for Hansol to come home. 

He thanked Jiho’s as a plate of food was set down in front of him, hoping to god it would help with his hangover and not go the other way. The last thing he wanted was to throw up in Jiho’s house after not seeing him for so long. This almost felt like a second first impression. 

"But I'm not hungry, I just want coffee and a cigarette, let me live."

Byungjoo was too absorbed in his food and his headache to even register any voices ringing through the house. 

"You _have_ to eat, it's a Sunday. Breakfast is like...a Sunday thing."

It was almost as if he was hearing someone on TV as opposed to in the same vicinity as him. Maybe he was still a little drunk. 

"Jesus Christ you talk some shit, Jeon Hojoon." 

Byungjoo froze as he heard that name. _Shit_. That's right. Jiho lived here with his boyfriends. He would have to see them again. Taeyang; who no doubt hated him. Hojoon; well, they had a mutual hate for one another. And Hansol...his ex-best friend. 

How the fuck had he forgotten coming downstairs would result in seeing them all again? There was no way he was ready for this. 

He froze. But it was too late; they were already in the kitchen. Taeyang noticed him first, stopping in the entrance of the door, Hojoon halting directly behind him, arms wrapped around the elders waist and chin rested on his shoulder. So they were still together, then? Great. 

"Jii! Tae won't eat anything, he's bein-" Hojoon stopped mid-sentence as he turned to his model boyfriend, noticing there was someone sat next to him. Did Jiho have a one night stand last night? The very thought made his stomach flip. He knew that was okay in their relationship, but it hadn't actually happened yet. Part of him hoped it never would. 

But this guy...he looked familiar. Maybe he was a model he had seen in pictures with Jiho or something. But that didn't seem right, he wasn't really tall enough. Something nagged in the back of his mind that he knew him from somewhere else, somew-

"Byungjoo?" Hojoon’s breath hitched as Taeyang spoke up from in front of him. Byungjoo? That was Byungjoo? Fuck, he looked... "Wow, you look good."

Taeyang took the words right out of Hojoon’s mouth. Despite clearly being hungover, and in some of Jiho’s old clothes, Byungjoo did actually look really good. Hojoon would never admit that aloud, but he did. He suited the blonde hair and it was obvious from Jiho’s thin white shirt that he had been working out, despite the long sleeves. 

But why the fuck was he here? In _their_ home? After everything he had done. 

"Hey..." Byungjoo was nervous. Really nervous. Like he could throw up on the spot nervous. 

"What are you doing here?" Taeyang asked exactly what was on Hojoon’s mind, the younger being rendered speechless as his arms tightened around his boyfriend’s waist. He hadn't seen Byungjoo since they had that argument, when he said all of those hurtful things...none of them had. Hansol had a couple of times but he said he just couldn't be friends with Byungjoo anymore, not after seeing this new side to him. So what was he doing here now?

Byungjoo swallowed thickly, Taeyang's expression and voice were completely unreadable, but knowing Taeyang he was probably livid. He was notoriously protective of his boyfriends. 

"I-"

"I ran into him last night, we went for chicken then I brought him back here. He was kind of drunk so I didn't want him going home alone, and it would have been a waste of another taxi fare anyway." Jiho beamed, saving Byungjoo from having to explain himself as he threw an arm around the elder’s shoulders. "You don't mind, right?"

Taeyang’s fingers settled on top of Hojoon’s, thumb rubbing soothing circles into the back of his boyfriend’s hand. He knew exactly what Byungjoo had said to the dancer, knew exactly how it had affected him. Hojoon hadn't left the apartment for days after that, hadn't gone back to work for weeks. It was a huge blow to his self-esteem, not to mention his self-worth, and he had absolutely hated seeing Hojoon like that. Especially after what had happened with Jiwon only a few weeks prior. 

And don't even get him started on what it did to Hansol. 

"As long as Joon and Hansol don't mind, then I don't mind you being here." Taeyang could hear Hojoon’s breath, it was shallow. Really shallow. The last thing he wanted was the blonde being set back to square one. "Muffin?"

"I- uh-" Hojoon honestly had no idea how to react to this. Everything had been perfect since they moved. This house was like a new start for him. His job was going great, he'd had no problems with customers, he had been looking into going back to school, training to become a choreographer. But seeing Byungjoo again made a lot of old feelings resurface, ones he had tried to forget. 

He couldn't do it. There was no way he could sit here and have breakfast with Byungjoo. 

"I'm going out."

Taeyang practically whimpered as the warmth of his boyfriend left his back. 

"Joon, wai-"

"I'm fine." Hojoon looked Taeyang dead in the eye as the elder spun around to stop him. He was, really. Or, at least he would be if he could get out of here. "You stay; I’ll be fine, honestly." 

Byungjoo’s stomach twisted as Hojoon retreated back upstairs. He felt awful. This was Hojoon’s home not his. 

"I-I shouldn't even be here. Th-thanks for everything, Jiho bu-" He went to stand to leave when Taeyang stopped him. 

"No. Stay." Taeyang joined the two of them at the table, lighting up a cigarette. That was weird; he had never smoked indoors at their old place, unless it was out of a window. It seemed odd that he would do it in this amazing new house. "You're here now, Joon will be fine, he's not as fragile as he used to be. Plus, we should probably talk."

Taeyang seemed a lot calmer than he used to be. The Taeyang Byungjoo knew would have probably knocked him out by now, or at least screamed at him to get the fuck out. He wondered what had changed. 

That didn't make him any less intimating. In fact, this felt a little like the calm before the storm, like Taeyang was lulling him into some false sense of security only to snap. 

"Yeah, we have a lot to catch up on." Jiho smiled, standing to open a window after shooting Taeyang a look. His voice was a lot less intimidating than Taeyang's. Jiho seemed genuinely happy to see him last night, and from what he could tell that hadn't changed. That was just Jiho, though. Byungjoo was pretty sure he had never seen the younger angry; even with Sanggyun he managed to keep his cool. 

And so they did. Byungjoo told them that he hadn't really been up to much beyond finishing his final year of university; writing his dissertation and preparing for exams. He only had a month or so until he graduated and he had absolutely no idea what he was going to do with his life considering his degree was pretty useless. 

He found that Taeyang was coming to the end of his period of teacher training and would start working as an actual music teacher at a local high school in September. Maybe that's why he seemed calmer; working with kids must have softened him a little. 

And, of course, Jiho was still modelling. He told Byungjoo about the various countries he got to travel to and fashion weeks and designers he was working with, but it was all a waste of time. Byungjoo already knew. He wasn't about to admit it, but he had been following Jiho online. He had seen the younger's photoshoots and campaigns around the city; in magazines, in stores, on billboards. He had even seen him on TV once or twice. Sometimes it was hard to believe they were friends. Or, used to be, anyway. 

"And oh my god, this one shoot in Majorca - Hansol was there too - and-"

Hansol? Byungjoo zoned out as Jiho rambled on about some ridiculous thing a photographer wanted him to wear on a boat as the thought about his ex-best friend. He had tried to bury how much he missed him, but everything was bubbling back to the surface being here with Jiho and Taeyang. 

"How is Hansol?"

"He's great." Taeyang's answer was abrupt as he stood to make himself a cup of coffee. 

Jiho sighed at Taeyang's reaction; he was still as defensive as ever when it came to Hansol. 

"He's good, he really is. He's been working a lot lately, on way bigger shoots and sets than he ever did before. His work is really amazing." 

"That's good...I'm glad he's doing well." Byungjoo’s voice was small, but sincere. He really was happy that Hansol was thriving. Just because they hadn't spoken in a while didn't mean he cared any less about the elder. 

"Do you miss him?" Byungjoo flinched slightly as Taeyang's voice rang from behind him, the brunette stirring his drink before joining the two of them back at the table. 

Did he miss him? Of course he did. Hansol was the only friend he had ever really had since Sanggyun. His best friend. The person he would spend most of his time with, usually doing absolutely nothing. 

But Hansol had made his choice, and he chose Hojoon. 

"He misses you too." Byungjoo turned to Jiho with wide eyes as the younger smiled softly at him. Jiho always had this way of knowing exactly what everyone was feeling.  

"Yeah, well. He chose Hojoon over me, so..." Byungjoo shrugged his shoulders, avoiding Jiho and Taeyang's eyes. "Whatever."

"Well you did say some pretty awful things to him, Joo. You compared him to Sanggyun. You called him a _whore_ after everything he's been through." Taeyang bit back, whispering the word whore out of fear of Hojoon hearing it from upstairs. He still couldn't bear to hear that word. 

Byungjoo rolled his eyes, trying his best to stay calm. It had been six months and he was still so sick of hearing that. _He's been through a lot. After everything he's been through._ When were they going to stop defending his actions with such a pathetic excuse? Whatever happened to Hojoon didn't give him a free pass to treat people like shit. 

"I'm _so_ tired of that excuse. Okay, so he had a shitty life or something. I dunno. But that never gave him the right to try and drive me away and treat me like shit. And I'm still not buying that it's just a coincidence that you lost all your money when he turned up. I couldn't sit back and let Sanggyun fuck you over and I didn't even know you back then. Why would I let Hojoon do the same?"

Jiho and Taeyang exchanged a look. What was Byungjoo talking about? Did he not...

"Do you still not know what happened?" Taeyang quirked an eyebrow, lowering his coffee back into the table before getting to take a sip. "Did Hansol never tell you?"

"No?" That was exactly why Byungjoo was so frustrated. He and Hansol were meant to be best friends and he wouldn't even tell him this seemingly huge thing that was going on in his life. In the life of someone that moved in with them out of nowhere. "He'd just say Hojoon had had a hard time and that's why he was acting like such a bitch."

Jiho's eyes met Taeyang's for a second. They had both just assumed that Hansol had spoken to Byungjoo about all of this, they figured he must be venting to someone outside of their relationship. This was a lot to take on, after all. They also figured that's why Hansol was so mad at Byungjoo for the things he had said, because he said them with the knowledge of what had happened to Hojoon. 

Jiho sighed, a hand running through his bleached hair. He still hated talking about this, but Byungjoo deserved to know. He couldn't believe Hansol had never said anything. He was probably just trying to protect Hojoon. 

"Okay. The money...we _did_ lose it around the time Hojoon came into our lives, but it's not what you think. He's not a golddigger, Joo, he never asks me for gifts or anything and when he moved in with us, he _insisted_ on paying rent. He...he was in a lot of trouble when I met him and I used the money to help him out."

Byungjoo’s eyebrows furrowed. He honestly had no idea what Jiho was talking about. "What kind of trouble?"

"Sex trafficking."

Jiho shot Taeyang a look suggesting that maybe he should have sugar coated it a little. But when did Taeyang ever sugar coat anything? And honestly, how could anyone sugar coat that? 

"Wh-what?" Byungjoo paled. Taeyang had to be exaggerating to make him feel bad, right?

"The club he used to work at...the guy that owned it, Jiwon, well Hojoon owed him a lot of money and Jiwon essentially owned him. He abused him. A lot. He would...he made him pay it back by forcing him to sleep with people for money."

Byungjoo noticed the way Jiho’s eyes glazed over a little, the way Taeyang suddenly found his coffee very interesting. This was fucking real. He had never imagined it was anything like this, he figured maybe Hojoon had a problem with an ex or a shitty family, but nothing of this gravity. 

"Fuck." Byungjoo held his head in his hands, elbows on the table as his fingers gripped into platinum hair. He felt awful. Fucking awful. That's why Hojoon was such a mess after their argument. Why Hansol had kicked him out. Why Hojoon acted out so much. "Fuck, I feel like such a cunt. I had no idea I just-"

"You didn't know, it's not your fault." Byungjoo was surprised to hear Taeyang's voice deliver those words; he thought for sure the elder hated him. "Hansol should have told you. _We_ should have told you." He corrected himself; it wasn't just Hansol’s responsibility. 

"You were just looking out for us, after everything with Sanggyun. We should have cleared things up earlier, then maybe they wouldn't have gotten to this point. We were just trying to protect him. He was so fragile and the last thing we wanted was him taking off. I know he was never exactly nice to you, but he had finally found people that cared for him and I don't think he wanted anything to get in the way of that." Jiho placed his hand on Byungjoo’s knee, squeezing softly, just like he would with any of his boyfriends. 

Byungjoo exhaled, deeply. This was a lot to take in. "I- I don't know what to say I-" He really had no idea what he could say to make this any better. He had spent years hating Hojoon, resenting him for taking Hansol away and in turn taking Hansol’s boyfriends away. 

But he had gotten it all so wrong. 

"I need to apologise to him. H-he probably doesn't want to speak to me but I have to."

Jiho and Taeyang exchanged another look, neither of them sure if that was such a good idea. Hojoon still hadn't fully recovered from what had happened to him, he was getting there, but he was still having nightmares, still thought so little of himself. They weren't sure if Byungjoo apologising would help matters or it would just end in another explosive row. 

"I could go talk to him. See if he wants to come down." Taeyang offered. The brunette was known for holding grudges, but he knew how much Hansol missed Byungjoo, how much they all did to some extent. Maybe some closure would be good in this situation. 

Jiho agreed. One of the main reasons he had brought Byungjoo back was to resolve all of this, he missed them all hanging out. He just hoped that he had made the right decision, for Hojoon's sake. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Muffin?" Taeyang pushed open Jiho’s bedroom door, after trying Hojoon’s and his own only to find them empty. He knew Hojoon felt safest surrounded by Jiho’s things. 

He smiled softly at the mop of caramel hair shrouded in a black hoodie, muffled music that was no doubt coming from his headphones, something clenched tightly in his right hand. 

"Joon," he sat down next to his boyfriend, plucking one of the headphones out of his ear to get his full attention, "how you feeling?"

"Okay." His voice was small, tight. Taeyang could tell he had been crying. He took Hojoon’s hand in his own, tuning him to splay his fingers. He smiled softly at the dark blue crystal, flecked with gold that sat in his palm. Out of all of them, other than Jiho, Hojoon was the one that found the most comfort from crystals. 

"What's that?"

"Lapis lazuli." Hojoon stroked his thumb over it in circular motions. "Jiho said it's good for...abuse trauma."

Taeyang's heart wrenched. He knew Hojoon still found it difficult to talk about; hard to accept he'd been taken advantage of like that. 

"He said it's good for meditation too."

"Babe, I don't think you can mediate while blasting Blondie at full volume."

Hojoon laughed softly, looking up at his boyfriend. How did Taeyang always manage to make him feel better?

"Do you know what else it's good for?"

Hojoon shook his head. 

"Compassion and reconciliation." 

Hojoon furrowed his eyebrows slightly, what did that have to do with anything?

"Byungjoo wants to apologise."

"Oh." Hojoon's stomach twisted at the mention of the younger blonde. 

"He had no idea what you'd been through when he called you those things, Joon. Hansol had never told him - none of us had."

"He didn't know about Jiwon? That I was a-"

"No." Taeyang stopped him before he could even say the word. "He was just angry that Hansol chose you. I think he felt like you were trying to push him out."

Hojoon swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling very guilty. "I- I kinda was...I wanted you three all to myself. I was a total bitch to him."

He had had six months to re-evaluate what had happened, to realise that actually, he was in the wrong as well. The therapy sessions he had been going to had helped redirect his pain and anger back into dance as opposed to taking it out on others. Which was exactly what he had done with Byungjoo. 

Taeyang sighed, running his fingers through Hojoon’s honey blonde locks. "So, do you want to go see him?"

Hojoon blinked a couple of times. He wasn't entirely sure he was ready for that, memories of Byungjoo shouting at him still fresh in his mind. But maybe it would be good. His therapist had mentioned that holding grudges would be detrimental to his recovery. It could be like a new start or something. 

And maybe Hansol could get his friend back. 

"Yeah, sure."

He took Taeyang's hand, the lapis lazuli stone firmly gripped in his other as he followed his boyfriend downstairs. 

He squeezed Taeyang's hand as they reached the kitchen, as he saw Byungjoo. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 

"Hojoon." Byungjoo stood out of his seat as soon as he saw the dancer, eyes wide. "I'm-"

"We should talk properly...in the living room." Hojoon wasn't sure where this voice came from, but he felt it was best to do this on his own, without his boyfriends. They had a lot to talk about, after all. 

"Y-yeah, okay." 

Byungjoo followed Hojoon into their front room, unable to miss the way the elder curled in on himself as he sat down, shrunk back into the oversized hoodie he could only assume was Jiho’s. This wasn't the obnoxious, arrogant, Hojoon he was used to. 

"I'm-"

"I wa-"

The two of them laughed softly as they tried to speak at the same time, determined to apologise to one another. 

"You go first."

Byungjoo took a deep breath, trying to fully take in everything Jiho had told him after Taeyang went upstairs to see Hojoon. He had filled Byungjoo in on the details, and honestly, they had knocked him sick. 

"Look, I'm really sorry for what I said that day. I had no idea you'd been through all of that - Jiho and Taeyang just told me now - and I know that doesn't make it okay, I shouldn't have said it anyway, but I just- I-" He was meant to be apologising but he still wanted to make excuses for himself. Maybe he should just leave it there. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Hojoon was silent for a little longer than Byungjoo felt comfortable with. He couldn't tell if the other blonde was going to explode or cry again. 

"I'm sorry too."

Byungjoo blanched. He- What? That was the last thing he expected. An apology?

"I was jealous. I wanted Hansol, Jiho and Tae all to myself and I was a total dick to you to try to drive you away and, I guess it worked... But I shouldn't have done that. I don't really blame you for snapping at me. I think I took a lot of my anger out on you cause you were an easy target."

This was so unlike the Hojoon he used to know. He seemed calmer, more at peace with himself. But there was an obvious vulnerability there, one that was always there, but Hojoon had masked it with dickish behaviour. He was more of an open book now, Byungjoo felt like he could read him better. 

"I guess we both messed up, huh?"

Hojoon smiled softly to himself, flipping the royal blue stone between his fingers. "Yeah, we did, but...maybe we can start afresh or something? I know they've all missed you and I don't want to be the thing coming between you guys anymore."

"Yeah, that'd be great." Byungjoo had never expected another run in with Hojoon to be like this, for it to go so smoothly. And he had definitely never expected Hojoon to allow him to be friends with everyone again. This all seemed so surreal. "Maybe...maybe we could be friends too?"

Hojoon felt his face heat up. Other than Hansol he didn't exactly have any friends. He had people he worked with but he wasn't sure he'd class them as _friends_. 

"Yeah." He couldn't stop the wide grin from cracking onto his face. Maybe Byungjoo wasn't that bad, after all. "I’d like that."

The two of them talked through things, talked about what they'd been up to since they last saw one another. Byungjoo left out his string of one night stands, fearing it would make Hojoon uncomfortable, considering. 

This felt...nice, actually. Neither of them expected to be talking so causally with one another. Laughing and smiling. Maybe they could be friends. 

Hojoon turned to the arched doorway as the front door clicked shut, wondering if Jiho or Taeyang had gone out. That was, until a small figure with shoulder blade length black hair appeared, turning to face them, eyes wide. 

"Hansollie! What are you doing home so early?"

Hansol gaped. Was that...? 

"What the fuck is he doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok maybe there's just a lil bit of angst


	9. Friends Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go guys u know I love feeding u well so here's another NICE chapter (what???) with very little angst (WHAT???)  
> pls enjoy and as always this is probably full of typos cause I hate editing sorry

Hojoon's breath caught in his throat as Hansol and Byungjoo stared at each other. He could cut the tension with a knife. This wasn't at all how he would have imagined their reconciliation. 

"Uh...I'm uh- I'm gonna go see Jiho." He excused himself, practically legging it out of the room as he ignored Hansol’s abrupt question. There was no way he was getting caught up in this. 

Byungjoo barely even noticed Hojoon's exit, he couldn't take his eyes off Hansol. He looked so...good. 

In the years he had known Hansol, he had never seen him with dark hair before. He was so used to him being blonde it was a shock, but he actually really suited it. And the length...had his hair grew that fast in just six months? Surely not. It looked good on him though. He had never really thought much about longer hair on a guy, but Hansol pulled it off really well. 

"Hey." Byungjoo inwardly cursed himself for his voice cracking. For fucks sake. 

"I'm serious. What are you doing here?"

Byungjoo’s blood ran cold; he hadn't heard that tone since the day he and Hojoon argued. He hated seeing Hansol like this, it was so unlike him. 

"I-I ran into Jiho last night, he-" He had no idea why he was so nervous, Hansol used to be his best friend. "He brought me home- to, uh- your home- a-and-"

"Why were you talking to Hojoon? What did you say to him this time? He looked upset." Hansol was automatically protective of the dancer ever since what had happened the last time they were together. He hated Byungjoo for what he had said to Hojoon, how he made him feel. Just because they were best friends once upon a time didn't mean anything to him when it came to Hojoon. 

"He wasn't, we- I apologised. We talked. We're good now."

Hansol’s eyes narrowed. He wasn't so sure Hojoon would just forgive Byungjoo like that, but he was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He threw his bag on the floor, taking Hojoon’s place on the sofa. 

"It took you six months to apologise for calling him a golddigging whore? Do you have any idea how hard that was for him?"

Byungjoo winced, another wave of guilt washing over him. He had already been through all of this with the other three. 

"I do know. I know _now_. You never told me what he'd been through before, Hansol. I didn't know. I didn't call him that because of what that Jiwon guy had done to him, it was just an assumption. I mean- With his job and the money and everything. He- Why didn't you just tell me? I would have understood why he acted the way he did. I thought he was just a straight up bitch."

Hansol let out a deep breath, avoiding Byungjoo’s gaze. Maybe this was his fault. He should have let Byungjoo know what was going on but he was just so worried about how Hojoon would react to anyone else knowing. 

"He was just so flighty back then I was scared to tell you. He didn't want people knowing what he'd been through. He- he hates being seen as weak and vulnerable. It wasn't my thing to tell, Joo." He sighed again, looking down at his hands. "I was just trying to protect him. I never wanted to choose between you, but you gave me no choice."

Byungjoo’s line of sight followed Hansol’s, down to his hands. He was right. He had spent so many months being angry at Hansol for choosing Hojoon over him, angry at Hojoon for...for being Hojoon. But all along Hansol had done what he thought was best. Hojoon's mental state was more important to him than Byungjoo’s ego. 

"It's okay. Really. I- I understand. He needed you more than I did. I get that." He couldn't help but feel a little abandoned, but he really did understand. 

Hansol bit down on his bottom lip, tears surfacing. He had honestly never expected to see Byungjoo again, and when he did all he felt was anger. Anger for what he had done to Hojoon, anger for the way things ended, anger at himself for letting Byungjoo get away. 

He missed him. Ultimately, he missed him so fucking much. 

He looked back up at his ex-best friend, eyes watery. He couldn't stay mad at Byungjoo, he really couldn't. He felt like they had missed out on so much, like a part of him had been missing over the past six months. A part he wanted back. 

"I'm sorry." His voice wavered, all of his emotions bubbling to the surface at once. "I hated that we weren't talking and I missed you so much but my initial reaction was to be angry at you an-"

"Hansol, its fine." Byungjoo smiled, shuffling closer as Hansol sniffled. Great, he probably looked like a total mess. "I hated it too. I missed you too. I just- I want us to be friends again...if that's what you want?"

Hansol nodded softly, laughing through his tears. That was exactly what he wanted. He knew Byungjoo wasn't really that person, it was just a build-up of everything with Hojoon and feeling out of the loop and he had snapped. It could happen to anyone, he was only human after all. 

Maybe if he had just told Byungjoo what was going on at the time none of this would have happened. By there was no use dwelling over the past, he could start anew. All of them. 

"I'd love that."

"Come'ere." Byungjoo opened out his arms, inviting Hansol in for a hug. He hoped it wasn't too soon, they had only just made up. He laughed as Hansol launched at him, arms wrapping around his waist. Of course it wasn't too soon. This was _Hansol_ he was talking about. The king of human contact and cuddles. As if he would every refuse one from Byungjoo. 

"You hair looks nice." Hansol whispered against Byungjoo’s shoulder. He had never seen the younger with anything other than dark hair but he looked absolutely gorgeous blonde. 

"So does yours." Byungjoo chuckled, fingers stroking through Hansol’s long, jet back hair. 

Something stirred inside of him. Memories of all the weird dreams and thoughts he had had about Hansol piling up in his mind now he could feel the other boy, now he could smell him. There was nothing he wanted more than to grab hold of Hansol’s face and kiss him passionately on the lips. That would really get his point across. 

But...what point? What was he even talking about? Why the fuck would he want to kiss Hansol? Even though he had really nice lips and deserved to be kissed when he was crying... _No, Byungjoo. Stop it. You're friends again; don't ruin that by being an idiot._

Maybe it was just the long hair. That was it. It had to be. What other possible explanation could there be for what he was feeling? It's not like he was gay. Pfft, no. Of course not. It was the hair. 

"So..." Hansol pulled back, eyes locking with Byungjoo’s. "Friends?"

Byungjoo smiled, nodding. 

"Friends."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"She's cute." 

Hansol was laid in bed with Byungjoo, scrolling through some dating app on the younger's phone. 

"Eh, she's okay."

Hansol rolled his eyes for what felt like the thirteenth time that night. He had no idea Byungjoo was so picky, though, that would explain why he had never actually dated anyone in the two and a half years Hansol had known him. 

Their friendship was back on track, almost as if nothing had ever happened. Byungjoo and Hojoon seemed to get on fine now, they weren't exactly close friends, didn't spend much time together alone, but they were at least civil with each other now. Hansol didn't feel like he was stuck in between them anymore. 

"Well, maybe she has a nice personality. You can't judge people just on their pictures, Joo."

Byungjoo gave him a _'bitch, really?'_ sort of look, snatching his phone back. Maybe getting his gay best friend to help him look for a girl to bang wasn't the best idea. "Hansol, it's a hook-up app. She could be the most awful person in the world, I really don't care. I'm not planning on marrying her."

Hansol frowned. He wasn't exactly against one night stands, he had plenty before he met Jiho and Taeyang, but he couldn't believe Byungjoo had no interest in finding an actual girlfriend at all. 

"Don't you want a relationship?"

Byungjoo hummed, scrolling through the matches he had gotten on the app. "Not really. I just want someone to sleep with."

That was a lie. He'd love a relationship. He always got this sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he came over to Hansol’s. The four of them were so in love, besotted with one another.

He longed to be held like Jiho held Hansol. He craved the giggly kisses Taeyang and Hojoon shared as they curled up on the sofa for a night in. He would absolutely love to wake up with someone in his arms every morning, the same someone, not some random girl who had plastered herself to him during the night after a quick fuck. He wanted exactly what they all had. Maybe not with as many people, but he wanted someone to love him. 

The only problem was he wasn't sure who he wanted that with...or if it was even with a girl. 

He had considered dating, like a normal person, but he hated he whole ordeal. It would take years to get to the point that his friends were, and what if he wasted months on some girl that didn't turn out to be the one? He didn't want to get to know someone, figure out whether he even liked them or not. He wanted to be past that point already. Maybe fall in love with a friend. That seemed like the perfect option for him. Going from friends to lovers, instead of getting to know someone new. 

At least, that's what he told himself every time he'd wake up with Hansol curled into his side and get a wave of butterflies. Every time Hansol fell asleep during a movie, head rested on his shoulder and he had to fight the urge to kiss him on the forehead. Every time Hansol-

"Hey." The door pushed open, Hojoon’s head popping around the corner. "What are you two up to?"

"Trying to find someone for Byungjoo to bang." Hansol replied, as nonchalant as he could. Honestly, it bothered him. Not because his best friend was sleeping around, but because the feelings he had for Byungjoo, the ones he had repressed, were creeping back up. He didn't exactly want to set up the guy he had a crush on with someone else. 

Hojoon stifled a witty comeback, he was trying to be as nice as possible to Byungjoo, because he did actually like the other blonde, he was just so easy to make fun of he couldn't help himself sometimes. 

"Let me see." 

Hojoon settled himself down on the bed next to Hansol reaching across to take Byungjoo’s phone from him. Byungjoo couldn't help but focus on the way Hansol’s arm automatically wrapped around Hojoon’s shoulders as the dancer snuggled into his side, head rested on Hansol’s chest. 

The two of them were close. Really close. Hansol often referred to Hojoon as his best friend now, instead of Byungjoo. It got to him, but he could understand it. He lived with Hojoon, whereas he hadn't spoken to Byungjoo for an entire six months. It was no surprise that they were closer than he and Hansol were. 

He still couldn't help but feel a little jealous. However, he wasn't sure if that was because he wanted to be Hansol’s best friend, or something more than that. This nagging little voice in the back of his head kept suggesting it, the idea of them as a couple, but he would always silence it. He wasn't gay and that was that. 

That's why he was so desperate to find a girl to sleep with. Because that's what straight boys do. 

"What about her?" Hojoon turned the screen back to Byungjoo, a picture of a girl with lilac hair and a septum piercing in a top that showed off more than enough cleavage. "She looks like she'd be fun."

Byungjoo took the phone from Hojoon, flicking through her other pictures. She seemed to have a different hair colour in every one, and tattoos covering her entire left arm. She did look fun. How did Hojoon have such good taste in girls? 

"Message her." Hansol nudged him, noticing how long he'd been staring at the pictures. 

Byungjoo’s thumb hovered over the direct message button. Should he? After all, he was just fooling himself, trying to cover this weird feeling he'd been having for Hansol. Not to mention the wet dreams. They were by far the worst. Thank god he'd never had one in Hansol’s bed. 

He heard a giggling beside him as he deliberated over whether he should contact the girl or not. Hansol had both of his arms wrapped around Hojoon at this point, stopping the elder from being able to use his arms as he tried to crane his neck far up enough to kiss Hansol. 

Byungjoo was just about to tear his eyes away when he succeeded. It was gentle, just a peck on the lips before Hansol pulled back giggling. Just a soft kiss between friends. 

But then Hansol leaned back in, capturing Hojoon’s lips in his own, grip on the blonde loosening so Hojoon’s fingers could creep up to Hansol’s chest, toying with the ends of his extensions. 

Byungjoo flushed. What the- Were they a thing now? Hansol had never mentioned anything, and it had been a good month since they began speaking again. Surely he would have told Byungjoo if he and Hojoon were together. _Someone_ would have told him. 

"Did you message her then?" Hansol asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. As if he hadn't just been kissing his boyfriends boyfriend...or whatever Hojoon was to him. 

"Wh- Oh, uh-" He hadn't, but after that he was going to. The overwhelming sense of jealously that flooded over him was making him feel nauseous. He didn't _want_ to feel jealous of Hojoon kissing Hansol...but how come Hojoon got to kiss Hansol and he didn't? "Yeah, just waiting to see if she replies."

"She will, you're pretty hot, I guess." Hojoon smiled, nuzzling back into Hansol's chest. 

Byungjoo smiled back, weakly. He tried to concentrate on his phone, actually messaging the girl as Hansol and Hojoon talked quietly between themselves. But he could still see them out of the corner of his eye. They were so touchy with one another, way more than normal friends were. Maybe they really were a couple. They obviously felt something for one another. It made him feel a little sick. 

He was just about to excuse himself, maybe go home when Hojoon spoke up. 

"I'm gonna see if Tae's home yet." He stood up, stretching before leaning back down to press a kiss to the tip of Hansol’s nose. "See you two later."

"See you later, baby." Hansol called back as Hojoon left, a wide grin on his face. 

 _Baby_. Byungjoo’s heart dropped. Hansol already had two boyfriends, Byungjoo didn't know why the fact he clearly had a third was bothering him so much. Maybe it was because Hansol had never told him. Or maybe it was because he wasn't the third. 

_Don't be so ridiculous, Byungjoo._

"You okay?"

Hansol was staring at him, eyebrows furrowed, concern written all over his pretty features. 

_Pretty? Seriously? Get your shit together._

"Hm? Oh, yeah, fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you still have a problem with Hojoon? You seemed off ever since he came in an-"

"No!" Byungjoo stopped Hansol before he could continue because that wasn't it at all. He genuinely liked Hojoon now. "It's not that, we're fine now."

"Then what? Did she reject you?"

"Hn?" Who was Hansol talking about? Oh! The girl from the app. He checked his messages, but she hadn't even seen it yet. "Nah, no reply."

"So what's up?" Hansol rolled so he was on his side, so he was looking at Byungjoo. The younger seemed quiet. 

Byungjoo chewed on the inside of his cheek. Should he tell Hansol? The last time they kept secrets from each other it ended terribly, he just wasn't sure how to put it without sounding ridiculous. 

"Are you and Hojoon together?"

"Together? Like a couple?"

Byungjoo nodded. 

Hansol laughed, making Byungjoo flush. It wasn't that stupid of a question, was it?

"God, no. Could you imagine? We'd kill each other. I love him; I really do, but not like that. I could never date him or anything." He noticed Byungjoo’s reddened skin. Had them kissing before made him uncomfortable? But then he noticed the breath Byungjoo let out, as if he had been holding it in. Was he-

"Are you jealous?"

"What?!" Byungjoo’s eyes were wide. Was he really that transparent? "N-no, of course not what would I be jealous of?"

Byungjoo was stuttering, laughing nervously, avoiding eye contact. Hansol had just been joking about the jealousy thing, but Byungjoo really was, wasn't he?

"Oh my god you are!" Hansol smacked Byungjoo’s arm in jest. "Why? Is it cause he's, like, my best friend now? Because you were away for a long time Joo, I can have two best friends, you know?"

"I-it's not that, I don't mind, really-"

"Or is it cause I was kissing him?" He joked again. He hated seeing Byungjoo like this and he knew that laughing usually lifted the mood when it come to them. 

But Byungjoo was just silent. Staring vacantly at his phone. 

"Joo...is- Do you want me to be like that with you? How I am with Hojoon?"

That seemed to catch his attention, daring to look up at Hansol. This felt so stupid. He didn't want to admit it, but he really did want to be that close to Hansol again, even closer than they were before everything happened. 

"I- Yeah...I mean, you two are so close it- it looks nice. I miss cuddling with you and stuff, I guess." His voice was small, not wanting to hear himself say those words aloud. He couldn't even imagine the look on his father’s face if he heard what he was saying. He didn't even know his son was friends with Hansol again. 

Hansol’s heart skipped a beat. He had been trying to keep his feelings for Byungjoo at bay, not wanting to scare his friend away after getting him back for so long. 

"Oh...Well, we can cuddle more if you like." Hansol knew his cheeks were probably tinted pink at the thought as he inched closer to Byungjoo, snuggling into his side. "Are-are you sure you're okay with that? You used to be kinda..."

"I-" Hansol was right, Byungjoo used to be really flighty when it came to skinship with the other. But honestly, while they had been apart, he had craved Hansol’s touch. It was just the small things. "No, I'm okay with that now. I actually missed you cuddling into me while we weren't talking."

Hansol smiled, blush deepening. "I missed it too."

He hesitantly wrapped his arm around Byungjoo’s waist. They hadn't been that close since they made up and Hansol had been dying to cuddle back into the blonde. He let his eyes flutter shut as he rested his head on Byungjoo’s chest. 

This felt...right. Perfect, almost. 

Hansol let his mind wander as Byungjoo’s arm snaked around his shoulders. He could definitely get used to this. He was glad that Byungjoo seemed more comfortable in himself now, less scared of being close to other guys. He nuzzled his face further into Byungjoo’s shirt, eyes snapping open as he heard how fast the younger's heart was beating. Why was he...he didn't dare to look up at Byungjoo, not wanting to ruin the moment, praying his own rapid heartbeat wouldn't be obvious through their t-shirts. 

Byungjoo swallowed thickly as Hansol snuggled further into his hold. He knew fine well his face was bright red, but thankfully no one could see. They were just cuddling, it was no big deal. Why was he so flustered all of a sudden? This was nice. Really nice. He liked having Hansol in his arms...for some reason. 

He didn't want to stop, but part of him was screaming that he should. That this was wrong. That friends shouldn't do stuff like this. That straight guys shouldn't do stuff like this. 

But he blocked it out. 

He was way too content right now, cuddling with his best friend. His gay best friend. His adorable gay best friend who had the cutest laugh and most radiant smile and poutiest lips and softest hands that begged to be held and-

He jumped, snapping out of his thoughts as Hansol moved against him, whining softly. He must have fallen asleep, a slight smile creeping into Byungjoo’s lips. Cute. 

He stroked his fingers through Hansol’s long hair, absentmindedly thinking about how lucky Jiho and Taeyang were. They got this every day, every night. They could cuddle and kiss Hansol whenever they wanted, because he was theirs. They got all of him, all of his love. They got to comfort him and celebrate with him and look after him when he was sick. They got to fall asleep with the most perfect boy in the world, got to wake up to his face smushed into the pillow next to them. They-

Byungjoo took a shuddering breath. He hadn't even realised that his eyes were teary. 

But why? What had he even been thinking about? Why did he have butterflies - again? Why did Taeyang and Jiho's relationship with Hansol make him so emotional? Sure, he was happy for them, but not happy enough to cry over it. 

Unless... No. There was no way. 

He felt something stir inside him as he dared to look back down at Hansol’s sleeping form. A knot in his stomach - much worse than the butterflies. 

"Fuck."

He was in love with his best friend. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"So, things have been okay with you two lately?"

Hansol nodded, tightening the silk ties that were binding Jiho's wrists together. "Yeah, I mean- those aren't too tight are they?" He smiled as Jiho shook his head. "We're really close again and stuff, but I dunno...I feel like- I dunno."

Jiho cocked his head, Hansol didn't sound too convincing. Was he sure everything was okay between him and Byungjoo? 

"Kitten, what's going on?" Jiho lifted his black silk clad wrists over Hansol’s head, arms loosely draped over his shoulders, bound at the nape of his neck. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

Hansol avoided Jiho's gaze, staring down at Jiho's bare chest from his position, straddling the younger's thighs. 

"Yeah...but I feel like he likes me back. I dunno what it is; I can just feel it, Jii."

Jiho hummed as Hansol released himself from Jiho's loose hug, reaching over to look for something in his bedside drawer. Jiho had picked up on the two of them being more affectionate with one another, but until Hansol had said that he honestly hadn't thought anything of it. 

"Maybe you should tell him."

Hansol quirked an eyebrow as he turned back to Jiho, a bottle of lube in one hand, a silicone cock ring in the other, silently asking what he was taking about. 

Jiho stifled a groan at the sight of the toy, he really hated cock rings, but he knew complaining aloud would just make things worse. 

"That you like him. Maybe you should tell him."

"Are you kidding?" Hansol poured some of the lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up a little, before smothering Jiho's cock in the liquid. "Jiho, he's straight. I'd lose him if I confessed."

Byungjoo had still been sleeping with girl after girl, but he still hadn't even attempted to find a relationship. Hansol didn't really understand it, but who was he to judge? He had two boyfriends. He slipped the cockring onto Jiho before he got too hard, smirking at the disgruntled expression on his boyfriends face. 

"Okay, but-" Jiho shifted slightly on the bed as Hansol forced his arms up above his head, securing them to the headboard. "You know what happened the last time you kept something from him, Hansol. You guys didn't speak for six months."

"That was different." Hansol sighed, fingers trailing down Jiho's arms to make sure he was comfortable. He wanted him to be restrained, not to pull a muscle. "This would massively affect our friendship."

"Maybe. But that might be a good thing. You could be more than friends."

Hansol poured more lube on his fingers, just taking a moment to think about that. More than friends? That would be...perfect. He really liked Byungjoo. He would love to be the one he texted to come over instead of all of those girls, he'd love to be the one he'd press up against a wall in a night club, he'd love Byungjoo to want him back. But...

"That's never going to happen, Jiho." Hansol shuffled back, repositioning himself between Jiho's thighs, forcing the younger to spread his legs with an inquisitive look on his face. "I feel like...even if he does like me, he's too scared to come out."

"What's there to be sc- Ah! Hansol!" Jiho's head lulled back against the headboard as Hansol slipped a finger inside of him. He should have seen it coming, really, but the amused smirk on Hansol’s face read that the elder was glad he hadn't suspected a thing. He suppressed a pout; Hansol was always so mean to him when they switched roles. 

Jiho managed to stabilise his breathing, despite Hansol adding another finger and scissoring him open. "Kitten- Ah- I don't understand what he's scared of, he spends enough time with us all to know there's nothing wrong with being gay."

Hansol twisted his face, crooking his fingers inside Jiho and earning himself a moan from the younger. "Well, don't you think he would have been with a guy before if he was interested in them?"

"Maybe he's waiting for you."

Hansol stopped moving his fingers, leaving Jiho whimpering softly. 

"You think?"

Jiho nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. He did think that, but he also wanted Hansol to pick up where he left off. 

"Huh..." Hansol seemed to be in a daze, sliding his fingers out of Jiho and wiping them on the bed covers, his boyfriend looking at him with wide eyes, desperate for more. 

"Hanso-"

He held his hand up, signalling for Jiho to be quiet. They may have just been having a casual chat while Hansol prepared him, but he was the one in control here. 

He thought. About Byungjoo. About how affectionate they were now, anyone would think they were dating. Byungjoo didn't even freak out if Hansol kissed him on the forehead. He thought about how the younger's heart rate seemed to increase whenever they were close, how his face would heat up and turn an adorable shade of red. How his speech and hands would become nervous and jittery. How...

Did Byungjoo actually like him? Like, like-like him?

"You really think I should tell him?"

Jiho nodded softly. "I mean- He's never going to say anything first, Sollie, and I'm pretty sure he must feel something for you. Maybe it's not even sexual, just romantic. But...if we're wrong, and he doesn't, I'm pretty sure that after everything that's happened, your friendship will survive it."

Hansol smiled softly. His boyfriend was totally naked, tied to the bed, fully erect and was still giving him relationship advice. 

Jiho was right. He should tell him. It wasn't fair on either of them anymore. He couldn't keep pretending he just liked Byungjoo as a friend while they were spooning and Hansol was fantasising about them being together. 

"Okay." Hansol reached back across to the bedside drawer to grab something, something black that jiho couldn't see properly. Great, what did Hansol have in store for him this time? "I'll do it. I'm gonna tell him."

A smile cracked onto Hansol’s face, one that Jiho mirrored instantly. He just had a feeling that this was the right thing to do. 

"Thank you for helping me figure things out, Peaches." Hansol leaned in to peck Jiho on the lips. That was the more gentle he planned on being with his boyfriend tonight. 

He sat back on his heels, leaving Jiho wanting more. 

"Now." Hansol’s tone of voice changed, sending chills down Jiho's spine. He watched as the elder reached into the lace panties he was wearing, pulling out his cock and working it to full hardness. Jiho automatically spread his legs. It wasn't often that he found himself in this position, when he felt submissive and Hansol felt dominant at the same time. But he fucking loved it. "Enough about Byungjoo."

"Hansol." He whimpered, hips rising off the bed ever so slightly, offering himself up to the dark haired boy. 

Hansol quirked an eyebrow. "That's not my name."

He sat up on his knees so he was about eyelevel with Jiho, pulling out more black silk from behind his back. He folded it over a few times; making sure it was fully opaque before placing it over Jiho's eyes. Jiho gasped as one of his senses was taken away from him. He loved watching Hansol dominate him, but he knew fine well this would make everything feel _so_ much better. 

Hansol slapped Jiho's inner thigh as the younger didn't respond to what he had said. Didn't apologise. Jiho was too wrapped up in what was about to come to even pay attention properly. He whimpered out a small 'sorry' as Hansol slapped him again. 

"Jiho, baby." He shivered as Hansol spoke directly into his ear, not expecting him to be so close. "You've been so good helping me out with all this Byungjoo stuff today. I don't want to punish you tonight, Peaches, so be a good boy and call me by my proper name."

Jiho let out a breath his didn't even realise he was holding in. He felt so vulnerable like this. Like Hansol could do whatever he wanted and he would have no idea because he couldn't see a fucking thing. But, god, he loved it. 

But the last thing he wanted was to be punished. He already had a cockring on; Hansol clearly wasn't planning on going easy on him tonight. He didn't want to add to that. 

"S-sorry, Mistress."

Hansol smirked at the title. That was more like it. 

"Good boy." He whispered, rubbing soothing circles into Jiho's thigh, where he had hit him before. All thoughts of Byungjoo were now out of his mind, it was time for him to focus on Jiho. 

"You're going to be screaming that by the time I'm done with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IS THIS?? PROGRESS??  
> BYUNGJOO ACTUALLY REALISING THAT HE MIGHT BE A LIL BIT GAY??  
> hansol being dominant is my kink ok


	10. Almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IS THIS?? THIS IT FINALLY HAPPENING!!!??? ARE THEY GONNA-??

"The aim of the game isn't to crash, you know."

"I'm trying!" Hansol whined, nudging Byungjoo with his elbow. "It's hard."

They had been playing some racing game on Jiho's Xbox for almost an hour and Hansol was yet to complete a lap without crashing into either Byungjoo or a wall. 

"I'm not surprised you failed your test four times." Byungjoo scoffed, setting up another game for them. 

"Hey!" Hansol nudged him again, harder this time. He had only failed on couple of minor faults. This was nothing like real driving, anyway. "You failed too."

"That wasn't my fault; an ambulance ruined my test route." Byungjoo was pretty sure he would have passed if his instructor didn't have to grab the wheel to stop him from ploughing into it. 

"Nah. You're just as shitty, I'd never get into a car with you."

Byungjoo turned to his best friend, a scandalised look on his face. "Rude. When I pass next week I'm not taking you anywhere. I'll make you get the tube."

"Good, I'll be less likely to die." Hansol smirked to himself, picking out which car he wanted to try crashing next. 

The smirk was soon wiped off his face when a handful of popcorn came into contact with his cheek, most of it falling down the front of his shirt. 

"Oh you did not-"

Hansol reached across to grab a handful of his own popcorn to throw back at the younger, but his reflexes weren't quick enough and Byungjoo moved the bowl out of the way, causing him to fall into his best friends lap. 

Byungjoo laughed obnoxiously, holding the bowl even further out of Hansol’s reach. "Aw, your arms are so tiny."

Hansol huffed, rolling onto his back to look up at Byungjoo’s, arms folded tightly across his chest. "You're like, an inch taller than me." 

"Two inches." He corrected, brushing a couple of stray strands of hair from Hansol’s face as the elder tried and failed to move them by blowing out of the corner of his mouth. "Apart from Jiho, I'm the tallest person in this house. You're all fucking tiny." 

Hansol’s eyes narrowed. He stuck his tongue out childishly, making Byungjoo laugh and giving him just enough time to reach across to the table and grab a muffin, which he instantly smushed into Byungjoo’s hair. 

"See, my arms aren't that tiny."

Byungjoo gaped, chocolate caked into his blonde hair as Hansol giggled in his lap, before deciding it would probably be better to sit up straight for when Byungjoo finally snapped out of it and retaliated. 

"You little bitch."

Byungjoo practically pounced in Hansol, pinning him to the arm of the sofa. Hansol’s reactions were quicker this time, catching Byungjoo’s wrists and shrieking excitedly as they two of them wrestled. What over, they weren't sure, but they were having fun. Way more fun than playing that stupid Xbox game. 

In the midst of it all Byungjoo had managed to grab a handful of the cake from his hair and smothered it on Hansol’s face, while Hansol had thrown the remanence of a glass of water over Byungjoo’s shirt. 

Somehow, they ended up on the floor, Byungjoo’s gym sessions paying off as he had Hansol trapped underneath him. 

Then everything seemed to...stop. 

Their faces only centimetres from one another, lips practically touching, faces heating up, everything that they both felt for one another bubbling to the surface. 

They stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity, breath hitched; both too scared to make the first move, unsure of how the other would react if they did make a move. 

_Fuck it._

Hansol leaned up, catching Byungjoo’s lips in his own. He couldn't stand it anymore. The tension. He didn't know if it was romantic or sexual or even just sheer awkwardness. But he had to do something about it, and in the heat of the moment, this seemed like the best option. 

Especially when Byungjoo kissed him back. 

Byungjoo leaned into the kiss, lips moving against Hansol’s. This felt...so right. Perfect even. It wasn't the first time they had kissed, but it was the first time Byungjoo had reciprocated it. 

He let all of his insecurities slip away. The internalised homophobia. The years of bullying. The fear of losing his best friend... Again. 

The kiss was far from tender or hesitant. It was hungry. They both needed this. Had been waiting for it for far too long. Tongues lapping. Teeth clashing. Bodies flush against one another. Fingers fisting in hair. 

Hansol moaned into Byungjoo’s mouth as the younger's hips rolled against his own. 

_Holy fuck._

This was actually happening. 

"Joo-" He managed to gasp out as the two of them briefly parted for breath, but Byungjoo couldn't seem to get enough, lips crashing back down on his own. 

"Joo!" He laughed out, fingers tugging into blonde hair to get the younger to pull back a little, just so he could speak. "God- I've wanted this for so long."

A smile broke out on Byungjoo’s face. _Fuck_. Hansol was really okay with this. He wanted this. This wasn't just a one-sided thing. 

"Me too."

Relief washed across Hansol’s features. Their friendship wasn't ruined. Jiho was right. Telling Byungjoo was the best option. And now he was here, underneath his best friend, his crush, kissing him. 

"Kiss me again."

Byungjoo didn't need to be told twice, Hansol’s lips really were as soft and plush as they looked. But he needed more. His hands made their way to Hansol’s waist, hesitantly holding onto him. 

Hansol instinctively spread his legs and Byungjoo took that as a signal to grip tighter onto his waist, hips rutting down. He could feel both himself and Hansol growing hard beneath him as he moved, but it didn't freak him out as much as he thought it would. 

It actually felt really good. And Hansol’s soft moans backed that up. 

He was suddenly really hot, a mixture of rocking against Hansol and the entire situation causing his body to flush. 

"Fuck it." He mumbled as he sat up, leaving a panting Hansol staring up at him from his position on the floor. 

Hansol’s eyes widened as Byungjoo ripped his t-shirt off in one swift movement. He knew Byungjoo worked out, but...wow. The younger never really got topless in front of him, and although he was proud of his body he wasn't the type to show it off so he hadn't realised just how perfect the younger's physique was. 

His fingers ghosted over Byungjoo’s abs, breath catching in his throat as they contracted under his touch. 

Byungjoo smirked, taking the chance to grind down against Hansol while he was fascinated. And grind down hard. 

"Ohmygod." Hansol gasped out in one breath, his words all merging into one. He couldn't take much more of this, raising his hips up off the floor, offering himself up to Byungjoo. He wanted this so bad. Needed it. 

Byungjoo read the signal, it was pretty hard to miss, and he wasn't exactly going to say no to a very needy Hansol sprawled out on the floor in front of him. He had had way too many dreams like this, and they were finally coming true. 

He latched back onto Hansol’s lips, tongue delving into his mouth, the elder’s nails raking down his abs, hips rocking in tandem. _Fuck_. He was so fucking hard. He slipped his hands under Hansol’s shirt, leaving a trail of fire in his wake on pale skin as they ran all over his torso. He couldn't get enough. 

But Hansol was getting impatient. His fingers trailed down from Byungjoo’s abs to the waistline of his jeans, popping one button open as a test, just to make sure that was what Byungjoo wanted. 

He took the throaty moan from the blonde as a sign to keep going, undoing the rest so he could slide his hand in, cupping Byungjoo’s bulge over his tight boxers. 

Byungjoo moaned again as Hansol palmed him, gyrating against the elder to increase the friction he was so desperate for. 

"Fuck- Hansol!" Byungjoo panted, breaking the kiss for the first time in what felt like forever. He could barely catch his breath with Hansol’s hands on him. 

"Joo...touch me." Hansol was just as breathless, lips parted, voice small and tight with want. He needed Byungjoo to touch him, to make him feel good. 

Adrenaline seemed to take over, Byungjoo's body working as if it was on autopilot. His lips latched back onto Hansol's, almost ferociously kissing him, fingers struggling to undo the elders shorts in his haste. Hansol's moans were spuring him on, he couldn't get enough. He wanted them louder, more wanton, bordering on screams. 

"Hansol-"

He finally got Hansol's shorts undone, pushing them down over the dark haired boys firm ass, fingers kneading into his skin. His hands delved into Hansol's pants, fingers gripping aro-

_Wait._

Byungjoo's head cleared. The lust that was clouding his vision dissipating, crashing back down to reality. He was on top of his best friend. Kissing him. Him. 

Byungjoo sat up with a start, hands snapping back as if he had been scalded. What the fuck was he doing? His parents would kill him if they knew he- 

He felt sick. This- This wasn't right. 

"I have to go."

"Byungjoo." Hansol reached out to grab the blondes arm. Why had he just stopped, what was going on? "Wai-"

"Don't-" Byungjoo flinched away, face contorted with disgust scrambling to stand up before Hansol could get any closer. "-touch me."

Hansol's heart dropped. Was Byungjoo...? He thought they were past this. It had been years since Byungjoo last freaked out over anything to do with being gay. He slept in the same bed with Hansol all of the time, they were more cuddly than ever before, he wouldn't even shy away from the occasional forehead kiss. So why was he acting like this now? Like he was utterly repulsed by Hansol? 

"Byungjoo!" Hansol tried to get up from his position on the floor, something that was easier said than done considering his current condition. He couldn't just let them leave. They at least had to talk about this. "Joo, don't go, we don't have to do anything, just talk to me."

"Hansol, seriously." Byungjoo grabbed his jacket, opening the front door, ready to leave. "I'm _not_ gay. Just- just leave me alone, okay?"

Byungjoo slammed the door behind him, wrapping his coat tightly around himself in an attempt to hide the bulge in his pants. 

_What the fuck just happened?_

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol let out a frustrated sigh as he threw himself on his bed, not even bothering to shut the door. He couldn't get the look of sheer disgust on Byungjoo's face out of his head. 

"What's up with you?" Hojoon leaned against the door, eyebrow quirked as he watched Hansol scramble to get a pillow to cover the obvious bulge in his pants. He hadn't gotten around to dealing with it after Byungjoo left. 

"Nothing."

"Hansollie~" Hojoon sang the younger's name, joining him on the bed. "Don't lie to me."

Hojoon's eyes fell on the pillow Hansol had over his lap, taking in the dark haired boy's flushed features. 

"Byungjoo?"

Hansol stifled a whimper, not really wanting to talk about it. 

"We kissed. A lot"

"Fucking finally." Hojoon rolled his eyes, settling beside Hansol. "That doesn't really explain this though." He grabbed the pillow off Hansol's lap, making the other yelp as he reached to get it back, hitting Hojoon on the arm as the elder laughed. 

"Spill."

Hansol groaned, pouting slightly. "We were kissing and it turned to a full on making out session and his hands were all over me, and he took his shirt off and - oh my god - he has  _the_  nicest abs. Ugh, he's just so sexy. I thought it was  _finally_  going to happen, you know? I've wanted it for so long now and everyone thinks he likes me like that and I thought maybe he did too."

"So, what happened?"

"I seriously thought we were gonna do it, like finally, after all the sexual tension and shit. I was basically in his pants, like I could feel the fucking outline of his dick, Hojoon, and he was so hard and I was like _'fuck yes I finally get to feel his dick in me'_ , then he just totally freaked out. It's like, he remembered I'm a guy and he couldn't even bear to touch me. You should have seen the look on his face, Joon. It was like he was totally disgusted by me. Then he just left and now he won't answer my calls or text and I don't know what to do."

"Wow." Hojoon leaned back against the headboard. "What a prick."

Hansol turned to glare at the blonde. "He's not...he- he's just confused."

"Hansol, sweetie, he's been playing with your emotions for years. He must know by now if he likes guys or not."

"It's not like that, Joon." Hansol whined, drawing his knees up to hug the pillow closer to him. "I really think he's scared to come out."

"He shouldn't be using you as some kind of toy to figure out whether he's gay or not, Hansol. Surely he must know you like him."

Hansol shrugged, groaning slightly. He didn't know what to think anymore. 

"So, he basically he got you all worked up then just left you?"

"Well...I got him all worked up too."

Hojoon rolled his eyes again. He didn't know why Hansol was always so quick to defend the blonde. "That's his problem. He got you hard and didn't finish you off. That's just bad manners."

Hojoon ripped the pillow from Hansol's grasp again, tossing it across the room. 

"Let me suck you off."

Hansol's eyes doubled in size, face heating up. "Hojoon! Wha-"

The elder's lips were on his before he even got to finish his sentence. It wasn't the first time the two of them had kissed, kissing always seemed to calm Hojoon down when he was crying and Hansol was more than happy to help him out with that. 

"I'm serious. I don't wanna leave you like this." Hojoon's fingers ghosted over the bulge in Hansol's shorts as he pressed a softer kiss to Hansol's lips. "It doesn't have to be a blow job; I just wanna get you off, Hansol."

"Joon, it's fine, really, I can do it myself."

"Hansol," Hojoon's voice was unnaturally stern, "you're my best friend. You're always there for me, let me help you out."

Hansol's eyes fell to where Hojoon's fingers lay. He'd be lying if he said he'd never thought about it. Hojoon was gorgeous, and he knew fine well the elder was good in bed. But he was worried what this would mean for them. 

"Things...won't be weird after, right?" He loved Hojoon with all his heart, just not like that. He had no romantic attraction to the dark blonde; he loved him as a friend. "Cause I don't like you like that, Joon."

"It's just sex, Hansollie. Neither of us want anything more from this, right?" Hojoon confirmed, making sure they were in the same page. 

Hansol nodded, sucking on his bottom lip. 

"Good." Hojoon shifted closer to him, looming over Hansol as the younger automatically lay back against the pillows on his bed. Hansol hissed as Hojoon cupped the growing erection in his shorts. "Cause you're my best friend, and I love you, and I want to make you feel better."

Hansol didn't have time to respond before Hojoon's lips were back on his, moving softly as he palmed the dark haired boy. Hansol reacted instantly, hips arching to meet Hojoon's touch, begging for more friction. 

"What do you want, Hansollie?" Hojoon's breath was hot against his cheek. 

Hansol whimpered as Hojoon's breath dropped an octave. He knew fine well from what Taeyang had told him that the blonde wasn't as submissive as he appeared. 

"Just...whatever you want. Please just make me come."

Hojoon laughed lowly, fingers tightening around Hansol’s clothed erection. "That's a dangerous thing to say to me, sweetie." Hojoon peppered kisses down the column of Hansol's neck, latching onto one of his collarbones, earning him a high pitched moan from the younger. "This is about you, not me. Tell me what you want."

Hansol moaned again as Hojoon reattached himself to his neck, fingers tangling in caramel hair. He was pretty sure that if he and Byungjoo had gone all the way the younger was going to be on top, that's what he had been hoping anyway. 

"Fuck me."

Hojoon smirked at Hansol’s sudden change in demeanour. He always knew Hansol wasn't quite as sweet and sugary when it came to sex; his room was next to Jiho's after all. 

"Yeah?" His smirk grew as he pushed his hips down to graze against Hansol’s. Even when he was moaning Hojoon's name he sounded adorable. 

"Joon, please. I need you in me." Hansol’s voice was tight. He was already impossibly hard; he couldn't deal with Hojoon teasing him. 

Hojoon bit down on his bottom lip, sitting up slightly so he could pull Hansol's shorts down. The younger gasped as the material rubbed over the sensitive head of his cock. Being so exposed in front of his best friend, his boyfriends' boyfriend wasn't as weird as he thought it would be. He just  _really_  wanted Hojoon to take him. 

"There's lube in the top drawer." He was starting to get impatient as he stripped off his shirt, not wanting to waste time with foreplay; he had already gotten that from Byungjoo. 

Hojoon reached into the bedside table, eyes widening as his hands came into contact with much more than just lube. "Woah, Hansollie," he pulled out a number of toys; ball gags, butt plugs with furry tails, paddles, "I had no idea you were such a kinky bitch." He had figured Hansol was adventurous from a couple of offhanded comments Jiho had made, but the model rarely went into detail with their sex lives. It was cute that he wanted to keep Hansol’s kinks between them. 

"Joon," he whined, pawing at the blonde to ignore all that and just fuck him, he didn't want any of that stuff right now. "I'll tell you later, can you just...?” He lifted his hips up, inviting Hojoon back over. An amused smile crept onto Hojoon's face; how could he say no to that?

He lay back down next to Hansol, pulling out a flog along with a bottle of lube. "If  you weren't having such a shitty day I would totally tie you up and use this on you." He ran the leather tassels over Hansol’s hips, smirking as he leaned into the touch of the toy, tilting his body slightly so they came into contact with the curve of his ass. 

Something dark flashed through eyes Hansol's as his lips quirked into a wicked smile.

"You think  _he_  uses this stuff on  _me_?"

Hojoon's eyes widened, slightly taken aback. _Holy fuck._ He licked his lips subconsciously at the thought of his boyfriend all tied up and helpless as Hansol whipped him or spanked him or whatever. 

He closed in on Hansol, their lips barely touching as he spoke. "So, you're a little dominatrix, Hansollie? Who would have thought?"

Hansol giggled, juxtaposing what Hojoon had just said. "If you make me come maybe I'll show you."

Hojoon felt his cock twitch in his sweatpants at that, pushing at Hansol’s hips so he was laid flat on his back again, Hojoon in-between his legs. Hansol bit his lip in anticipation as Hojoon poured some of the lube in his fingers; this was always his favourite part. 

He gasped out as Hojoon slipped the first finger in, he was so ready for it, so desperate that it barely even hurt. He just wanted more. Hojoon didn't wait long to add another, Hansol's eyes rolled back in his head as Hojoon worked him open, his hands fisted in baby pink bedsheets. 

He cried out as Hojoon crooked his fingers, brushing up against that sensitive spot. 

"Ah! Joon, keep going!" He was pretty sure he could come from this alone, he was much too worked up to wait for Hojoon to actually fuck him. "Just keep fingering me, I'm so close."

He hooked his fingers in the collar of Hojoon's shirt, pulling the elder down on top of him to catch him in a messy, open mouthed kiss as Hojoon added a third finger. He whined against Hojoon's lips, hips bucking up to meet the blonde's clothed ones as Hojoon hit his prostate over and over. 

Hojoon smirked at the lewd noises that were spilling from his best friend’s lips, fingers wrapping around his neglected cock to pump him to completion. 

It didn't take long until Hansol was spilling all over Hojoon's hand, screaming the elder’s name. It felt like he had waited hours for the sweet release of orgasm, he almost completely forgot about Byungjoo as thoughts of how good Hojoon had made him feel clouded his mind. 

"Mmm, Hojoonie, that was so good. Thanks, baby." Hansol mused with a dopey smile on his face as Hojoon settled down next to him. 

"I can't believe you came before I even got to put my dick in you." Hojoon pouted, prodding Hansol in the ribs as the dark haired boy giggled. 

"Sorry. Sometimes I think I like being fingered more than I like being fucked."

Hojoon gaped. "That's weird. You're weird."

"You can still put your dick in me though." Hansol whispered, rolling onto his side to cup the growing erection in Hojoon's sweatpants. "That is if you still want me to show you what I do to Jiho."

This time it was Hojoon's turn to whine, a light dusting of pink creeping onto his cheeks. He inwardly cursed himself that Hansol, pure, sweet, Hansol, was making him blush. 

He gasped out as Hansol’s hand delved into his pants, fingers wrapping tightly around his rapidly hardening length. He leaned right into Hojoon's ear, licking a strip along the shell as they turned a deep red. 

"I'm gonna ride you so hard, Hojoonie."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol woke to his phone vibrating on his bedside table. Hojoon groaned slightly at the loss of warmth as he reached for it, snuggling back into the elder so as not to wake him. 

[joo ♡]

Hey, I'm really sorry about today. Can we talk somewhere?

[4 missed calls from joo ♡]

[joo ♡]

I understand if you're mad at me but please don't ignore me. 

Hansol sighed to himself; he really couldn't stay angry at Byungjoo. Hojoon nuzzled into his chest as he messaged the blonde back, his arm wrapping tightly around Hansol's waist. 

A devilish smirk crept onto his lips.  

[Hansol]

i'm not mad, it's fine x

Hansol stretched his arm out to send Byungjoo a picture. He knew it would make the younger jealous, regardless of what it was Byungjoo felt for Hansol, he wasn't exactly Hojoon's biggest fan. 

He smiled as his eyes scanned over the picture, they looked cute. Hojoon had a soft smile on his face as he slept against Hansol's bare chest, the younger pressing a kiss to his messy caramel hair. It was obvious they'd just had sex; Hansol even went as far as pulling the sheets down a little to reveal more of their naked torsos. 

He pressed send. 

[Hansol]

hojoon hyung made me feel better x

[joo ♡]

You slept with him??

Hansol snorted, lips quirking into a smirk as he put his phone down, leaving Byungjoo hanging. He pulled the covers back over them, snuggling into the warmth Hojoon was providing him. 

The elder began to stir. He made the cutest little whining noises when he woke up, it always made Hansol smile. 

"What time is it?" Hojoon asked with a whimper as he stretched his back out. 

"Dunno. Don't care. Go back to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha no they ain't FFS BYUNGJOO GET IT TOGETHER SON


	11. Admission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo990000ooooOo what's going on hereeee
> 
> PS this WILL have typos bc I was editing and ao3 decided to refresh before I saved and I,,,,,am too lazy to redo everything lol

Hansol was...annoyed. To say the least. 

He had spent a couple of weeks avoiding Byungjoo. He just couldn't get that look out of his head. The look of sheer disgust. 

But, Hansol didn't hold grudges. He had spent six whole months without Byungjoo, he couldn't do that again. They needed to talk, which was why he had asked the younger to come over, and now he was sat here waiting for him. 

Hansol honestly had no idea what he was going to say, even the idea of confrontation made him anxious. It was something he tried to avoid at all costs. But he had to do this. 

He couldn't deal with people looking at him like that, not because of his sexuality. He had dealt with that enough while he was in high school. 

He flinched as the doorbell rang, too absorbed in his thoughts to pay attention to what was going on around him. Well, this was it. 

"Hi." Byungjoo shifted nervously from foot to foot as the front door opened. He felt like he had been in this position with Hansol too many times. 

The elder didn't even acknowledge him, turning to go back into the main living room, not shutting the front door in Byungjoo’s face as an invite to come in. 

"Look, Hansol I'm-"

"Don't." Hansol didn't want Byungjoo’s apologies. Not yet. He had a lot to get off his chest and he just needed to...do it. He couldn't let Byungjoo speak first or he'd just forgive him and nothing would ever improve. He had to get this out in the open. 

"Don't talk. Just listen to me."

Byungjoo nodded, heart rate increasing. He had been planning out his apology for weeks, but the last thing he wanted was to upset Hansol even more. 

"I can't do this anymore."

"Wh-"

"I said don't speak, Byungjoo. Just shut up and listen." Byungjoo hated that tone on Hansol’s voice. He hated seeing him angry. 

"I can't do all of this...whatever _this_  is. I _like_ you Byungjoo. A lot. More than a friend. I thought that maybe you felt the same but, I dunno, do you just want to fuck me? I just- I don't know what you want from me, Joo. You've always said that you don't like boys and you used to be super weird about me being affectionate with you, but suddenly you want that. Is it just because you're jealous of Hojoon? Because I don't appreciate you toying with my feelings just to get one up on him. And what the fuck was the other week? Like...seriously? You said that you've wanted me for so long, but...as soon as you touched me you freaked out. No, it was more than that. You were _disgusted_ by me, Byungjoo. Is it because I'm gay? Because I'm a guy? Because I've been through all of this shit in high school and I'm not doing it again. I've had guys use me to figure out their own sexuality, only to toss me aside when they realise they aren't as bi-curious as they first thought and-" Hansol stopped to take a breath, a shuddering breath as his eyes began to well up. "I thought you were my friend, Joo. That maybe you could be more than that, but- but you clearly don't care about me that much if you would just run off like that. I can't do this anymore, it's killing me."

Byungjoo took a deep breath of his own, trying his hardest to keep it steady as everything Hansol unloaded piled up on top of him. He regretted the other week. Not kissing Hansol, not touching him, but leaving. He wished he had just gone through with it. Wished he hadn't freaked out. But he had. 

"Hansol- I-" he didn't know what to say. The apology he had drafted up in his head was well and truly gone. 

"Joo, I need to know. No messing around. Do you like me as more than a friend? Yes or no?"

Byungjoo averted Hansol’s gaze, choosing to stare at his hands instead. Why was he so scared to confess his feelings? It's not like he was going to get rejected, Hansol clearly felt the same way. And he knew fine well there was nothing wrong with liking boys, there was just something inside of him preventing from admitting to it himself. Some kind of mental block. 

But he couldn't lose Hansol. Not again. 

So he nodded. It was a subtle nod but Hansol picked up on it. 

"You do?"

Byungjoo nodded again, eyes still fixated in his hands. 

Hansol scoffed. "Then what the fuck are you playing at?"

Byungjoo liked him. He really did. So why was he messing around with Hansol’s emotions like this? It must be painfully obvious that Hansol had well and truly fell for his best friend. Everyone has picked up on it; there was no way Byungjoo could have missed that. 

So why was he still putting hansol through all of this?

"Hansol...I just- I'm scared, okay? I'm really fucking scared." This time it was Byungjoo’s voice that wavered. He had never spoken about this with anyone before. "I feel like I'm not meant to have these feelings for you."

Hansol’s eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean? Joo, you know fine well there's nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual or whatever. Why would you feel like that?"

"I just- I dunno. I know it's okay and I honestly have nothing against gay people and I'm happy that you and your boyfriends are comfortable in your sexuality, but I'm not. I've spent all of my teenage and adult life trying to convince people that I'm not gay. I can't just...suddenly have a boyfriend. That's what scares me. People talking."

Hansol hummed under his breath, eyes following Byungjoo’s gaze to the younger's hands. He couldn't fully understand that, he honestly didn't really care what people thought about him. Not people that he went to school with or was barely friends with on Facebook. Stuff like that didn't bother him. He only really cared what the people within this house thought about him. 

But he could understand how Byungjoo might see things differently. The blonde had always seemed to care about what other people think of him, even people he would pass in the street when Hansol would latch into his arm. He hated that. It actually reminded him of how Taeyang used to be when they were younger. 

"Joo...I dunno what you really want me to say. I know that...coming out isn't exactly easy for everyone, Christ, it wasn't for me, but you could at least talk to me. I'm, like, your best friend, right? I know what this is like. I wish you'd just talk to me instead of repressing everything. That’s why we keep ending up here."

"Coming out?" Byungjoo didn't know how he felt about those words. He definitely didn't consider himself gay; he still liked girls after all. But he wasn't even sure if he liked boys...or if he just liked Hansol. "Coming out as what?"

Hansol shrugged. "That's more for you to figure out, really. Does it matter? You don't have to put a label on it. You don't have to make some huge declaration. It's not like everyone has to know, if that's what's scaring you so much."

It was. That was exactly what was scaring him. That all of those people that treated him like shit would find out and they'd be proven right. That he was just some scrawny little faggot. 

That, and his parents. 

"It's my parents too...they're _incredibly_ homophobic."

"Really?" Hansol tilted his head. He hadn't gotten that vibe from them at all the time he went over for dinner. 

"Why do you think you've only been to my house once? They found you you're gay and banned me from seeing you. Obviously, I didn't listen, but...the thought of them finding out terrifies me. They'd kick me out, I know they would. They'd never speak to me again, Hansol. They don't even know we're still friends." 

Byungjoo began to well up. That was definitely what scared him the most. He may not agree with his parents views on a lot of things, but he loved them more than anything and he honestly had no idea what he would do if they cut him out of their lives. It had taken him so long to build their relationship up to what it was today, and he didn't want to ruin that. 

"You really love them, huh?"

Byungjoo nodded again, nuzzling straight into Hansol’s shoulder as the elder moved to sit next to him, to comfort him. 

Hansol hated seeing Byungjoo like this. He had always known the blonde was uncomfortable in his sexuality, but he had never guessed that this was the reason why. He figured it was just because of the bullying when he was younger, because of the negative connotations that came with being gay. 

"Listen, I had a hard time coming out to my parents too. I was so scared they'd hate me, prepared myself for the worst, but they didn't. My Mom had never been more proud of me than the night I told her. She was so worried about me before that. I was depressed, and she was just happy that she knew the root of it. Maybe...maybe they'd be more understanding than you think."

Byungjoo shook his head against Hansol’s shoulder. "No. There's no way they will be. They'd never speak to me again, hansol. I know fine well they wouldn't."

Hansol threaded his fingers through Byungjoo’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He couldn't help himself. He knew he was meant to be mad at Byungjoo right now, but seeing him like this just made him melt. He wanted to be there for him. Wanted to be that person that wiped away his tears and cuddled him until he drifted off to sleep. 

"Then just don't tell them."

"Tell them what?"

"About us." 

Byungjoo sat up straight, looking Hansol dead in the eye through his tears. 

"You- You still want to..."

"Yeah. I mean...do you?"

Did he? Did he _really_ want to be with Hansol? Was that even what Hansol was hinting at? 

"Yeah. I- You mean...like, be your boyfriend. Right?"

Hansol giggled, fingers intertwining with Byungjoo’s. 

"Yes. I mean, like, be my boyfriend. That is what you want, right?"

Byungjoo nodded, a wide smile breaking out onto his lips. 

"But-"

His smile faltered slightly. 

"-this is your last chance. I mean it, Joo. I can't deal with you running off and freaking out and just abandoning me. We can take this as slow as you want until you get used to being with another guy, but I'm not just some toy you can play around with and throw away if you decide you want to go hide back in the closet. I can't go through that again."

Byungjoo nodded again, a little more solemnly this time. He felt absolutely awful for what he had done to Hansol, especially considering he knew the elder had abandonment issues, because of what had happened with his mother, but everything had just gotten too much for him. It was something he was going to have to get over, but he was sure if they continued to communicate like they had today and took things slow instead of diving in head first, he would be able to. 

"I'll never do that to you again, Hansollie. I promise. I'm so, so sorry. It just- it doesn't matter. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry." He squeezed his fingers around Hansol’s, looking back up at the elder. "I really would appreciate it if we could take things slow, and I dunno when I'll be able to go public, but I can't deal with telling my parents any time soon."

"That's understandable." Hansol offered him a sad smile. He already had to keep his and Jiho's relationship shielded from the majority of people. The press would have a field day if they found out one of the UKs rising models was living in a huge house with his three boyfriends. He hated keeping them a secret, and no doubt he would hate keeping Byungjoo a secret, but he would never betray Byungjoo like that. He could hold out. "Everyone in this house will accept you, at least that's something."

Byungjoo’s smile widened. That was true. He could always rely on Jiho to make him feel better. Even Taeyang and Hojoon had seemed to warm up to him recently. 

The fact that hansol was already dating two other guys didn't bother him at all. He knew how their relationship worked, and he had seen first-hand how perfect they all were together. He could definitely cope with sharing his new _boyfriend_. 

"So...you're my boyfriend then?" That word felt so alien on his tongue. But he liked it. When it was in reference to Hansol he liked it. 

"Yeah...I guess I am." Hansol smiled back, a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering around Byungjoo’s stomach. He fucking loved that smile. "Can I..?"

Byungjoo nodded as Hansol leaned forward, signalling that he wanted a kiss. 

It was soft, tender, gentle, barely there. Two pairs of plush lips just about brushing against one another, nowhere near as hungry as their last kiss. Byungjoo leaned in a little More, tentatively deepening it without wanting to overstep any marks. He really liked the way Hansol’s lips felt against his. They seemed to fit so perfectly, they were so full and plump it was like they were the only lips that could match up to his own equally full, plump lips. 

This kiss meant so much more than any of their previous ones. It felt like the start of something. Something amazing. Something Byungjoo was glad he had finally grown the balls to get himself into. Something that, despite what anyone else would think, would make him happier than he had ever been. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Happy one month anniversary!"

Hansol rolled over, rubbing sleep from his eyes to reveal a beaming Byungjoo with a plate of pastries and juice, equipped with a single white rose in a glass. Hansol’s favourites. 

Hansol giggled to himself, sitting up against his pillows. "I thought I was meant to be the soppy, romantic one."

"Well, I can be soppy and romantic when I want to be, too." Byungjoo smirked, placing the tray of breakfast food on the bedside table as he leaned across to press a kiss to Hansol’s nose. 

He hadn't regretted the talk they had resulting in them becoming a couple for a second. He had no idea how much he needed this, how much he needed Hansol. Someone to love him. Sure, he had his best friend Hansol, but having his boyfriend Hansol was better than he ever could imagined. 

Jiho was ecstatic when they told him, obviously. Taeyang was happy for them, but Byungjoo could tell he was a little weary. He couldn't really blame him, to be honest, he knew how protective Taeyang was and Byungjoo had put Hansol through quite a bit over the past few years. 

Then there was Hojoon, who, to everyone's surprise was actually delighted they had gotten together. Byungjoo had expected more arguments and below the belt jabs from the dancer, but he just seemed happy that Hansol was happy. 

It was nice, being a part of this family. Really nice. 

His parents still didn't know. Had no idea. In fact, no one knew, other than the people that lived in this house. But Byungjoo was determined to change that. 

He hated that he couldn't take Hansol out on romantic dates, wine and dine him. They still went out together, obviously, but there wasn't any of that hand-holding, cheek-kissing, romantic shit Hansol lived for and Byungjoo felt terrible about it. 

"I booked us a table somewhere for lunch."

"Oh? You didn't have to, I should be the one taking you out, it's almost your birthday."

"I wanted to." Byungjoo laced his fingers with Hansol’s, pulling him down so the elder was half on top of him and into another kiss. "I wanted to treat you. It's at that Tuscan place, the one with the outdoor seats and all the flowers. Jiho recommended it, said you loved it there."

Honestly, that was a huge upside of being in this polyamorous relationship with Hansol’s other boyfriends. They always gave him the best date ideas, knowing exactly what it was that Hansol loved. 

Hansol’s eyes widened, catching Byungjoo’s lips in yet another kiss. 

"You're amazing."

"So are you." 

Hansol's lips crashed back down onto Byungjoo’s, the younger giving him an entrance instantly. They had gotten pretty good at kissing. Byungjoo didn't freak out anymore, and was even happy to let Hansol take control. But they hadn't went any further than that, not wanting a repeat of that one time they don't speak of anymore. 

It wasn't that Byungjoo didn't want to sleep with Hansol - he did. He just knew that rushing things would probably result in disaster. He had to wait until he was totally ready. 

And he was pretty sure that he was. 

"Hansol, I-" Byungjoo pulled away, trying to catch his boyfriends attention, only to have a pair of lips cutting him off with a giggle. "Hansol! I think I'm ready."

Okay, that caught his attention. 

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah...it's been a month, right? I want this. I want _you_."

Hansol flushed, his stomach knotting. That's what Byungjoo had said last time and that hadn't worked out so well. But he wanted him too, and this was something they would have to get over eventually. 

"Okay." Hansol ripped his T-shirt off, boxers following, making a point that he was definitely a boy before things got too heated and Byungjoo freaked out again. "I wanna take this slow too, though. Yeah?"

"Sure." Byungjoo sat up straight, eyes raking over Hansol’s body. It was the first time he'd ever seen the elder fully naked, and he definitely wasn't as freaked out as last time. In fact, it was a massive turn on. He ripped off his own shirt as Hansol straddled him - a complete juxtaposition of last time. He actually liked having Hansol on top of him, though, which was something he had never imagined. 

Hansol lips met his again, moving slowly, not wanting to push anything. Byungjoo’s tongue darted out, tentatively prodding at Hansol’s lips to guide them open. 

"Wait."

Hansol reached into his bedside draw, trying to fish around for a bottle of lube without pulling anything else out. He didn't want to scare Byungjoo off, after all. 

He smirked to himself as he found it, pouring a decent amount onto his fingers. 

"Do you- Do you want me to...?"

"No, it's fine." Hansol smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of Byungjoo’s nose. He could do it himself; he didn't exactly want to throw Byungjoo in at the deep end. That's why he assumed he would be on the receiving end of things. He wanted to make this a simple and pleasurable for Byungjoo as possible. "You just sit back and enjoy the show."

So he did. He sat back against Hansol’s mountain of pillows and watched as his boyfriend reached around to finger himself. 

He bit down on his bottom lip as Hansol pushed the first finger in, wincing a little at the pained expression on the elders face. Honestly, the idea of bottoming terrified him. He didn't really understand how anything managed to fit up there and it looked really fucking painful. But, he was sure he'd be willing to try it eventually. It must feel good, right? That's where the male g-spot is meant to be, after all. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Hansol laughed under his breath slightly. It was cute how new Byungjoo was to all of this, how cautious he was with him. "It feels good; it just burns a little to begin with." 

Byungjoo felt his cock twitch as Hansol moaned lowly, adjusting to the sensation of being stretched open. His fingers made their way to Hansol’s thighs, rubbing soothing circles into the soft skin. 

"Fuck." Hansol breathed out, hips rolling against his fingers as he added another one. His eyes fluttered shut, only momentarily before locking onto Byungjoo’s. He wanted all of the blonde attention to be on him. On how good he looked like this. On how good he was planning to make Byungjoo feel. 

"Joo- ah- Pass the lube back."

Byungjoo reached for the bottle, assuming Hansol needed more to stretch himself further. That was until Hansol tugged his boxers down with his free hand, his fully erect cock springing free from its confines. 

Byungjoo flushed. Instantly. Hansol had never seen him like this and it made him _really_ nervous. Especially knowing that Hansol was with Jiho, and he highly doubted there was any way he compared. _Oh god._ He was going to be shit in bed compared to Jiho, wasn't he? He had heard the way the model made Hojoon and Taeyang scream. He could never live up to that. He had a small dick and was going to be a shitty fuck and Hansol was going to break up with him. _Great_. 

"You have a _really_ pretty cock." Hansol smirked, tongue darting out to wet his lips subconsciously. "I can't wait to sit on it."

Okay, so, maybe he was exaggerating. 

Byungjoo lunged forward, catching Hansol’s lips back in his own. He couldn't get enough, and as much as he loved watching Hansol play with himself, he was starting to get impatient. He poured some of the lube in Hansol’s free hand, hoping he would get the hint. 

Hansol giggled against Byungjoo’s lips at the less than subtle notion. He reached down to take Byungjoo’s cock in his hand, revelling in the sharp hiss that came from the younger at the contact. He scissored himself open with one hand, slicking Byungjoo’s dick up with the other, the soft moans coming from his boyfriend spurring him on. This was finally happening. For real this time. He wasn't sure he could wait much longer. 

"Okay." Hansol breathed, pulling back from the kiss. "I'm ready if you are."

Byungjoo nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. But he wanted this so fucking bad. His jaw dropped as Hansol lined himself up above Byungjoo’s cock. 

"You sure?"

"100%"

So, Hansol lowered himself down. Slowly. 

Byungjoo gasped out at the tightness that enveloped his cock. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He knew it wouldn't feel like being with a girl, but this felt so much better than he had ever imagined. 

"Holy fuck- Hansol!"

Hansol bit down on his bottom lip, suppressing both a smirk and a moan as he sunk down, all the way to the base. He took his time, wanting to make this feel as good as possible for Byungjoo. They had waited so long, why ruin it with a quick fuck? He wanted to make this last. Make it memorable. 

"Well, does that feel good?" Hansol did smirk this time, already knowing the answer considering the blissful look on his boyfriends face now the elder was fully settled in his lap. Hansol wiggled his hips a little, just enough to make Byungjoo whine impatiently. 

"Want me to step it up a notch?" Hansol giggled. He was pretty sure that's what Byungjoo wanted, but he had to make sure after what had happened last time. Communication was going to have to be key if they wanted this to work. 

Byungjoo lunged forwards, catching Hansol’s lips in his own, hands grabbing onto the elders ass. If that wasn't a hint to get moving, then Hansol wasn't sure what was. 

He lifted himself up, just a little so he could bounce in Byungjoo’s lap, just to start with. He had meant it when he said he wanted to take things slow, he was so worried that any sudden movement would freak Byungjoo out and have him running off again. 

He pulled back, settling his forehead head against Byungjoo’s, so he could look into his boyfriends eyes as he rode him, before things got too heated. He _loved_ doing that. He loved how intimate sex was, that it wasn't just about getting off, it was about connecting with someone you loved. That you were one of the few people that got to see them like that, make them feel like that. It was the ultimate form of expressing love. 

"Hansollie..." Chills shot down his spine at the way Byungjoo moaned his name. "Can you go faster?"

Hansol didn't need to be asked twice. Sure, he wanted to go slow, but Byungjoo felt _so_ good inside of him, he needed more. He picked up his pace, fingers gripping onto Byungjoo’s shoulders to steady himself. 

"Holy fuck." Byungjoo breathed out, fingers digging in deeper to the plush skin of Hansol’s backside as the elder picked up his pace. This felt _so fucking good_. 

He wished he had come to terms with his sexuality earlier, that he could have had Hansol earlier. They had missed out on so much and it was all his fault. 

But they were finally here. He couldn't believe he was so scared about being with another boy in the past, that he had run out on Hansol because this felt unlike anything else. He couldn't even put into words how amazing it felt being inside of Hansol. 

Not that he could really form any words right now. Just fragmented noises that sounded like maybe they were supposed to be words if they hadn't been interrupted by loud moans. 

He thought that maybe he would feel totally self-conscious, being so exposed in front of his ex-best friend, his new boyfriend. But he didn't. There was just something about Hansol that made him feel completely comfortable in himself. 

"Joo..." Hansol sat up straight, so Byungjoo could see how good he looked. He had waited so long for this and he was determined to give Byungjoo the full experience. "Fuck, you feel so good."

Byungjoo’s eyes widened as he drank in the sight of Hansol riding him; flushed cheeks, uneven breath, lips parted, long black hair sticking to the clammy layer of sweat beginning to form on his chest, abdominal muscles contracting as he moved, cock hard and reddened, curving up towards his stomach, bouncing in time with the rhythm he had picked up, thighs beginning to shake. 

He looked fucking perfect. 

"Hansol, I-" As amazing as this felt he wanted to give Hansol more, he felt bad that his boyfriend was doing all of the work. He strengthened his hold on Hansol’s ass, stopping the elder from moving in mid-air. 

Hansol stifled a whine as he was halted just as he was getting into it. Was Byungjoo uncomfortable again? There was no way he could handle the younger running out on him for a second time, especially not now they were officially together. That would destroy him. 

"Joo, are you ok-ohmygod!"

Hansol’s words came out in one jumbled rush as Byungjoo snapped his hips up, cock delving back into Hansol’s warmth. 

"Fuck! Joo- More!" He had wanted to go slow earlier, but that's only because he was worried about how Byungjoo may react, but it was more than obvious that the blond was just as into this as he was and he needed _more_. 

He gripped onto the headboard to steady himself as Byungjoo fucked into him, moans from the both of them resonating around the room. Hansol bounced up and down slightly, despite Byungjoo’s fingers still digging into his ass, sure to leave angry red marks behind, meeting his boyfriend halfway to ensure he could swallow up as much of Byungjoo's cock as possible. 

"There!" He screamed out, voice strained as Byungjoo pounded into that sweet spot, making his head spin. "Yes! Please, harder!"

Byungjoo’s breath was ragged as he fucked into Hansol, feeling a familiar warmth beginning to pool in his stomach. He was close, and he was pretty sure Hansol was too if the sheer pleasure etched across his face was anything to go by. He wanted Hansol to come first, though, feeling like he needed to make it up for his boyfriend after what had happened last time. 

He bit down on his bottom lip, right hand leaving Hansol’s pert ass to hesitantly wrap around the elders neglected cock. Hansol gasped out Byungjoo’s name at the contact, which only spurred the blonde on, grip tightening as he began to pump. He honestly thought this would throw him off, which is why he hadn't done it earlier, but it felt completely natural - having another guy’s dick in his hand. At least this was something he had experience in. 

His thumb swirled around the tip, smirking to himself as Hansol threw his head back, chanting his name over and over. He couldn't believe that he was finally the one to make Hansol lose it, to come undone, the one who's name he was screaming. 

"I'm so close." Byungjoo groaned, rhythm becoming sloppy as he rutted up into Hansol, hand working at a similar pace. 

"Me too." Hansol breathed out, head lulling forwards as his grip on the headboard tightened, knuckles whitening. The pleasure was hitting him two-fold thanks to Byungjoo’s dick and hand, and he wasn't sure he could hold on much longer. 

"Go on then, baby. I wanna see you come."

Byungjoo’s voice was like music to his ears; low and husky, unlike he had ever heard it before. He didn't need to be told twice. 

Hansol came with a scream of Byungjoo’s name; thighs giving out as he spilled into the younger's hand. 

Byungjoo moaned lowly at the sight, then cried out at the way Hansol clamped down around him, becoming impossibly tight. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced, his vision blurred as he came undone only seconds later. It was impossible for him to hold out with Hansol wrapped so tightly around him. He didn't miss Hansol’s soft whimper as he filled him. 

Hansol fell against Byungjoo, chests rising in tandem, the two of them barely able to catch their breath. 

"Jesus, fuck." Byungjoo laughed giddily, head still cloudy as he pressed a soft kiss to Hansol’s temple. "That may have been the hardest I've ever came."

Hansol giggled, arms wrapping around Byungjoo, shifting slightly so he could catch the blondes lips in his own. This was it, there was nothing standing in their way now. They had gotten over the sexuality thing, the sex thing, now they could just get on with their lives. Be a proper couple. Sure, Byungjoo still wasn't ready to tell his parents and Hansol respected that, it didn't bother him all that much. But he really felt like this was it, like he and Byungjoo were finally going to be together. 

He nuzzled further into his boyfriends hold, sighing contentedly as Byungjoo’s arms looped around his waist, drawing him further into the cuddle. This was perfect. 

"You're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F U C K I N G ! F I N A L L Y ! ! !


	12. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER FINALLY!!! EVERYTHING IS COMING TO A CLOSE!!! AND THIS CHAPTER IS TOTALLY ANGST FREE I PROMISE!!  
> honestly i could have ended it here but there's a teeny tiny bit i wrote MONTHS AGO that'll be in the next chapter just to kinda round everything off concerning byungjoo's parents. i could have just added it to the end of this but there's a pretty big gap (of about a year) between the two scenes and,,,,,well i already have 12 chapters why not make it 13 lol

Hansol sighed as fingers carded through his hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp. He was snuggled into Jiho’s chest, Hojoon spooning him, and Taeyang was curled into Jiho's other side, legs stretched out across the models. 

He loved nights like this, when none of them had to work late and they could just lie around in a tangle of limbs and do nothing. 

There was just one thing missing. Byungjoo. 

Byungjoo still hadn't come out to his parents, which was something Hansol could understand; he just wished that it could be different. He would love for Byungjoo to move in with them. They had been together almost five months and honestly, it was going great. 

But Byungjoo still wasn't ready to tell his parents, meaning that he couldn't move in with Hansol. Byungjoo knew there was no way his parents would allow him to live with a _bunch of fag_ s, as they so kindly put it, regardless of whether they knew he and Hansol were an item or not. 

Hansol couldn't help but miss him on nights like this. He would do anything to have Byungjoo nuzzling into him, a strong arm wrapped around his waist. He loved his other boyfriends and Hojoon more than anything, but having Byungjoo here too would make everything feel...complete. 

"You okay, Kitten?"

Hansol looked up as Jiho addressed him, not realising that the three other boys on the bed with him were all staring directly at him. 

"Yeah...why?"

"You keep sighing." Taeyang cocked his head with a worried look on his face. "What's up?"

"He misses Byungjoo." Hojoon spoke up from behind him, cheek smushed up against Hansol shoulder, obscuring his speech a little. 

Hansol laughed softly, Hojoon could read him like a book. "Yeah...I just wish he could do this with us more often."

"Aw, you're so cute, Hansollie!" Jiho beamed, pressing a kiss to jet black hair, ever the romantic. Even hearing his boyfriends talk about someone he wasn't with made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He was just a sucker for love. 

"Has he let you stick it in him yet?"

"Hojoon!" Hansol elbowed the blonde in the chest as his jaw dropped; subtlety had never been the dancer’s strong point. 

"What? I'm just taking an interest in your love life Hansollie. I could go back to bitching and picking fights with him, if you want." Hojoon smirked, arms tightening around Hansol’s waist. "I'm just curious as to whether you've dicked him down or not."

Hansol scoffed. Trust Hojoon to lower the tone. 

"Well, have you?"

Hansol groaned as Taeyang joined in. He loved him and Hojoon together, but the two of them had a tendency to gang up on him. 

"No..." He sighed, figuring it was easier to just give in. They'd find out eventually anyway. "We've talked about it but he's not ready yet." Honestly, Hansol was finding it a little difficult having to play the submissive role all of the time with Byungjoo. A few years ago, when he had first met Jiho and Taeyang that didn't bother him, he liked being the one to be taken control of. But after exploring his own sexuality he found that actually, he liked being dominant just as much as being submissive. 

But he was worried about showing Byungjoo that side of him. Byungjoo was still a little nervous when it came to the idea of male on male sex, and he was still very stuck in his ways in terms of treating Hansol as if he were a girl in bed. He was sure it was something that they would overcome in time, but he just hoped it was sooner rather than later. He just wanted to feel Byungjoo around him. 

"Well, he's missing out. Your dick game is pretty great." 

The three older boys laughed as Jiho spoke up; the least submissive of them all. Hojoon still found it difficult to believe that tiny, sweet Hansol could tie up their domineering model boyfriend and fuck him until he was begging to come, even if he had seen it with his own eyes. 

"He's just a little nervous, that's all. Which is fine, I can wait." Hansol’s face heated up a little, even thinking about his newest boyfriend made him blush. 

"Ugh. You're so in love it makes me sick." Hojoon teased, kissing Hansol on the cheek, as if he wasn't the exact same way when he first got with Taeyang. 

"He's so cute! I can't help myself." Hansol pouted, snuggling further back into his best friends hold. 

"Yeah, he is." Jiho commented absentmindedly, almost dreamily, as he stared ahead, barely focusing on the movie they'd all long forgotten about. 

Taeyang quirked an eyebrow, gaze meeting Hansol’s with a knowing smile on his face. He had seen that look in Jiho's eyes before. Three times, to be exact. Well, four if he included Sanggyun. Which he didn't. 

Hansol giggled softly, catching Jiho's attention. 

"What?"

"You have that look."

"What look?" Jiho blinked down at his dark haired boyfriend, having no idea what Hansol was talking about. 

" _The_ look. The one you had for each of us."

Hojoon sat up a little, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Jiho, trying to figure out what this _look_ was. He had no idea what Taeyang and Hansol were talking about. 

"You like him don't you?"

Hojoon's stomach flipped. Liked...? Jiho liked someone? But...who? 

"What..." Jiho's cheeks flushed, avoiding eye contact with his boyfriends. "No! I-I don't like anyone- I-"

"Oh my god, you do. Jiho, you slut. You can't possibly want a fourth boyfriend." Taeyang joked, pinching at Jiho's reddened cheek, knowing it would frustrate him even more. 

Hojoon's eyes just locked on Jiho. Did he really like someone else? Who could it be? Not Byungjoo...surely. He was Hansol’s boyfriend. That was weird...right? 

Though, Hojoon was technically going out with Taeyang before Jiho...even if he was sleeping with Jiho first. He guessed everything in this relationship was pretty weird, really. 

Hojoon wasn't so sure how he felt about this. Jiho liking someone else. He already had the three of them, weren't they enough? It made him feel a little uneasy. 

"Are you gonna hit on my boyfriend Jiji?"

"You two would actually be kind of cute together."

"Yeah! Oh my god you totally would. Your hair is kinda similar now too, you could wear little matching outfits!"

Hojoon honestly didn't understand how Hansol and Taeyang were so okay with this. How they were even okay with Jiho dating _him_. Sometimes he just didn't understand their relationship at all. 

His biggest worry was Jiho and Taeyang getting sick of him. Getting sick of his constant need for attention and his inability to do anything alone. That they'd find someone better that didn't cause as much trouble or have as many breakdowns and they'd prefer him to Hojoon. 

Part of him knew that would never happen. This was Taeyang and Jiho he was taking about, they would never do that to him. They loved him, and so did Hansol. But he couldn't help feeling so insecure after so many years of feeling worthless and like no one would ever want him. 

So he plastered on a smile. It was only Byungjoo, he liked Byungjoo. He really did. This wasn't just some random guy Jiho was wanting to bring into their family. Because that's what they were, they were his family. Byungjoo was already with Hansol so he was part of their family too, in a way. He just didn't live here. 

Maybe he would be able to date someone else too. It was definitely something he had considered. Well, maybe not date, that seemed like a lot of effort. He still had no idea how Jiho coped with three boyfriends. But he wouldn't mind sleeping with other people every once in a while. Maybe it was something they should discuss sometime.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of all of those negative thoughts. They were trying to have a nice night in. 

"Do you think Byungjoo likes him too?"

"Obviously." Hojoon scoffed, finally joining back into the conversation. "What's not to like?"

The dancer giggled as Jiho flushed an even darker shade of red, squeaking out a small _'Hojoon!'_ His boyfriend really was adorable, and it actually warmed his heart a little to see Jiho like this. Taeyang had mentioned that he loved seeing Jiho fall for other people, and Hojoon had always found that weird. But maybe this was what he meant. He wasn't sure he'd ever go as far as saying he loved it, but it was cute, that much he could admit. 

"Are you gonna tell him?"

Jiho whined, twisting his nose a little. He did like Byungjoo, but he honestly wasn't sure how much. Maybe it was a little crush, just because he was so enamoured with how cute he and Hansol were together. He wasn't sure if pursuing anything yet was a good idea. Byungjoo had barely come around to the idea of having one boyfriend, never mind two. 

This wasn't the same as when he fell for Taeyang, Hansol or Hojoon. He wasn't head over heels in love after a couple of weeks, or hours even. It was just a small niggling feeling that had been building up over time. 

"I dunno, won't that complicate things between you two?" He asked Hansol. The last thing he wanted to do was make their relationship any harder, especially after watching them skirt around each other for years. 

Hansol shrugged. He had no idea. Honestly, everything so far had been pretty complicated between him and Byungjoo. 

"I could, like, hint a little. See if he likes you first."

Jiho whined again. Despite being the typically dominant one who looked after them all, he still had a tendency to act like a toddler more often than not. 

"You don't have to, I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Oh my god! I'm gonna have to think of an adorable nickname for you!"

"No."

"Yes! I call Tae Bunny and Jiho Peaches, so-"

"Peaches?"

"Yeah...he has a nice ass."

Byungjoo’s eyes widened slightly, face beginning to heat up. It didn't take much from Hansol to make him blush. 

"It's just so peachy and firm and ugh- I just wanna squeeze it all the damn time."

Byungjoo laughed softly, he really couldn't imagine Jiho being called that. Although...

"He does have a pretty nice ass. I guess."

A knowing smile spread across Hansol’s features. He had been trying to bring Jiho up for weeks so he could figure out whether Byungjoo liked him or not. This was good enough.

He didn't want to force anything between the two of them, but he just had this feeling that there was something there. He knew Jiho liked Byungjoo, but was nervous about ruining Hansol’s relationship with Byungjoo, but Hansol was pretty sure that wouldn't happen. It was Jiho. He was like...the perfect boyfriend. 

"Oh? You've been looking?"

Byungjoo flushed again, face turning an unattractive shade of crimson. 

"W-well, I mean, yeah he...he wears really tight jeans! How could I not notice?"

Hansol didn't say anything in response, just wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Whatever it is your doing with your face."

"I'm not doing anything." Hansol smirked, shuffling closer to his boyfriend, head resting on the blondes shoulder. "I've caught you staring at him a couple of times, actually. It's kinda cute."

Byungjoo made a sort of whining noise as he covered his face with his hands. This was so fucking embarrassing. His boyfriend had caught him staring at his other boyfriend’s ass? What did that even mean? How did these things even work?

"Joo, it's okay." Hansol pulled Byungjoo’s hands away, so he could look the younger in the eye. "That's how this relationship works. You can date or sleep with other guys or girls if you want. You don't have to, but that option is always there. As long as we communicate then it's fine."

"I don't want to sl-" Byungjoo started, about to proclaim he didn't want to sleep with Jiho. But that would be a lie. Of course he had thought about Jiho in that way. It was difficult not to when he heard the model having sex so often. 

He and Jiho had always been pretty close; out of all of them he was the one that Byungjoo talked to the most. Jiho just had this sort of inviting presence. It was practically impossible not to be drawn to him in one way or another. 

But recently that attraction had intensified. He didn't know if it was just because he had been spending more time here or what, but he didn't feel the same about Taeyang or Hojoon. 

Jiho had always been nice to him, though. Even after everything that happened between him and Hansol, him and Hojoon. Jiho had always been there for him, never abandoned him in favour of his own boyfriends. 

And he had first-hand experience of what Jiho was like in a relationship, watched his and Hojoon's romance blossom, he had seen how the taller blonde managed to tend to each of his boyfriends needs without making anyone feel left out or unloved. 

Honestly, it astounded him. And he would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about how Jiho would be with him. 

But he couldn't get out of that heteronormative mind frame. He knew that same sex relationships weren't the same, but he couldn't overcome the idea that Hansol was like the girl of their relationship and he was the boy. It wouldn't be like that with Jiho, they'd both be like boys...even though that's exactly what they were. He knew there was no way he could dominate Jiho or treat him as if he was _the girl_ and he wasn't sure he was ready to be the feminine one. 

But he had no idea how to tell Hansol that without sounding ridiculously homophobic and closed minded. 

"I just don't know if we're compatible."

"Well, Capricorns and Aquarians are actually really compatible."

Byungjoo rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. He was pretty sure astrology wasn’t going to help him this time. 

"That's not really what I meant."

"Well, what do you like about him? Do you just think he's hot or...?" Hansol trailed off, determined to figure out if Byungjoo had feelings for Jiho or just wanted to sleep with him. 

"I dunno...like, everything, I guess." Byungjoo’s voice was barely above a whisper, almost afraid to even admit to himself that he might like Jiho more than a friend. It was nowhere near as hard as admitting he liked Hansol, at least that was one barrier he didn't have to overcome again. It still scared him though, the prospect that Hansol may not be an exception to his 'girls only' rule. That maybe he liked boys more than he originally thought. 

"I mean, it's hard not to. Whenever I see how he is with you guys it's hard not to want to be part of it. He's just so kind and lovely and...fit. But, I dunno if I'm even ready for that, I dunno how me and him would work...sexually. That still kinda scares me, and I would rather my first time was with you."

Hansol smiled softly, nuzzling his nose into Byungjoo’s cheek with a _'you're so cute'._ He didn't even really understand it himself, how he found one of his boyfriends falling for someone else so adorable, but he had the same butterflies he has gotten when Taeyang and Jiho both fell for Hojoon, and now it was happening with Byungjoo.

"Not that it matters, like, I doubt he likes me back, why would anyone want four boyfriends?"

"He-" Hansol started, not sure if it was his place to tell Byungjoo or not. Though, Jiho wouldn't mind, and the last thing he wanted was to lie to his boyfriend. Secrets had brought them nothing but grief in the past. "He does...like you, that is."

Byungjoo’s heart skipped a beat. What would Jiho possibly see in him? He already had three boyfriends he was completely besotted with, and he was just...Byungjoo. 

"He just didn't want to say anything because he was worried it would put a strain on your relationship with me."

That was _so_ Jiho. He always put everyone else before himself. Honestly, that was one of the things Byungjoo ~~loved~~ liked about him the most. 

"So he...what does that mean? Does he...want to be with me, or?"

"Well, that's something the two of you are going to have to figure out, Bon Bon."

"Bon Bon?"

"Yeah, that's my nickname for you now." Hansol beamed, pecking his boyfriend on the tip of the nose. "Because you're so sweet and I just wanna eat you up! It's cute, right?"

Byungjoo raised an eyebrow, sighing deeply. 

"Jesus Christ."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo was nervous. He was sat in some cafe in north London waiting for Jiho so they could...talk. 

It had been weeks since he had told Hansol how he felt about the model and he still had no idea what he wanted. 

He wanted Jiho, he knew that much. But did he want to date him? Be his boyfriend? He already felt so awful that he and Hansol could barely act like they were together in public and it had almost been six months. Could he really do that to Jiho too? Though, Jiho couldn't exactly be all that public about his relationships either, at least that was something they had in common. 

But how would he split his time between Hansol and Jiho? It was hard enough with Hansol already having two other boyfriends, Jiho had three. How would this even work if they were all inter-dating one another? How did the rest of them manage to get any alone time?  

Then there was the sex thing. He still hadn't even bottomed with Hansol, how was he going to fare with Shin fucking Jiho? If he was too scared to sleep with his tiny, sugary, angelic, boyfriend, what the fuck was he going to do with this bleach blonde stallion of a man that was notorious for making boys scream with pleasure? 

This was a fucking mess. Maybe he could just leave and pretend he got stuck at work or something. 

"Hey, Joo."

Or maybe he could just stare at Jiho's perfect, gleaming white smile until he melted. 

"Hey."

"Do you want anything? I'm starving I haven't eaten all day I might just get one of everything and I don't care if it's like twenty-seven degrees out I'm having a hot chocolate."

Byungjoo smiled softly. How could someone who looked so suave and sophisticated be so fucking cute? And how was Jiho so calm and collected? Byungjoo was a fucking wreck. 

"I'll just have a lemonade, thanks." 

Byungjoo watched on as Jiho ordered, rubbing the palms of his hands against his chinos in an attempt to wipe the clamminess away. Why was Jiho making him so nervous? He had known the guy for like three years, they went out for food all of the time. He wished he could just relax. 

"So..." Jiho started, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "Us."

Byungjoo blinked. "Us?"

"Yeah... What do you, like, want to happen?"

Jiho knew that Byungjoo liked him, and he knew fine well that he liked Byungjoo, but he had given the elder a little time to think things over properly before they discussed anything. The last thing he wanted was Byungjoo jumping into another relationship before he was ready and that ultimately destroying the one he had with Hansol. 

"I...I really don't know." Byungjoo laughed nervously, eyes falling to his drink so they didn't have to meet Jiho's. "I mean, I like you, as more than a friend...maybe."

"I like you too. As more than a friend. Definitely."

Okay, that made him flush. Not that it took much for Byungjoo to go an unattractive shade of crimson. 

"And," Jiho continued after sipping on his drink, "I would love to be able to call you my boyfriend. If that's what you want too. Obviously."

Byungjoo swallowed thickly, eyes shooting up to find Jiho's ebony ones staring back at him. His gaze was intense, but Byungjoo knew that was only because he meant what he said. There wasn't an ounce of uncertainty in those dark pools. 

"I-I'd like that too." Byungjoo squeaked out before he could stop himself. Because he would, it was the truth. That list of worries was still niggling at the back of his mind. But he wanted Jiho, he really did. 

"Really?" Jiho was stunned that Byungjoo had come out with it straight away. He had expected to have to turn the charm on and really woo the elder blonde. "Are you sure, because-"

"I'm sure." Byungjoo’s features broke out into a wide smile as he really thought about it. About being with Jiho. Of course that's what he wanted. It was _Jiho_. Who wouldn't want to be with him? He wanted what the rest of them had; that perfect boyfriend that would put his needs above all else, someone to smother him in kisses and bone crushing cuddles, someone to have mind blowing sex with in the back of a Mercedes. Of course that's what he wanted. And sure, he got all of that with Hansol, but he would be mad to not want to double that. He almost found it weird that more people didn't have two boyfriends. 

Jiho mirrored Byungjoo’s smile, fingers intertwining with the elders under the table, where no one else could see. 

"I would totally kiss you right now if we weren't in public."

"You can kiss me as much as you want when we get back to yours."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Ah! Hansol!"

Byungjoo’s arms tensed up, hands flat against the tiled wall of the shower as water pelted down on him. Hansol was fucking into him from behind with such force he was ready to give in completely and just collapse against the wall. 

That was until Jiho lowered himself to his knees in front of him, eyes twinkling as he looked up at Byungjoo, as his tongue poked out to lick a languid strip up Byungjoo’s aching cock. 

"Fuck- Jiho!" He called out as Jiho took the throbbing organ in his mouth, not wasting any time in bobbing his head up and down. 

Byungjoo was in heaven. He had no idea sex could be this good. No idea that being with not one, but two boys could be so good. That being fucked would feel so good. 

It had taken him a while to get there, to relax enough to even let Hansol stick a finger in him. But as soon as the elder hit his prostate for the first time, Byungjoo knew fine well there was no going back. He couldn't get over the intense pleasure of having one of his boyfriends inside of him. 

"Harder! Hansol- Please." His cries were staggered, barely able to get his words out as he spread his legs further apart against the slippery surface of the shower, hoping to god he wouldn't fall and choke Jiho with his dick in the process. That would be embarrassing. 

He wished he had something to fist his hands into, bedsheets, a pillow, anything. Jiho's hair would have to do. He was glad the younger was growing it out again. 

He gasped as Jiho moaned around his cock at the contact, vibrations sending shockwaves through his body. It had surprised him to find out that Jiho liked it kind of rough; he had always assumed his model boyfriend had been a strict Dom, that was how he came off despite his sunny personality. But apparently Hansol, of all people, brought out the submissive in him. Being with the two of them had taught him not to judge a book by its cover, and that same sex relationships maybe weren't as straight forward as they seemed. 

Well, he had never figured he'd like being fucked in the ass til tears streamed down his face but here he was. He had been adamant that he was he was a top, that bottoming would never do anything for him. He had been _straight_ for so long, after all. But now he was more than happy to roll over and let one of his boyfriends fuck him into the mattress. 

He wasn't sure he could take much more, the pleasure hitting him twofold thanks to Hansol’s dick and Jiho's mouth. 

"I-I'm so fucking close."

"Then come, baby, I'm sure Jiho can't wait to taste you." _God_. Hansol’s voice always got to him when it was lowered an octave, when he was telling him what to do as opposed to asking him. He didn't even find it embarrassing like he imagined he would. He just wanted to be good for the elder. 

He could practically feel Jiho smiling around his length in agreement. Which was just as well, because before he knew it he was coming down the models throat. 

"Jiho!" He tried to cry out but his voice was so strained it came out as more of a strangled whisper, slumping against the tiles as Jiho pulled back from his reddened cock, as Hansol continued to fuck into him, chasing his own orgasm. 

His head was spinning, vision blurred, body burning with hypersensitivity as Hansol rutted into him, rhythm becoming uneven. Byungjoo could tell he was close, couldn't wait to have Hansol fill him. 

He could just about make out Jiho on his knees below him, touching himself to the lewd sounds that his two boyfriends were making, to the sight of Hansol completely ruining Byungjoo. 

"Hansol, please." Byungjoo pleaded; pretty sure his legs were about to give out if the elder didn't climax anytime soon. He could barely hold himself up. 

"Just a- Fuck- Just a bit more, baby." Hansol’s voice was tight, he wanted to hold out on Byungjoo, make the blonde suffer a little. He found it adorable when Byungjoo would beg and whine, but he was so close himself he was worried if he held on he'd end up passing out when he did finally come. 

Fuck it. 

He allowed orgasm to envelop his body, skin tingling as he fell against Byungjoo’s back, milking himself in the younger. 

"Holy fuck, Joo..."

"You two need to get to bed." Hansol hadn't even registered the fact Jiho had finished himself off and was now stood up in the shower next to them. This was what he loved about the three of them, that he could be as dominant as he wanted during sex but once it was all over he could go back to being submissive and cuddly because Jiho couldn't help but want to look after them. 

The model led them both out of the shower, towelling Byungjoo’s hair off as Hansol wrapped himself up in another one. The blonde was barely responsive, body still coming down from such an intense orgasm. 

Before Byungjoo knew it he was being laid down on Jiho's bed, instantly sinking into the soft mattress, nuzzling into the pillow. He was so fucking tired. Getting fucked in the ass really took it out of him, even though he wasn't usually the one doing any of the work. 

"Sollie..." He whispered, not bothering to open his eyes as the mattress dipped beside him, hoping his boyfriend was coming to join him in bed. He could do with a cuddle right about now. 

"Hey, Bon Bon." Hansol whispered back, not wanting to disrupt Byungjoo too much as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the younger's head before sliding under the covers next to him. 

"Dun...call me that." Hansol giggled softly as Byungjoo tried to tell him off, clearly way too tired to formulate a proper sentence. It was adorable, truly. 

"I'm gonna have to think of a cute nickname for you too." Jiho added, settling down behind Byungjoo, snaking an arm around his waist. 

Byungjoo merely groaned at the thought, too tired to respond properly. He would never admit it, but he actually loved when Hansol called him Bon Bon, ridiculous nicknames and rings seemed to be their thing. It made him feel like he was really part of this slightly insane relationship. 

His thumb ghosted over the two stones that sat nestled on his middle finger, letting sleep take over his worn body as he snuggled into the warmth of his boyfriends. 

"I love you both, so much." He muttered, a soft smile on his face as he tried to stifle a yawn. 

"We love you too, Joo."

"More than anything."


	13. Moving Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS.  
> GUYS ITS.  
> ITS FINALLTT DONE IGS I  
> I NEVER HAVE TI THIBK ABT GARNET AGAIN!!!
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this fucking long haul fic but we can FINALLY move on!!! I'm gonna work on posting the rest of alexandrite soon which compared to this is totally angst free and just pretty fluffy aw  
> hopefully you'll enjoy that too!!  
> thanks for reading and commenting it means a looooot

Byungjoo turned the key in his door, legs aching from a day of work. He really needed to find a new job, but that seemed like so much effort.

He wished he could have gone back to his boyfriends' place tonight, but his parents had insisted he stay at home, pulling the 'we barely see you anymore' card.

Honestly, his relationships were going perfectly. He had been with Hansol almost two years and Jiho a year and a half and he wouldn't change it for the world. They had had a few rough patches, namely Byungjoo being too scared to bottom for months before finally plucking up the courage to do it and realising that he had been missing out on something amazing. Hojoon wasn't too pleased about the prospect of Jiho and Byungjoo being a couple for a while either, when you added his manipulative boyfriend-cum-sugardaddy to the mix it had led to a volatile few months for them all. But this time Byungjoo stood his ground; he didn't shy away or bottle things up and fought back against Hojoon, because he deserved to be with Jiho just as much as the dancer did. In the end that was what made Hojoon respect him, showing that he had balls. Now they were closer than they ever had been, sure they still made sly jabs at one another but it was all in jest. He couldn't imagine his life without Hojoon in it. Jiho had even found a fifth person to love him, another model named Hyosang. How did Byungjoo end up being associated with so many attractive people? It blew his mind. Hyosang was laid back and down to earth and the two of them got on great. It really felt like their family was complete.

Okay, so maybe there was one thing he would change.

His living situation.

Their relationship was still a secret, never being able to pluck up the courage to tell his parents. He was astounded he had managed to keep it on the down low for so long, actually. Using ridiculous excuses like 'oh, I was playing football and got tackled' when he would come home limping after an especially rough night or 'I'm just really good at foreplay, girls love that shit' that one time his Dad found a vibrator in his room. That was particularly embarrassing.

There had been a number of times where he had psyched himself up to tell them, where he told himself this was it, he couldn't keep lying, that it wasn't fair on Hansol or Jiho, his parents or even himself. But something always managed to get in the way and in the end he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He wished it wasn't like this. That he could have both his parents support and his boyfriends love with everything being out in the open, but deep down he knew that was too much to ask.

He wished he could live with them. He hated having to pry himself away from Jiho's arms to go back home so his parents wouldn't question him about where he'd been all night and having to make up an excuse about a girl he met. He hated waking up without Hansol curled into his side. He even hated missing out on bickering with Hojoon over who got the last cookie, and ultimately getting a slap around the back of the head from Taeyang who would proclaim that neither of them deserved it. It was the small things that he missed.

He hated that they were all together and he wasn't there. Even Hyosang had moved in before him, and he had only been with Jiho a few months. He just wished that his parents would accept him for who he was so he could get on with his life and live with his other family, the ones that loved him no matter what.

But he knew it wasn't that simple. That if he told his parents everything he would lose them, and as closed minded as they were, he still loved them. They were his parents, after all.

"Is anyone in?" He called into the hallway, hoping his parents had gone out to pick up dinner or something when there was no reply.

He made his way to the kitchen, stretching as he made himself a microwaveable burger. He wasn't exactly looking for nutrition, he just needed something greasy and warm to snack on until he knew where they had gone and whether they were bringing back real food or not.

He took off his - well, Jiho's - hoodie, throwing it on the bench as he pushed through the door that joined the kitchen and the living room with his back.

"Hello, Byungjoo."

He flinched, burger his mouth as he turned to see his parents sat side by side in the living room, laptop open on the table in front of them.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me, I thought everyone was out." He brought his hand to his chest in an attempt to calm his heavily beating heart. He sat on the sofa opposite his parents, looking around for the remote as he took another bite of his burger. Why were they staring at him? Why weren't they saying anything?

"We know, Byungjoo."

"You know what?" He asked, words muffled by the bread and processed beef in his mouth.

"About Jiho."

His chewing halted, colour draining from his face as his parents turned the laptop to face him. They had a page from a popular news, well, gossip site, open. A headline 'Jiho Shin kisses rumoured new beau in Holland Park' followed by a number of pictures of him and Jiho on the date they went on the day before.

Beau? Really?

He swallowed thickly, both of his parents staring back at him. "Uh..." He had no idea what to say, he knew they'd find out one day, but he didn't think it would be like this.

"Well? Is this true? Is this Jiho your boyfriend?" His mother asked, her voice wavering.

Byungjoo averted her gaze, nodding lowly. There was no point trying to deny it, the evidence was there.

"I had to find out that my son is gay," she spat out the last word as if it left a bitter taste in her mouth, "from Anna, the receptionist. She showed me the article because she recognised you, Byungjoo. Do you know how humiliating that was? Not only is my son with another man, but it's published all over the internet where anyone can see."

"I'm not gay." Byungjoo kept his head lowered, not wanting to see the disappointment on their faces.

"What?"

"I said, I'm not gay. I still like girls."

He heard his father scoff. "So what, this is just an attention seeking thing?"

"No, I-"

"Are you just experimenting, Byungjoo?" He could almost hear the relief in his mother’s voice. "Because...because I could deal with that. This Jiho, he's pretty, he's rich, and I get it if you're jus-"

"I love him." He raised his eyes to meet his parents gaze. This wasn't just some fling; he wasn't just messing around with Jiho. He was in love with him.

They stared back at him, his mother’s mouth agape, his father's eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm in love with him."

"Jesus fucking Christ I need a drink." His father stood, pushing into the kitchen, the door banging off the corner of the bench, making Byungjoo flinch.

He and his mother sat in silence; he could hear her breathing from across the room. He hated this.

"How long?" She broke the silence.

"Since Jiho? Just over a year."

She took a shaky breath. "Since you knew you were gay."

"I'm not ga-"

"Then whatever you are, Byungjoo. How long?" Her voice was raised; he could tell she was getting upset.

"I dunno...a couple of years?"

She dragged her hands down her face, looking up to the ceiling to stop the tears falling.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was quiet, breathy. Byungjoo almost felt bad for lying to her. Then he realised. She wasn’t upset that he didn't tell her, that her son kept something this big from her, she was upset that her reputation had been ruined, that someone else found out first.

"Are you kidding me?" He sat forward on sofa, elbows resting on his knees, hands clamped together. "Because I know fine well you would have kicked off. You don't want a gay son. You didn't even want me being friends with a gay guy, you tried to stop me seeing Hansol."

Her jaw dropped, hand shaking as it reached up to cover her open mouth.

"I knew it. I knew this would happen if I let you be friends with that faggot." His father stood against the doorway, whiskey in hand. "Now you're one of them."

He crossed the room, taking his seat back next to his wife, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Look what you've done to your mother." He glanced across at the crying woman on the sofa opposite him. He didn't want to hurt her, but he wasn't going to pretend he was someone else just to keep her happy. He was sick of that. He wasn't going to deny his love for Jiho and Hansol just so she could keep her precious reputation.

"I can't help who I am."

"Then what are you, Byungjoo? You say you're in love with this Jiho but he's clearly not in love with you."

He quirked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? You don't even know him."

"Then why," his father slammed his glass down on the table, "are there pictures of him with other guys all over the Internet? One of them is that Hansol kid. I'm guessing you knew, unless you never go online, so what the fuck is going on here? It's one thing having a gay son, but I refuse to be the father of some cheap slut."

Byungjoo took a deep breath. He was hoping he wouldn't have to deal with all of this in one night. Being outted to his homophobic parents was one thing, but trying to explain this six-way relationship he had gotten involved in was another.

"It's not like that. Jiho's not like that. He loves us. All of us. And I love them."

"Them?" His mother spoke up again, sniffling into her sleeve.

Byungjoo played with his hand, with the rings on his fingers as everything bubbled to the surface. He just had to get it out.

"Jiho and Hansol, I...I'm in love with them both. They're both my boyfriends. Then there's Taeyang and Hojoon and Hyosang, he loves them too. He loves all of us."

He jumped slightly as his father laughed loudly, bitterly. "This is fucking ridiculous. Is he paying you? Is that how he has this little collection of boys? You're a fucking whore, Byungjoo."

He clenched his teeth as his father took another drink of whiskey. He hated someone even implying that Jiho would ever do that, especially after everything with Hojoon. He knew his parents were narrow minded, but he wouldn't let them talk about his boyfriend like that.

"Shut the fuck up, you know nothing about him." He shifted forward in his seat, pushing the forgotten burger out of his way. "He loves me and he accepts me for who I am, which is more than you two have ever done."

He knew his parents had always been ashamed of him, that he wasn't the smart, sporty, masculine son they had hoped for. That people called him 'pretty' or 'cute' instead of 'handsome', that he struggled to put together a set of Ikea drawers, that he couldn't play rugby to save his life. He had tried to be that person for twenty-three years, and he was sick of it. He was sick of lying to himself. He had finally found a family at accepted and loved him no matter what. He didn't have to be this fake version of himself anymore.

"I'm moving out." He stood, striding over to the hallway. "I'll come back tomorrow to collect the rest of my stuff."

"Byungjoo, wait." His mother stood, her voice was strained from sobbing. He tried not to let it affect him. "You don't have to go. We still love you."

"Yes he does." His father interrupted, not even bothering to move from the sofa or turn to face his son. "I don't want to see you here again so make sure you come over when we're both at work."

He watched his mother sit back down next to her husband, taking his side over her only child's. He knew he was better off with Jiho and Hansol.

He scoffed, turning on his heel to head upstairs and pack himself a bag. He had to get out of here.

"Hey, can I stay over tonight?" His voice wavered slightly as he spoke down the phone. "I'm at my parents place can you come pick me up, as soon as possible? Please? Text me when you get here. Love you."

He looked around his room, gathering some things he needed for the night. His eyes settled on the small collection of coloured stones on his bedside table, smiling to himself. He really didn't get the whole crystal healing thing, if he was being totally honest he could only remember the names of a couple of the stones, but it meant a lot that Jiho wanted to share his passions with him. He placed the stones in his inside pocket, not wanting them to get lost in his bag.

His thumb ghosted over the two rings on his middle finger, each bearing a stone in a different shade of purple.

His phone buzzed, signalling Jiho was outside waiting for him. He took a deep breath. This was it.

He threw his bag over his shoulder, making his way back downstairs and out of the door. He smiled to himself at the dark haired man leaning against his car, dressed in all black as per usual. Even looking at Jiho made him feel warm.

"Byungjoo!"

He paused a couple of steps away from his boyfriend, turning back to the voice calling from his house. His mother was following him down the path, he could see the tears in her eyes, glinting in the streetlight.

"You don't have to go. This is your home."

He smiled sadly. "Not anymore, he's made that pretty clear." He laced his fingers with Jiho's, leaning into the taller boy's side. "My home is with Jiho now."

His mother nodded, looking up at the dark haired boy next to her son. "Look after him, won't you? I...he's my baby, please make sure he's happy."

Jiho smiled, looping his arm around the blonde's shoulders. "Of course I will, don't worry. He'll be fine with us."

"Thank you." She turned her attention back to Byungjoo. "I'm finishing work around one tomorrow; your Dad won't be in til seven. Come over then and I'll help you pack."

She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her son, burying her face in his neck as she spoke. "I love you, Byungjoo. I don't really understand all this, but I love you no matter what."

Byungjoo’s breath hitched before relaxing into his mother’s embrace. "I love you too, Mum."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Byungjoo had no idea why he hadn't done this sooner. He had no idea why he had wasted so much time living with his parents, keeping his relationship a secret, when he could have been living with his real family.

He had forgotten what it was like to wake up alone, he always had someone to cuddle into at night. Even Hojoon had taken to sleeping in his bed when he didn't want to disrupt Jiho or Taeyang.

He loved it. He was worried he would feel smothered living with five other boys, who were all in intertwining relationships, but he didn't. He loved that he always had someone to come home to, or play video games with or even have sex with.

His mother had even come over once or twice, to make sure his living conditions were up to her standards. She was surprised by how well kept the house was, expecting six boys in their twenties to be living in a pig sty. She and Taeyang had bonded almost instantly over his rigorous cleaning rota he made sure the rest of them abide by.

His father still wasn't on board, the two of them barely spoke, but he couldn't really care less. He was happy and that's what was important. Maybe one day this would all fall apart and his father could say 'I told you so', but for now it was working. They were all happy and he wasn't ready to give that up over a man who couldn't accept who he was.


End file.
